The Association

A Look Back at My Trip to All-Star Weekend in Dallas

By Craig Kwasniewski

I know it's been many weeks since All-Star Weekend in Dallas, but bear with me... I still feel the need to do a review and since the NCAA tourney hasn't kicked off just yet, It's still kind of relevant... right? Okay maybe not, but since I went to Dallas on my dime, I have the right to write a review whenever I damn well please, so there. Without further adieu, my annual Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down on my All-Star Weekend Experience.

Like Phoenix last year, the trip was on a very tight budget. I used a soon-to-be-expired free ticket on Southwest (translation: TWO connections, so my flight from Burbank to Dallas took 8 hours!!!!), I stayed in a very cheap Residence Inn and steered clear of all the major events (I don't have the coin to drop $500 to see All-Star Saturday Night or the All-Star Game itself). So with that in mind here we go:

Thumbs up to the All-Star Celebrity Game: A VERY surprising thumbs up. I really expected this to be the worst event of the weekend. Think about it, a roster with 4 Harlem Globetrotters, Nancy Lieberman, Michael Rapaport, Dr. Oz, Chris Tucker... just sounds like a terrible experience. I killed the list of "celebrities" a few weeks ago:

We're really using the term Celebrity loosely here. Seriously, for the right price, and I'm talking $100 cash, they'll show up to your kid's Bar Mitzvah even if you're not Jewish.

I was waaaay wrong. First off, the Harlem Globetrotters toned down their act and were actually ballin'. Obviously they wanted to prove they have game, blocking weak shots and throwing down a few sweet dunks. Terrell Owens made a surprise appearance and was gunning for the MVP right from the opening tip. Call it showboating, call it attention grabbing, but TO was like the Globetrotters, out there to prove he's got game... which he does (D-League talent but whatever).

But the best moment was seeing Robert Horry and Rick Fox go at it on opposing teams. I watched these guys up-close from 1999-00 to 2002-03 while the Lakers won three NBA titles and all those amazing memories came flying back. The clutch jumpers, the cruel elbows, the Sacto rivalry, it all came back. It was weird seeing them both age and obviously out of basketball shape (Horry was Magic-like big but with skinny legs and Fox was all peppery haired and distinguished and has that I'm banging Eliza Dushku air about him). The Celebrity Game was on a temporary court at NBA Jam Session, so you're right up close to the action for only $35 (staying within budget). It was easily the best event of the weekend and it was a damn shame to I had to leave it early to run across town to catch the Rookie Game.

The opening tip from my seat.  That's "referee" Mike Breen tossing the ball.

Thumbs Down to the Event Scheduling. I know television plays a big role in all of it, but really you couldn't put a little time between the Celebrity Game (6:00 PM) and Rookie Game (8:00PM)? Some of us here are sicko hoops fans that want to see EVERYTHING. But instead I had to leave the Celebrity Game after 3 quarters (insert typical Lakers fan joke here) and grab a cab to go a few miles over to American Airlines Center for the Rookie Game. Why not start the Celeb game 30 minutes earlier? It was on ESPN, but I'll guarantee it was used as a time filler and not aired for ratings. Just start it a tad sooner.. for me, your biggest fan. Speaking of cabbies...

MAJOR Thumbs Down to the Dallas Cabbies. Come on now! You're telling me you can't drive 3 miles in 30 minutes? Oh and they weren't pulling the "let's take the slowest route to drive up our rates" (like they ALWAYS do in Vegas), because the cab fares are dirt cheap in Dallas. Every cabbie is Dallas drives like my mom! Nothing like sitting in a cab that let's EVERYONE cut in from of them. And this wasn't just one guy, this was every time I grabbed a cab. I actually got out halfway to AAC and walked to the game (I seriously would have been 20 minutes late if I didn't).

Thumbs up to the an improved Rookie Game. Last year all I remember was Durant reigning supreme and kids screaming. Oh the kids... screaming, screaming, screaming throughout the game and almost ruining the experience. 

It wasn't like that this year.  Maybe it was because the game was better or they just know how to raise kids in Texas (probably that).  By the way, Texas is the only place where they refer to local law as Texas Law.  Like, "Texas Law states that you can't serve alcohol after 2:00 AM."  Only Texas can pull that off... "California Law..." just doesn't sound right.  And Texas Law totally sounds ominous enough to work. Maybe Texas Law states that kids shut the hell up during the Rookie Game.

Anyway, the Rookies really came out to play.  Brandon Jennings and Tyreke Evans took turns breaking down the D and getting to the cup over and over.  This was the first time I saw either player in person and they totally live up to the hype and the sense of the moment.  Meaning, they know it's an event to entertain on a weekend meant to entertain and they did just that... entertain.  Omri Casspi had a few funky dunks where he went right at the defender and leaned in and dunked with his left hand... hard to describe but very creative.  And DeJuan Blair dominated the glass with 23 boards... in an exhibition game!  (And it wasn't like he was bustin' his ass and stat hawking all game, he just found the right spots and had a good time.)  Now if Patrick Ewing followed the lead of the Rookies and understood the moment...

My seat was waaaay high up, but still a good view.

Thumbs Down to the Worst Rookie Game Coach Ever... Patrick Ewing.  Easy big fella, NBA GM's aren't scouting your coaching abilities in an exhibition game between 1st and 2nd year players.  So when Russell Westbrook has 40 points with 5 minutes left and is scorching hot... you might NOT want to sub him out.  Yeah you read that correctly, Ewing subbed out Westbrook right as he was ON FIYAH from three point range, with the crowd rocking and the NBA vets sitting courtside rolling.  The guy was going to drop 50 and Ewing subbed him out... it's an exhibition game meant to entertain, it's not a trial for a head coaching spot.  Court awareness Pat!!!!

Thumbs up to the American Airlines Center.  Cool venue, big and spacious like Staples Center but with better HD jumbotrons, in-stadium entertainment (the Mavs Dancers even way high up are smoking hot!) and most important of all... fairly priced beer.  I was expecting a crush of screams inundating me from the kids so I helped dull the senses with a smooth glass of Guinness (for $6. maybe I'm used to LA prices, but that seemed like a good deal).  Hey maybe that's why the crowds weren't as bad as last season.  Texas Law says I need to down two beers before watching a sporting event with 10,000 screaming kids.  BTW - my ticket cost $35 for upper corner seats at the Rookie Game and they weren't that bad.

Thumbs up to the media hospitality room.  Hung out with a few friends in the media at the hospitality room Friday night.  FREE BEER!  Do I really need to say any more?  In fact I won't.  Simply, it was nice to hang out with a few of the many people who cover the NBA and I finally to go put faces to the words I read all the time. 

Thumbs Waaaay Down to the All Star Practice Session.  This is the third year I've been to the practice session and it was easily the most disappointing of the weekend.  Maybe it's because the previous two events were so good, or maybe because my seats were high in the corner (see below), or maybe it was a repeat of the now very tiresome Guinness Book of World Records routine... 

No wait a minute, I'll tell you EXACTLY what went wrong: Y'all took waaay too much time to get the ball rolling!!!  I had an early afternoon flight back to Burbank and I THOUGHT I timed it well enough to see the entire practice session, grab a cab and get the hell out of Dodge, I mean Dallas.  Except that the Eastern Conference started 15 minutes late and the Western Conference went "headline act" and took FOR-EV-VER to get out on the floor.  Or was it never? I'm actually not sure BECAUSE I HAD TO LEAVE BEFORE THEY GOT ON THE FLOOR!!!!  

The Eastern Conference All-Stars shooting around before practice kicks off.

That's right, I came halfway across the country to see and experience NBA All-Star Weekend and hang out and have a few drinks with friends.  Got to see 2 1/2 events of All-Star Weekend because the damn Western Conference took too damn long to get on the floor.  But hey, at least I got 30 minutes of (doing the television production hand sign of stretching out the time) the PA pump-up-the-jamz guy or whatever they call him doing the whole "Dallas, we... can't... hear... you!!!!" routine that is fingernails on a chalkboard.  And like last year, the crowd got tired of the crap and started chanting "We want the stars!"

Now I don't blame the pump it up guy, it's his job to get the event to run smoothly, even as the "talent" is running late (and maybe this is a sign of maturity, because a year ago I would have killed the guy... "WE CAN'T HEAR YOUUUUUU!!!!").  I blame the event organizers.  Come on man, mix in a clock and get these guys to move their asses on to the floor.  I saw the Eastern Conference guys and the 30 minute media session... in previous years I would have been happy just to be there, except that I travelled a long distance and only saw half of it.  Boooo!!!

Glass half full.  Despite the failure of the Practice Session, I enjoyed the rest of my time in Dallas.  NBA Jam Session was, as always, a well-organized good time.  I got to pick up some fresh gear and hang out.  The Celebrity Game was my favorite and overall I had a blast.  Can't wait until next year when it comes out here in LA.  THUMBS UP DALLAS!

Even the Dwight Howard Statue at NBA Jam Session was having a good time.... I think. 

Photos: The Dunk Contestants Needed to Channel Ruby Rhod Last Night

By Craig Kwasniewski 

What was that honey? It was BAD! It had no fire, no energy, no nothing! So tomorrow from 5 to 7 will you PLEASE act like you have more than a two word vocabulary. 

Or in this case some personality in the dunk contest!  Fitting that with Chris Tucker in the house, all I could think of what Ruby Rhod from the Fifth Element said to Korben Dallas (coincidence?) after showing zero personality.

Seriously, wow did THAT suck! I guess not every dunk contest is a home run. Not every one craps out an iconic dunk. In fact this was the worst contest since the 2004 one in LA... oh the ONLY one that I ever attended in person (heavy sigh). 

Anyway, Dunk contests have very little to do with the actual dunk itself, it's more to do with the entertainment and hype that surrounds each dunk. This is what Dwight Howard, Nate Robinson, Josh Smith and Gerald Green all understood in past competitions. Energy, pop, creativity, showmanship, pizzazz (doing the Hollywood producer finger snapping thing right now)... the dunk is just the finishing touch to each attempt, the icing on the cake if you will.  Again, just listen to my man Ruby Rhod... fire and energy!

Last night three of the four contestants went retro in a bad way and just assumed people just wanted to see dunks. Yeah that was great if it really was 1986 and we were in Reunion Arena, but that just doesn't fly today. Not after seeing Superman, Kryptonite, The Sticker Dunk and The Cupcake Dunk. It's just too bad the contestants didn't possess the same type of creativity as their pre-contest studio shots. Check it out, Shannon Brown, Gerald Wallace and DeMar DeRozan all exuded personality in these photos... personality that seriously failed to make an apperance in the American Airlines Arena last night.

   

The Association Heads to Big D for All-Star Weekend

By Craig Kwasniewski

For the next few days I'll be in Dallas, Texas for All Star Weekend... Big D.... the home of JR Ewing, the Dallas Cowboys and Cheaters... yeah sorry, but my knowledge of Dallas pop culture ends right there, though I'm willing to open my eyes and mind and learn me some Dallas. (BTW - they really should wear the whole Cheaters thing with a Texas Rangers sized badge of honor, you can never get enough mini-vans loaded with camera crews chasing down domestic disturbances.)

First off, I had no idea that Dallas in February is the winter wonderland of the USA. Record snowfall greeted me and mistake #1 became quite obvious: I choose fashion over function and did not bring a single pair of all-weather shoes. Jordan IV's (MARS Blackmon's) and some dress shoes and I earned myself a weekend of wet socks... awesome. But enough complaining about the weather from someone who lives in California...

Anyway, my free ticket from Southwest Airlines mileage was about to expire so I thought, why the hell not and do a repeat trip to All-Star Weekend like Phoenix last year. The same principles apply here, tight budget and a short trip, so no All-Star Saturday Night or All-Star Game on Sunday. I'm here through Saturday afternoon with tickets to the Celebrity Game, the Rookie Game and All-Star Practice (all three total $100).

Stay tuned as I will post my All-Star experiences this weekend...

Thanks to the NBA for Rendering the Rookie Game Pointless

By Craig Kwasniewski

Hey thanks for letting Derrick Rose out of the Rookie Game. No seriously, thanks for allowing a 21-year old to rest up on a Friday of All-Star Weekend instead of playing all of two exhibition games and a dribble contest over a span of three days. Gosh, I had no idea the amount of physical stress playing over All-Star Weekend is on a well-conditioned professional athlete. Hey thanks for confirming what most people already knew: The Rookie Game is pointless!

Here's my problem with that... I bought tickets to your damn Rookie Game!!!

Yep, in a bad economy not everyone is able to bankroll the $500 to see All-Star Saturday Night or $1,000 for good seats for the All-Star Game on Sunday. Some of us just want to catch what they can afford over All-Star Weekend and the Rookie Game at $35 per seat was just that event.

Last year I praised the NBA for coming up with so many affordable alternative (BTW - not "alternative" as in Prop. 8 "alternative" but alternative as in not as expensive) events. I was able to catch the Rookie Game on Friday night for $35 and the All-Star Practice the next morning for $55. Not bad if you just want to get a feel for the whole All-Star experience. I thought it was genius that the NBA was able to create so many events to allow fans to capture the essence of All-Star Weekend.

Now... well now, I'm a tad pissed off. I'm making a cost-effective (read: using mileage for a free flight from LA) trip to Big D for All-Star Weekend. I spent a grand total of $100 on tickets to the Celebrity Game, All-Star Practice and the Rookie Game... not a bad deal at all.  Just like last season, it's all about catching a feel for the whole All-Star experience.  Sure it's not the big boy events, but on a scale of 1 to 10, I still totaled a *10*...just two 3's and a 4.  But instead of getting a chance to see Rose, a superstar in the making I get Anthony Morrow and a reminder of something that I already knew in the back of my mind... that the Rookie Game is pointless.

Yao did it in 2004 - Letting Rose skip out is completely breaking precedent.  Yao Ming in 2004 played in both the Rookie Game (6 points & 5 boards in 15 minutes) and the All Star Game (16 points & 4 boards in 18 minutes) the same weekend.  Maybe Rockets fans can blame all of his countless injuries on that grueling 33 minutes over 3 days... and who wouldn't?  It's a freakin' exhibition weekend for the true NBA fans... Rose should play on Friday!

Celebrity Game Horror - I'm already regretting the money I spent on the "Celebrity" Game.  FOUR Globetrotters, Nancy Lieberman... Chris Tucker???  We're really using the term Celebrity loosely here.  Seriously, for the right price, and I'm talking $100 cash, they'll show up to your kid's Bar Mitzvah even if you're not Jewish.  You mean they couldn't find a random Dallas Cowboy to slowly dribble the ball up court?  Danny White, Tony Dorsett, Troy Aikman... Michael Irvin, none of these guys were willing show up?  Money NOT well spent!

The League Should Channel the BCS and Keep the All Star Voting As Is

By Craig Kwasniewski

First off, I'm down with A.I. getting the starting nod in the All Star game. People were pointing out how flawed the whole voting system is, but come on, he deserved what was in essence a "career thumbs up" from the peeps. Is it really wrong to catch one of the most exciting players from the Aughts in a siganure event for one last time? Even if he's only scoring 14.3 points on a lottery bound team let the man play!

Even if David Stern didn't fix the Western Conference voting for Steve Nash (which he totally did), I'd be cool with T-Mac starting in Dallas too. This is the system the NBA has had in like forever and it should remain the same... regardless that a player like T-Mac is voted in despite playing a grand total of 46 minutes this season. (BTW - I'm cool with the fix, Nash is on his last legs as a significant player and with Sarver bent on selling off the entire Suns roster, this might be Nash's last chance at an All Star spot. And what better place than Dallas, where he really blossomed into the player he is.)

But why change a system that has worked all these years? What's wrong with a little controversy/discussion in the slow months of January and February? The NBA should embrace the controversy BCS-style. We all know the NCAA relishes the extra attention it deserves with all the "the BCS is flawed" talk. This makes college football a year-round water cooler topic. Most of us here are NBA lifers, do we really need any more talk about Gilbert Arenas, LeBron's summer, Kobe vs. LeBron or yet another month of trade talk?  I mean really?!?  Yeah, that's all we need is more weeks of ridiculous trade rumors by ADD fans on long lonely nights playing waaaaay too much with the ESPN trade machine using one hand to type...

It's a long season and the annual All-Star talk is an engaging topic, whether about players, coaches, events, locations... we all need the change of pace. Let's keep the voting as is and embrace the extra controversy.

And think about it, Magic Johnson's All Star MVP performance in 1992 would never have happened if the Association took the votes away from the people. After all, he didn't play a single solitary regular season game so he really didn't "deserve" the spot, did he? But it goes down as one of the best feel good stories in the history of the NBA.

Keep the system as is.

Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down on my Trip to All-Star Weekend

By Craig Kwasniewski 

The regular season resumes with a full slate of games today and officially bringing a close to All-Star Weekend in Phoenix. Being a short yet not so short 6-hour drive from LA, I was able to drive to Phoenix and take in a few events on a very tight budget (read: no All-Star Saturday Night or All-Star Game). Here are some brief thumbs up or thumbs down moments from my All-Star Weekend experience: 

Thumbs Up to the NBA for making parts of All-Star Weekend affordable. Like I said, I made the trip with a very tight budget. In this economy I really can't afford dropping $350 for last row seats at All-Star Saturday or $450 for the All-Star Game on Sunday. But for a combined $90 I was able to get tickets to Friday's Rookie Challenge and Saturday's All-Star Practice which included admission to NBA Jam Session. I really don't know any other professional league that sets up so many events for its All Star Game Weekend. There also was a Celebrity Game on Friday afternoon along with the D-League All-Star Game on Saturday afternoon. I know these are waaaaayyy off Broadway entertainment-wise, but you still can get a feel for the weekend without maxing out a credit card. 

Thumbs Down to the Rookie Game. There's a reason why I was able to get first row upper deck seats at Ticketmaster for $35... the game is borderline an abomination. I get why the NBA separated the Rookie Game from All-Star Saturday Night a few years ago, they wanted to allow as many people possible access. And with both rosters loaded with future and present (Kevin Durant) NBA superstars you'd think the game would be memorable. Unfortunately it always fizzles into a bad pick-up game (2004 was the WORST, the entire half broke into an impromptu lob and dunk contest in a bad way). Mix in literally half of the lower section being filled with screaming 8-12 year olds (the NBA rewarded kids who adhered to a health regimen) and the game was CLEARLY the worst event of the weekend. With all the screaming and yelling kids I felt like I was stuck at Walmart in West Hills on a Tuesday night.  Maybe the NBA was subliminally telling the players to practice safe sex. It took 2 beers to calm me down enough for the rest of the game. 

Thumbs Up to Kevin Durant. The main story of the weekend was Shaq and Kobe, but the All-Star breakthrough story was Durant. The guy DOMINATED the Rookie game for 46 POINTS! Even if there was zero defense being played, 46 points in 40 minute game with a running clock is impressive! He had a moment in the second half where he hit three straight jumpers (back-to-back off a steal) with a Kobe-like dominance. Oh and he won in the first ever All-Star Weekend version of H-O-R-S-E (which needs to be brought back but with flashy veterans like Arenas and Sheed).  Durant will be back as an All-Star next year! 

Thumbs down to the crowd control for H-O-R-S-E. Look, I wanted to see it... and so did most of the fans in downtown Phoenix. There was a buzz about the return to an old-school favorite but having very limited seats in the smallish All-Star Block Party killed any chance of me seeing it (lines to get in were around the block). The NBA clearly underestimated the interest of the fans for it. 

Thumbs Up to the All-Star Practice Session. We're all hoops junkies here, right? So watching NBA All-Stars run though the same drills and shooting games like I did way back in the varsity HS days is always a cool thing. Side bonus is that the practice is held at the Jam Session in a high school sized gym (a typical Indiana State HS or the CSUN Matadome-sized arena, basically a lot smaller than an NBA arena). There's always two ways to run an All-Star practice: serious and playful. The East ran plays for 10 minutes and then broke into shooting games for the last 20. The West ran drills to loosen up (more on why later) and ran plays for the rest of the practice (Phil ran some base Triangle plays like a proud parent, "THAT was part of the Triangle!" with an I'm Phil Jackson gleam in his eye). PJ had the respect of the players while Mike Brown deferred to LeBron... just like he does with the Cavs. Kobe and Shaq ran drills together appearing as though they were remiscing the old days (it looked like Kobe was telling Shaq, "Awww come-on! You remember this!" When Shaq was confused on the running drills).  

Thumbs Down to the ONE HOUR downtime between East and West practices. The Eastern Conference just completed their 30-minute session and the Phoenix faithful was primed and ready to see the Western Conference go at it. The PA guys started pumping up the crowd with the "We can't hear ya!" bullshit and everyone was ready to go... and ready to go... and ready to go... and.... Hey, where the hell are they? This happened for literally one full hour. And killing that hour was the same "Phoenix, we can't hear youuuuu!!!!" guy with some DJ from the Miami Heat. So for one hour all we heard was this guy telling us to make noise while he throws 99-cent gear into the crowd. After 55-minutes of him telling us how bad of fans we were, the crowd started chanting ,"We want the stars!" This was terrible!!! Where were the Suns Dancers? Where were the Harlem Globetrotters (who were literally whoring themselves to everything there... but OF COURSE not now!)? All they had to kill time was this asshole telling me I need to make some MORE noise??? Hey, here's some noise: SHUT THE HELL UP! 

Thumbs Up to Shaq and Phil Jackson at the Practice Session.  Before either session started, there was a media free-for-all with the All-Stars for 30 minutes right there on the court.  Obviously in pursuit of the main story of the weekend, the media flocked to Kobe, Shaq and Phil for a three-way media gang bang.  Shaq and Phil stood back-to-back under one of the hoops fielding questions.  I don't know if they planned it or if it was instinct but as they both stood within feet of each other it suddenly felt like it was 2004 all over again, especially with Kobe fielding questions 50-feet away.  At the end of practice Phil had Shaq shoot freethrows blindfolded for some Guinness Book of Records (most made freethrows made blindfolded in 60 seconds) which completely brought the house down.  

Thumbs Down to the Guinness Book of Records Bit.  They had Devin Harris *SET* the record for fastest dribble from end-to-end on an official NBA court.  They had some random guy *SET* the record for the longest time twirling two basketballs on one finger.  The operative word here was SET, no records broken just records being...S-E-T, set.  With so much going on, these records killed a lot of the practice momentum.  I'd much rather see NBA ballers take turns shooting from half court than SET-ing obscure world records.  It didn't work.

Thumbs Up to Jam Session. Not much to say here except I've been to two Jam Sessions (also LA in 2004) and the NBA puts on a good show. I saw Chauncey Billups and Grant Hill running separate clincs, Iceman Gervin and Detlef Schrempf at the autograph table, Mutombo at the store telling his kids to calm down (high comedy hearing cookie monster discipline his kids!), John Starks pitching his gear at the store... unlike LA in 2004 there seemed to be players everywhere and all were having a good time.

Thumbs down to the line to get into the NBA Store at Jam Session. Waiting in line to spend money doesn't make much sense. Maybe the economy played a role, but the store seemed a lot smaller than in 2004 and the NBA understimated the amount of people willing to shop. I had to wait 20 minutes just to enter the store and get my Pau Gasol AS jersey. 

As soon as I left the Jam Session I tried to see the H-O-R-S-E event but the line was ricockulous so it was time for me to pile back in the car for the LONG 6-hour drive back to LA. TRUST ME, I really wanted to hang around and at least get tickets to All-Star Saturday Night, but I couldn't swing it. But still I had a great time catching what I could! Phoenix was a great host for All-Star Weekend. The police were in good spirits, traffic was non-existent and I never had the feeling that I was being ripped off. I was able to drive up to the arena minutes before the Rookie Challenge without any delay and parking across from US Airways Arena was $10 (Staples Center would have been easily $60). Except for the Nazi photo enforcement zones on the freeway (literally every mile, which means NOBODY goes faster than the speed limit in Phoenix... well except Jason Richardson), Phoenix was the perfect host.

  

Mutombo-tastic!

By Craig Kwasniewski

Is there anything better than a reaction shot of Dikembe Mutombo? If it was up to me I'd isolate one camera on him all night and call it the Mutombo-cam. Here he is right after the Superman Dunk from Dwight Howard, but I guarantee you got the same reaction after the Cupcake Dunk, after the Three-Point Shootout, after buying cotton candy, after finding his seat and even after hearing Dr. John moan thru another song. Why can't TNT just skip a year of Magic Johnson and his "the dunk contest is back" statements and give a headset to Deke? How great would it be to hear Cookie Monster try to describe the Cupcake Dunk?

Tivo Blogging All Star Saturday Night

By Craig Kwasniewski

All-Star Saturday Night has always been one of my favorite events of the entire NBA All-Star Weekend. Maybe it's because I always find myself waxing nostalgia for the great moments of the 1980's, like MJ in the dunk contest or Bird's throwing up the #1 sign as he wins the three-point shootout. But I also love that all the significant ballers in the association gear up and hang out for the night. If All-Star Weekend was a wedding, this would be the rehearsal dinner, with people eating, getting drunk and doing their "I love you man!" speeches.

Anyway, here's some quick takes that I jotted down while watching All-Star Saturday Night on Tivo:

Haier Shooting Stars

-David Robinson needs to take advice from Kareem, MJ and Samuel Jackson and shave his damn head.
-So the big change to all star Saturday night is to add a final round to the Shooting Stars competition? Why not have a half-court shot competition?
-Haier Shooting Stars brought to you by Chinese prison labor (they're headquartered in China).
-I'll take even odds on Duncan and Robinson Chinese Finger Cuffing (brought to you by Haier) that WNBA chick.

PlayStation® Skills Challenge

-Big question for skills competition: will Kidd spit on his Nets jersey?
-Hey Mavs fans, with Kidd comes a bajillion shots of his son sitting courtside. Do you REALLY need this?
-Second big question: will D-Wade wear a #32 with "fuck you" on the back?
-How very Miami Heat of Wade to have a turnover in the skills competition... A turnover?????
-Inspector LeBron James? Is it raining inside the New Orleans Arena?
-Maybe Dallas should reconsider the Kidd trade after seeing the Skills Competition (and CP3 and Williams skillz)... And thank Devean George along the way. Again, non-stop shots of Kidd's son!
-Yay, a bunch of corporate tools win a PS3!
-Why do we have to vote for the greatest dunk ever... every.. single.. year?

Foot Locker Three-Point Shootout

-Nice to see the band "White Man Overbite" do the opening montage to the Three-Point Shootout.
-Even Barkley and Jet Smith miss the first two events, and so do half of the fans. Again, can't we spruce this thing up with higher payouts or better competitions?
-You can see that Rip practiced for this, but not for the line (he stepped over a ton).
-Can someone please say Money Shot?
-Boobie was the tits (stupid joke, but what do you expect after a few beers?).
-Nash gets 9, which is in Canadian dollars, so it's really 15.
-WOW, the world is near the end: Eli Manning doing a Gatorade "worldofclutch.com" add. Even Giant fans have trouble believeing that one! (Believe me, in 10 years we'll be asking ourselves how he got a SB MVP.
-Can't they allow Dirk to shoot with Rammstein playing? (Du Hast Me!)
-Dirk's arc goes higher than the shot clock... Awesome!
-Funniest remark of the night, "is Damon Jones still in this league?"
-Dirk almost hit the camera with the arc!
-Props to Kapono! Another Miami Heat moment? Oh yeah, Pat Riley let him go and traded for Rickey Davis. Let's ask Wade for his thoughts... "Fuck you, Riles!!!"

2008 Sprite Slam Dunk

-Soooo pedictable to have Dr. John sing before the dunk contest (read: piss break). You're telling me that there's no other entertainers from New Orleans? They literally roll this guy out for every sporting event in New Orleans.
-Why give Magic Johnson a mic? Does it come with subtitles?
-Moon opens strong!
-Dwight Howard with a flat out 10! Not just for behind the backboard, but for the windmill follow-up.
-Birthday cake looks promising, but call it correct: Cupcake.
-Magic with his annual "The slam dunk is back!" He literally does this every year.
-Cupcake is a 10 for creativity! Reminds me of the Sticker Dunk from last year. And the voters did the same thing and screwed over the most creative dunk so far.
-How did Daryl Dawkins give an 8 for the Cupcake Dunk? His nickname is Chocolate Thunder... It was a chocolate cupcake!!!

-Rudy Gay's dunk is more like a 9 compared to Howard and Green.
-Moon can't use a one dimensional jump shooter (Kapono) to pass for his dunk.
-Green's second dunk was an 8.
-Dwight Howard is a pure showman!!! The Superman Dunk ranks up there with the best ever for the hype alone.
-All these creative dunks give me an idea... The scoring system should be broken into two parts: creativity and physicality. Just to rate all these dunks on the same 10 scale doesn't give it justice.
-Gerald Green's first dunk in the final was a 9.5 (between legs off a toss)
-Again Dwight Howard's 1st dunk in the finals would get a 10 for creativity along with a 10 for physicality (the switch hands off the glass one).
-Socks dunk would have been better earlier, but not after Howard's show-stoppers.
-"Let's go home!" Kenny Smith appropriately said it best after Howard's last dunk. Hands down, Howard was the most creative ever!
-Magic needs to stop saying "it is back!" for the 27th year in a row!
-There's no need to go "American Idol" by giving the judges a mic; just awkward and a total momentum killer. Even Sheryl Miller had to pull the plug on Dr. J's endless old-guy rant.
-Finally, Dwight Howard deserves to win with the unique creativity along with his imprssive skills... a good way to end an above-average All-Star Saturday Night.

Photos: New Orleans 2008 All-Star Uniforms

by Brett Edwards

We love us our All-Star gear around these parts, here are some leaked photos of this year's uniforms. No official word from the NBA if these are the final versions, but we'll take what we can get for now. The kicks from adidas aren't bad, either.

[via Ballhype]

Why Phoenix Got the 2009 NBA All-Star Game

By Craig Kwasniewski

(Conspiracy theory alert!!!)

Am I the only one who felt that Phoenix getting the 2009 NBA All-Star Game was a little strange? Think about it, much like the NFL and the Super Bowl, the NBA uses its All-Star Game as a sort of leverage or message. Open a new publicly financed arena and your city will get the NBA All-Star game along with the financial windfall that comes with all the week's festivities. Phoenix even hosted it back in 1995 in their newly opened publicly financed America West Arena. Check out the list of recent All Star Games back to the last one to be held in an old arena (Hoops Mecca, Madison Square Garden back in 1998):

1999 - Philadelphia (Wachovia Center, opened in 1996, postponed for lock-out)
2000 - Oakland (Oracle Arena, $121 million in renovations in 1997)
2001 - Washington D.C. (Verizon Center, opened in 1997)
2002 - Philadelphia (Wachovia Center, make up date for 1999)
2003 - Atlanta (Philips Arena, opened in 1999)
2004 - Los Angeles (Staples Center, opened in 1999)
2005 - Denver (Pepsi Center, opened in 1999)
2006 - Houston (Toyota Center, opened in 2003)
2007 - Las Vegas (Thomas & Mack, logistics test for potential NBA franchise)
2008 - New Orleans (New Orleans Arena, Hurricane Katrina)
2009 - Phoenix (US Airways Center, ????)

As you can see, most All-Star Games are rewards for all the public dollars spent on new/improved arenas. So why would Phoenix get an NBA All-Star Game in their older arena before cities like Memphis (FedExForum, opened in 2004) or Charlotte (Charlotte Bobcats Arena, opened in 2005) or even San Antonio (AT&T Center, opened in 2002)? Why?

There's one simple answer:

The 2007 NBA playoffs and Tim Donaghy. As I wrote back in July:

As many of you already know, Donaghy refereed game 3 of the Western Conference Semifinals between the Spurs and Suns. At the time, many watching the game felt something wasn't quite right about the officiating. Add in Amare's suspension and you get the feeling that the Spurs didn't earn their victory over Phoenix, but were rather handed the title.

Giving Phoenix the 2009 NBA All-Star Game is David Stern's way of buying off the Suns' silence regarding all the crap they put up with during the 2007 Western Conference Semifinals against the Spurs. Call me crazy (as many Spurs fans have... Dave!), but I really can't come up with any other reason why the NBA chose Phoenix (outside of Robert Sarver going Olympic Committee on Stern and hiring a year supply of hookers). With this year's Super Bowl and the Fiesta Bowl, it's not like Phoenix is starving for major sporting events. Maybe Stern prefers cigarette smokers, 115 degree heat and melanoma.

All I'm sayin' is that this seems strange.