Breakfast At Staples: Courtside

by Brett Edwards

Better late than never. A few days ago we were courtside for the Wizards' visit to L.A. to play the Clippers. I use the term "play" very loosely, as the Wizards really didn't show up for this one. The Clippers jumped out to a 12-point 1st quarter lead, and led by as many as 25 in the 3rd en route to an easy 15-point win.

There are a few reasons why we weren't as excited about this game as we were at our previous courtside appearances. As I mentioned, the Wiz didn't show up at all. Blame it on Arenas being from L.A. and the fact that he probably went out hookering with his teammates until all hours the night before. Combine that with the 1230pm start time, and it was really hard to get into the game. This happens a few times a year because the Clippers are actually the 3rd priority on the arena scheduling list, behind the Lakers and the L.A. Kings, who play this obscure sport on ice skates that no one gives a rat's ass about. ANYWAY (as Klosterman would say), the early tip time usually results in Clipper victories (they're used to it) and fan apathy (it takes until halftime for the arena to fill up and the fans to get into the game).

My brother Todd Theman (pronounced "the man") also rolled to the game with us, and he is basically a non-stop one man comedy show, so any event that you attend with him automatically takes a back seat to your conversations with him. This is not a bad thing, and in fact during the 2nd quarter we were entertained by a long and funny story about a girl he made out with and had a few other encounters with who looked a lot like Lisa Loeb. The punchline is that he figured out 3 weeks later that it actually was her.

Oh I almost forgot. Traffic in downtown L.A. on Saturday morning was an absolute BITCH, thanks to 500,000 angry and mostly illegal immigrants protesting some proposed new immigration laws. I actually left a game that I was sitting courtside at with 6 minutes left to avoid the traffic nightmare that was sure to follow.

So what have we learned from this? Pass on tickets to 1230pm Clipper games at Staples. Try to avoid going to downtown L.A. during large political protests. And most importantly, if you are ever at a private event at an L.A. club and you find yourself hanging with a girl who looks like a celebrity, you should probably figure out that she's the person she looks like sooner rather than later.

Comments

[basketbawful]

Well, you've got to remember, Gilbert is an "Eastern Conference Assassin." He promised to bring it against other Eastern Conference teams, but not once did he vow revenge against the West. When you're busy beating up on the Bulls, Hawks, and Raptors of the world, you don't have much left for teams like the Clippers. Plus, we can't be certain Gilbert reads the newspaper. He may not have realized that the Clips are a legitimate playoff team this year...he might just have assumed they sucked, as usual.

[Brett]

What about Arenas dropping 40 points and 10 assists on Golden State last night? He definitely assassinated the Warriors. You might be right about him not knowing that the Clips are for real this year, but I'm chalking up Saturday's loss to the early start time.

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