By Craig Kwasniewski
There's officially no reason whatsoever to watch a New Jersey Nets game at Continental Airlines Arena. Vince Carter is mailing it in, Richard Jefferson is injured, the Nets are 22-24 in the Tank Division and...
the New Jersey Nets have a geriatric dance team to entertain the fans!?!
The NETSational Seniors, a group of post-60 year-olds, made their debut last night against the Pistons. The Nets propaganda All-Access Quarterly sums up the experience:
There's always something about watching the older folk dance on the big screen during a sporting event that always catches the eyes and attention of just about everyone in attendance.
Yeah if it's Freaky Fetish Night. Anyway, the Nets had an open audition with Johnny Sack as a celebrity judge. (BTW - Do they just roll out a Sopranos celebrity to every event in New Jersey? "Cutting the ribbon to the Teaneck Abortion Clinic, it's Carlo Gervasi from the Sopranos!!!")
Since I have nothing more do say on the subject, I'll have Cal from The 40 Year Old Virgin put some thoughts in your head the next time you see The NETSational Seniors.
"You can fuck her while watching "Murder, She Wrote". She'll like that."
"You should fuck her and then have her send you $12 on your birthday."
"That's a good looking grandma! My grandma looks like Jack Palace...If Jack Palace looked like that lady I would want to fuck Jack Palace right now."
the nets just want to make sure jayzee stays with beyonce until they have the new arena in brooklyn ready !
Posted by: NIKEY | February 01, 2007 at 01:26 PM
the nets need to attract the d.o.m*.too , ya know !
* dirty old men .
Posted by: coach | February 01, 2007 at 02:14 PM
iI heard the NETS senior dance team members have great medical benefits. Among these :
1.free hip replacement.
2. free denture
3. free botox
Posted by: Nets | February 01, 2007 at 02:44 PM
Are you F'ing kidding me. That is the worst idea ever. At least you could og gotten 60 yrs old ex playboy playmates or something.
Posted by: Dan | February 02, 2007 at 11:09 AM
Sadly, this isn't limited to just the Nets. Other teams (such as the Bulls with their "Swingin' Seniors") are doing it too. It seems to be the latest trend in "Game Night Entertainment," right behind a group of dancing fat guys (for the "chubby chaser" demographic) and dancing 8-year-olds (for the pedophile demographic). Now what I want to know is this: when do we get the "Hot Dancers Making Out" entertainment segment, catering to the "dudes who like watching hot chicks make out" demographic?!
Posted by: basketbawful | February 02, 2007 at 11:46 AM
The Bulls have Swingin' Seniors? So is half of the United Center filled with soccer/safety moms? I can't see anyone else wanting to watch that shit. Ed Nealy just rolled over in his grave.
"Hot Dancers Making Out" a guaranteed sell-out, even when Portland comes to town.
Posted by: Craig | February 02, 2007 at 12:22 PM
You know, the UC is filled mostly with 20 and 30-something peeps just looking for a good time. For the most part, the only entertainment that people pay any attention to are the dancers and the dudes who throw out the free t-shirts. Okay, the fat guys get a few laughs, but...heh, heh...fat guys *are* pretty funny. Uh, where was I? Oh, yeah. The rest of that stuff, it just gets ignored.
Here's another strange anomoly from Bulls games. In the 4th quarter, they always pull out the "Kiss Cam," where they show some couple on the Jumbotron and expect them to kiss. The dudes *never* want to kiss their girlfriends. It's bizarre. It's like every guy they pan to is cheating on his girlfriend and wants to play off the fact that he's there with another girl.
Posted by: basketbawful | February 02, 2007 at 01:26 PM
That's funny about the "Kiss Cam." At Laker games they do the same thing except that it's the women that never want to kiss the men. It's like they're embarassed to be caught at a Laker game or something.
Fortunately, the Lakers don't have any freak dance squad (old, young or fat), the only other nighly entertainment is the "Bubble Cam" which distorts people's faces on the jumbotron. It's a huge hit. (There's not much sophistication with Laker fans, they just want to chant whatever two syllable name out there. "Ed-die, Ed-die" (Jones, still a big favorite) They never took to "O-Neal, O-Neal," maybe the apostrophe confused them)
Posted by: Craig | February 04, 2007 at 11:13 PM
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