The Association

NBA Dead Pool

by Craig Kwasniewski

According to the LA Times on Tuesday, "Ronny Turiaf is closer than anyone expected to becoming a member of the Lakers this season." The guy had open heart surgery to repair an enlarged aortic root a few months ago and he may be ready to play this season? Whatever. With the potential rush to judgement, the early lines for the NBA Dead Pool 2006 are up. Here are a few of them:

Ronnie Turiaf - 5:1: Unless you are a porn star, an enlarged aortic root just sounds awful. Plus, Mitch Kupchak added, "To date, the [medical] results have been very encouraging." Believe me, Kupchak saying that things are encouraging IS the kiss of death. The line dropped down from 10:1 as a result.

Eddy Curry - 10:1: The line is rising, but it doesn't mean that his survival rate will. The guy missed the the playoffs last year because of irregular heart beat. A telling sign: the insurance company that underwrites NBA player contracts has decided against insuring Eddy Curry due to his heart condition. Add in the pressure cooker that is the New York media with Larry Brown pushing him hard. This guy is almost a lock.

Quentin Richardson - 20:1: His stock is rising, this has not been a good year for the guy. First off, he is shipped from the most entertaining team of the decade (Phoenix Suns 2004-05) to the slow-it-down slug-it-out Larry Brown style of play. He's forced to play under the microscope of the New York media. The guy's engagement to singer and future cruise ship entertainer Brandy ended at the beginning of the season. Last week, brother Lee Richardson, 31, was shot and killed outside the family's Chicago home during a robbery. Finally, there's the potential for extended depression if teammate Eddy Curry drops dead during the season. Watch out for a Ricky Berry situation.

Pat Riley - 100:1: Was off the board a week ago, but now is a sleeper. Experiencing a typical Antoine Walker 2-17 game may cause a heart attack alone. Mix in the frustration with Shaquille O'Blob mailing it in until the second round of the playoffs; plus Jason Williams killing the half-court game with ill-advised three's and ZERO defense; and add the inevitable Gary Payton blow-up and Riles is a solid pick. Added bonus: you can kiss that bizarre slicked-back, highlighted mullet that Riles had in the summer good-bye.

Shareef Abdur-Rahim - 500:1: Steadily dropping, but don't forget this: He's playing in hell's version of hell, Sacramento. The guy is in his 11th season and has never played in the post season. Not once! And Sac-town is even sitting behind the Lakers in the standings. The guy is the NBA version of death. Four franchises, zero contention, no future.

Rockets Blast Off To Vegas

by Brett Edwards

One of the great things about the NBA is the not-so-secret party lifestyle of the athletes. Most are suckers for strip clubs, gambling, and hookering. Enter the Houston Rockets, who last week had a game Thursday night in Sacramento, and then nothing to do until their game Sunday night in Portland. I know! Why not take the team to Vegas for a couple of days?

Great idea, guys. Except that it violates the league's collective bargaining agreement, which prohibits teams from giving players anything that could be considered a benefit that's not in their contract. Why not just give the players a couple of days off, and have them meet up in Vegas on their own to avoid the fine? Stories like this are not helping the idea of the league putting a team in Vegas. If all of the players show up hung over and *ahem* "depleted" for the All-Star Game in 2007, that will be the end of that. I just wish I could see Yao at the craps table.

Nice Win for the Lakers

by Brett Edwards

Kobe Bryant and the rest of the Lakers played out of their minds tonight to get a nice road victory at Dallas. It was big for the Lakers, because with winning 4 of their last 5, they're guaranteed to finish the 6-game road trip with a winning record. They are also progressing under Phil Jackson, which is more important for the team's larger goal of making the post-season. As for how this happened, there are reasons why on both sides.

Why the Lakers won: Kobe, as mentioned before, played like Michael Jordan and Dr. J combined. He started the game on fire, hitting 7 of his first 10 shots, and finishing the game with a ridiculous reverse layup along the baseline, followed later by a 30-foot-fade-away-three-pointer-as-the-shot-clock-expired-with-a-man "right in his grill" as the Dallas announcer would say. Kobe finished with 43 points. The Lakers were also the beneficiary of Kwame Brown being possessed by the ghost of Karl Malone. Kwame was getting the ball in the post, and making quick, strong, and decisive moves to the basket, every time resulting in points. Kwame went 6-6 from the field for a season best 12 points.

Why Dallas lost: This is the first time in almost three weeks that the Mavs had their starting lineup playing together. This was Josh Howard's first game back after missing two weeks with an ankle injury. His season averages are 15 and 7, and tonight he was only able to go 12 minutes for 4 and 3. Also, this was Jet Terry's second game back from missing a few games, and he's not quite himself yet only getting 20 points in 38 minutes on 5-13 shooting. Combine these two things, and it explains why the Mavs were completely out of sync on both ends of the floor. DAL was especially weak on D this game. With Terry and Howard out, the Mavs held Indiana to 75 points and Memphis to 83 points, both on the road. Tonight they gave up 109 to the Lakers on 50% shooting from the field, including 58 points in the first half.

Overall, nice win for the Lakers, and not so bad of a loss for the Mavs, considering the chemistry issues and the Kobe and Kwame show. The Mavs remain the second best team in the West, and the Lakers get over .500 and keep the positive vibe going on this road trip.

The Return of Riley

by Brett Edwards and Craig Kwasniewski

To the surprise of no one, Pat Riley has returned to coach the Miami Heat for at least the rest of this season. The rumors of this happening started in the off-season, when Riles stated on the record that he wanted to become "more involved" in the team's day-to-day operations. YAYSports! has a funny liveblog of the press conference, check it out.

Pat Riley is a total prick. He ran this team into the ground, going from 52 wins in 2000 to 50 in '01, 36 in '02, and 25 in '03. He then started the 2003-04 season by bailing on the team right before the season started, leaving Van Gundy to clean up the mess. And clean it up he did, finishing with a winning 42-40 record and the 4 seed in the East. In his second season, Stan Van Jeremy led the team to within one game of the NBA Finals, and some would argue (not I) that they would have won the game 7 with a totally healthy Dwyane Wade. Now, he appears to have been forced out (no way we're believing the "time with my family" crap) to make way for Riley's ego to run the show.

Speaking of last year's game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals, remember Shaq's not-so-subtle comments about Stan's coaching? How they surely would have won had he gotten the ball more? Be careful what you wish for, fat man. Riley is known for 3-hour practices, a slow-it-down half court offense, being overly stressed out, and micro-managing games with too many time outs. This is not Phil Jackson. Riles will not stroke your ego for not playing defense and not rebounding. Riles is a game-to-game coach and not a season coach like Jackson. Meaning that, Jackson will lose games in November, December, and January as long as the team grows as a unit. Just look at how well the Lakers, WITH ABSOLUTELY NO TALENT, are playing now. They lost some really bad games early, but Profit, Cook and other bullshit players are now contributing.

Riley will not put up with these early losses. They have already lost 10 out of their first 21 games, and are 8 games back in the loss column behind the 15-2 Pistons for home court advantage. The question is, will Riley snap when Antoine Walker goes 2-17, J-Will takes running 3-pointers and plays no defense, and Shaq mails it in until April? Maybe, maybe not, but either way this team is in for a real awakening.

Zip it Ron!

by Craig Kwasniewski

Ron Artest stunned the Indiana Pacers on Saturday by requesting to be traded, telling the Indianapolis Star that he believes the team would be better off without him.

In the immortal words of President Dale (Jack Nicholson) from Mars Attacks"Shut-Up, shut-up, shut-up....."

I really appreciate your ability to "speak your mind" and "keep it real", but don't you have to come off a little bit contrite before you demand forgiveness? I still believe people will remember your actions because you are so adept at reminding us of them.

Look Ron, we live in a very forgivable society. If you admit your mistake and make an effort to amend it, we will forgive and move on. Just ask all of New York City about Latrell Spreewell in 1999. The guy was a God for taking (with an assist from the Commish) the Knicks to the NBA Finals.

Take away the non-basketball bullshit and Ron Artest is truly a throwback. The guy plays hard every minute of every game. You appreciate the defensive intensity and the sheer will on the offensive side of the court. The blue collar style of play is nice to see especially during the slow months of November -December. Most players (Shaq, Vince Carter) mail it in during the regular season, but Artest brings his A game every night.

Listen to your advisors; play hard, play well and take the Pacers far in the post season. If you just shut up and play for just one freakin' season, the fans will forgive and forget.

Clippers vs. Pistons: Courtside Report

by Brett Edwards

Tonight I was fortunate enough to sit courtside for the Pistons' visit to Staples Center to face the Clippers. Keep in mind that this is not the eBay version of courtside, where people will put that in the listing just to get you to look at their tickets, but actually first row on the floor. Not as many random things happened as the last time I was this close, but it was a good chance to see the Pistons up close.

Overall, this was not that great of a game. The Pistons pretty much dominated from start to finish, and the Clippers in fact never had the lead. I pretty much knew going in that there was no way the Clips could beat DET without Corey Maggette, (still out with that sprained foot), because DET is taking the early months of this season seriously, which is rare for a veteran team. (see: Miami Heat and Shaq)

The game got interesting in the 4th quarter, with LAC down 12 with like 5 minutes left. Mike Dunleavy decided to employ the genius "hack-a-Ben" strategy, which means that the Clips would foul Ben Wallace away from the ball on every possession, just to get him and his 50% free-throw shooting to the line. As a former Laker season ticket holder and bandwagon jumper, I saw this used on Shaq a few times, and it never worked. Because of this I had to explain the rules and what was going on to the people around me, which was very funny. Tonight, this ploy actually worked! Ben Wallace was parading to the line with the clock stopped and missing free throws! Well, that is to say, it would have worked, except the Clippers couldn't get the rebounds of the missed free throws to save their lives. One of the offensive rebounds resulted in a "game over" 3-pointer from Chauncey Billups.

The "game within the game" while this was going on was extremely entertaining. After like the third time Wallace was fouled, he was shaking his head, and Sam Cassell went up and started some good-natured trash talking with him, basically saying "hey, if you don't like it, make your free throws!" Then Ben would miss the first, and Sam would try to go and say a few more words to him before he shot the second. Very funny stuff, especially when Chauncey Billups saw this and then wouldn't let Sam get over to Ben between shots, telling him "get the fuck out of here" with a big smile. Absolutely hilarious to see the veteran gamesmanship going on.

As for Detroit, they are now 10-1 on the road this season, which is freaking ridiculous. They are basically playing to say F-U to Larry Brown, trying to show everyone that the players are the reason for their success, not the coaching. Watching Flip "coach" the team is amusing. These guys have played together for several years now, and basically Flip is there to make substitutions and call the occasional timeout. Most of all, he is there not to fuck things up for a team that was one game away from winning the title last year. The way DET is executing on offense and playing their trademark brand of defense, they should end up back in the Finals at season's end.

Week In Review

In case you missed it, here's a look back at some of our favorite posts from the past week.

- Hear what it's like to be on the floor for an NBA game

Odd Time At The Clip Joint

- A good argument as to why bald coaches aren't as successful

Bring Back the Combover!

- An introduction to a new star player in Los Angeles

The Rise of Modo Ramal

- See if you can translate Dirk Nowitzki's sense of humor to English

Mavs Ringtones For Your Cell Phone

- Find out what Laker fans should have against Shaq

Why Laker Fans Should Hate Shaq

If you want more, click here for the rest of our posts from this week.