Shane Battie and his 1,300 Statistical Categories Still Equal a Loss

By Craig Kwasniewski 

The Rockets lost to the Lakers 93-81 last night despite Shane Battier's quintuple-double with 11 tips, 15 deflections, 10 block outs, 17 run downs, 13 crash outs, 19 keepers, 16 blow byes, 18 lock downs, 13 close ins, 14 points and 27 blocked rebounds... and every other stat that the Houston Rockets front office uses to justify having a player with limited offensive skills, limited athleticism, who works hard on both ends of the floor and has above average defensive ability. Do we need endless podcasts, magazine articles and web posts to point out the brilliance of the stats that Houston uses for Battier? Do we really need to quantify all the "little things" that Battier does? Hey what ever happened to quantifying the big things? What ever happened to the big picture, like wins or losses? 

Here's a clue: the job of each and every NBA GM is to keep his job. So OF COURSE they need to create stats all to justify their actions good or bad... but it's not brilliance, it's just stats. And given that the Rockets have not advanced in the playoffs since 1997 well it's high time to create more stats for the likes of Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady, two players who have made a career of postseason incompetence. 

And hey guys, I majored as an engineer at Purdue University and I use mathematics on a daily basis so I'm pretty sure I can hold my own with all the statistical devotees. Here's a simple stat for Battie: 5 wins and 20 losses in the playoffs... Nuff said!

Comments

[Meraj]

Yeah...a degree from PurdueU is fine. But you shouldn't even be talking since I'm sure you cant play basketball for crap. Try atleast playing the game for once before you start ripping on other teams. Try to atleast get at SOMEWHAT level of Shane Battier's D. I dont know what it is about you and the Rockets whom you keep ripping on...Whats the problem with you? I know we all hate some teams but you?? You dont stop talking trash about the Rockets...Theyre a proper team..they just dont perform well in the Playoffs..yeah so? Im sure some teams in the NBA would LOVE to atleast be a winning team like Houston. And this is coming from a non-Houston native anyway...I'm just a guy who appreciates the sport a lot...You maybe need to start doing that too and appreciate these athletes who put on a great show for their fans.

[Jimmy]

And furthermore, without a gift from David Stern and Chris Wallace, the Lakers would be considerably behind the Rockets in the standings.

[Jimmy]

And even furthermore, if you are going to rip Shane Battier, at least spell his name right. "Intelligent NBA Commentary"? Yeah right.

[Meraj]

yea this craig kwasniewski is a froot

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