It's A Ball

by Brett Edwards

We have our answer to yesterday's question of "what's in the box." Turns out that it wasn't the secret agreement between Stern and Wade, weapons of mass destruction, or Pat Riley's head. As Craig and I guessed, it's a new game ball.

The features of the new ball include "a new design and a new material that together offer better grip, feel, and consistency than the current leather ball," as well as "moisture management that provides superior grip and feel throughout the course of a game."

Whatever. Funniest part of the press release is where they assure us that the ball has been tested thoroughly, by using it in All Star Weekend activities, and the fact that "NBA retired players Steve Kerr and Mark Jackson participated in testing the new ball as well."

Oh good, with Mark Jackson testing it we can see how the ball will perform when handled by an overweight point guard who makes crosses to praise God during game play, and with Kerr testing it we know that the ball handles well when used by a slow white guy who can't dribble and just jacks up 3s. Hell, if that was the criteria, they might as well have had me test it.

Comments

[basketbawful]

I haven't been this disappointed since...I found out what was in that bowl in the Heat's locker room. They might as well have had Geraldo Rivera open the box.

[Craig]

I agree... I haven't been this disappointed since I found out there was no sex in the champagne room...

Oh but there's champagne in the champagne room!

[basketbawful]

Without revealing too much, I should note that it depends entirely on which champagne room you end up in.

[Pimp Dice]

They might as well have had the Phoenix Suns Gorilla jizz on a paper plate and then wad it up and casually toss it over its shoulder into the box. But if that was the case, they never should have even opened the damn thing.

I havn't been this dissapointed since the McFlurry ripped off the Blizzard.

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Back in time there has been some fading. But not defective.

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