By Craig Kwasniewski and Brett Edwards
Time for another edition of Monday Morning Point Guard - NFL Edition, for clarification, Brett is in italics.
1. Denny Green should never coach in the NFL ever again! All the Raiders had to do was lose this week and they were guaranteed a 0-16 team. The best part was hearing all the Raider players react to the potential 0-16 questions. Warren Sapp was talking about pulling a TO and slitting his wrists. Funny as hell!
I know it was you Fredo Denny. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!
2. The first question I'd ask Denny Green in the press conference, "So were the Raiders who you thought they were?"
3. Four words that Steeler fans do not want to hear, "Here comes Charlie Batch!" Actually he played pretty well against ATL yesterday. I give it two weeks before he realizes, "Hey I'm Charlie Batch!" and flings three interceptions is a blowout loss.
4. My solution to the immobile Art Shell factor: Laminate a menu from a Chinese Restaurant. You know one of those that you order by the numbers, so it kind of looks like a playbook. So between every play he looks down at say "#101 - Kung Pao Chicken" or "# 67 - Cantonese Beef" and turns to nobody and yells "Number 101!!!" Suddenly you'll hear the likes of Joe Theisman saying how great a game that Shell is calling.
5. Killer stat for my fantasy football team. Ronde Barber has more touchdowns (2) than Tiki Barber (0).
6. A HUGE high-five to the TB kicker for his game-winning 62-yard field goal. This killed all of the "McNabb willed the Eagles to victory" talk and the impending media circle-jerk over the guy. That last touchdown by Philly was the worst defensive effort of this season. Westbrook took a 5-yard dink pass the distance after breaking (and you counted them with me) FIVE tackles. That play had NOTHING to do with Donovan McNabb! This is the second straight week that McNabb started off slowly, not a good trend.
7. Hey so can we postpone the whole "Steelers are back!" talk. Feel free to beat a few quality teams before you mail them the back-to-back Lombardi Trophies. Also, feel free to play a little defense.
8. Overrated and annoying trend in the NFL: icing the kicker with a timeout. Unless the 2002 Sacramento Kings are kicking a field goal, the extra time "to think about the kick" mostly never works. The only time it did was because Bill Cowher called a TO as the ball was snapped (CHEATER!!!) and the refs called off a made FG by the ATL kicker. Replays showed that Cowher was even with the snap and the refs shouldn't reward such bullshit.
9. Here's my question of the week: At the end of the first half of the IND-WAS game, the Redskins defensive player got whistled for tackling the QB too low, when it was obvious that he was dragged into a flopping Peyton Manning. Vlade Divac had an orgasm at the site of Manning's flop. So Indy gets 15 yard off the personal foul and drives for a momentum-changing touchdown.
Yet somehow in the MIN-SEA game, the Vikings defensive player literally rolls into Hassleback's knee, ending his game and possibly his season. No penalty called and Hassleback is out of the game. SEA gets blown out on a momentum changing injury.
How many more seasons will we have to put up with the NFL giving the Colts wins? Seriously, what's their appeal? We all know Manning will find a way to choke in the playoffs, so why even bother giving these guys wins.
10. Just what the hell happened to JAX? 20 entries in our knock-out pool took them (including myself) and they lose to the second worst franchise in the NFL! If Byron Leftwich was broken, then sit out the damn game. Instead we got JAX running East Coast Martyball. HOU has one of the worst defenses in the game and still JAX had to punt seven times. And yes, I AM bitter that I lost for the first time in the knock-out pool.
11. Finally, the Cardinals suck! You broke my heart Denny!
By Craig Kwasniewski and Brett Edwards
Time for another edition of MMPG. For clarification, Brett is in italics.
1. Nice to see that the Denver Broncos have become the 2005 Bears. Awesome defense, kill the clock on offense, minimize turnovers by the QB and win 13-10 every week. But since the AFC is the weaker conference this will be enough to get to the Championship Game (and a banner if your Indy).
The Broncos are basically just doing the bare minimum against sub-par competition (KC, OAK) and saving their energy for the tougher teams (NE and BAL). Next week at CLE you'll see more of the same, but then they play IND, PIT, SEA, and SD twice. That's rough for 5 out of the last 11. I expect the offense to get loose at some point though.
2. The "well what else did you expect when your dressed like a whore" award goes to Troy Polamalu for FINALLY getting tackled by the hair. Larry Johnson is now one of my favorite RB's ever! Though it is very ironic that Larry Johnson of all people yanked Polamalu down given that he became the exorcist last week on a break-away.
LMAO at the Exorcist line...and YES that was great to see. There's a guy on the Niners that is starting the same thing with the hair out the helmet, but his looks more like a pubic bush than anything else. It must be a Samoan thing, because that guy's name is like Umepupumaloa or something.
3. Speaking of the Steelers, let's not start "The Steelers are Back!!!" stories yet. They beat a KC Chief team at home with Damon Huard at QB. And what is more overrated, Jerome Bettis's personality or the Steelers trick play arsenal?
Steelers are a weird team, very up and down. But with BAL and CIN losing yesterday they're only a game out in the division! So they're not back but they still may be a factor before the season's done.
4. Reason Number 1,891 why he should change his name from Joey to Joe: Actually said by Phil Simms during the MIA-NYJ game regarding Joey Harrington, "He talks about playing for the Miami Dolphins over what he did with the Detroit Lions... what they do with the Dolphins suits him so much better. He wants to be a system quarterback. 'Tell me what to do, I'm not real good at ad-libbing, you know running with the ball and making plays.'"
Nice of you to pull the sensitive QB angle, Joey, and open up to us... but you may want to instill some confidence from your teammates by being confident in yourself!
5. A mighty middle finger goes out to Cincinnati, Washington and Buffalo. I was hoping to see a two or three 0-8's at the halfway point of the season, y'all let me down big time, especially D.C. You lost to a 0-5 team that ran the ball down your throats. "Eight in a box" is not another term for gang bang. Feel free to stop the run on a team with ZERO passing game.
heh heh...gang bang...
6. Cincinnati is learning what Portland learned a few years ago. Live by the thugs, die by the thugs. A borderline roughing the passer call kept Tampa Bay's game winning drive alive. Even if it wasn't the right call, Cincinnati's reputation got the call.
7. Carson Palmer may have one of the best passing arms in the game, but he still has trouble managing the clock. Stop taking sacks during the 2-minute drill!!! This week it happened at the end of the first half, and as my starting QB on my fantasy team, I'm worried that the Carson Palmer Project will screw me out of some points with all the sacks that he takes.
Cincy's looking like a fraud...the joke about the Madden curse extending to everyone in the commercials too is seeming like a reality, remember the one with Chad Johnson falling into the end zone? He looks broken, and they aren't running the ball like they did last year.
8. Owen's three TD's, I guess all is well!!! (waiting three seconds) NOT! (okay I broke out my material from 1994, but it's appropriate here) Three TD's against the Houston Texans does not count. This is the team that passed on Reggie Bush for crissake! Let's see what Dallas does on October 29th at Carolina... On Football Night in America on NBC with NFL funny-man Jerome Bettis!!!
Agree that Owens scoring TDs against the second worst team in the league isn't fixing anything in Dallas. In fact, I'm going to try to trade him off of my fantasy team this week while his stock is high.
9. Didn't it seem like Andrew IN---COM---PLETE!!! Walter had more than 13 incomplete passes? (That's the best IN---COM---PLETE!!! that I could think of. The other one was, "So I see that the Raiders went to their 4th string QB las night, Walter IN---COM---PLETE!!!")
10. So are the Saints for real or is Dick Bavetta reffing all their games? Impressive win against PHI, but the slow start could be attributed to the letdown factor after last week's emotion win over DAL. Still, NO keeps beating quality opponents.
Genius of the Saints to run out the clock before kicking the FG, not giving D-Mac a chance to win the game...with the way he's playing this year, you definitely don't want him having the ball with a chance to win, you'll regret it.
Fantasy football drama tonight. I'm up by 22 points, but the guy I'm playing has the Bears D, which has scored 21 and 22 each of the last two weeks. Needless to say, I'm worried! Game prediction: CHI 37 ARI 13, Bears D scores...21 and I get the W by a point!
My prediction: CHI 27 - AZ 9
By Craig Kwasniewski and Brett Edwards
Time for another edition of MMPG. For clarification, Brett is in italics.
1. "You gotta be fucking kidding me!"
After one of Bledsoe's interceptions, TO was caught saying this on the sidelines to one of the Dallas coaches, followed by the predictible Joe Buck/Troy Aikmen exchange:
"It's a tired act isn't it," Said Aikmen.
"It just continues, doesn't matter what uniform he's wearing."
Look I'm not a T.O. fan by any means, but I have to agree with T.O. after this one. Bledsoe just threw a pass 10-yards short of T.O. into triple coverage. What the hell was Bledsoe thinking? So what was T.O. supposed to do?
Are you talking about that pass that was picked on the 10-yard line? That should have been a touchdown, and yes was short armed by a good 5 yards. AND on that play, Bledsoe actually had time to make the throw, unlike most of the rest of the day when he was running for his life. Bottom line for the Cowboys is that they need much better O-line play or they will continue to see sacks and interceptions, because Bledsoe has ZERO mobility. Which is why Tony Romo may be a better option this season. He's not better than Bledsoe, but he's almost as good and way more mobile, and considering the lack of pass protection it may be the way to go.
2. BTW – The DAL-PHI was NOT a good game. Three turnovers in the first 5 possessions. Bledsoe killing Dallas drives by taking sacks and throwing int's, and they still had a chance to send the game into OT because of a stupid pass interference on a fourth down and 99 play for Dallas. Which is more overrated? The NFC East or our success in the Iraqi War?
YES that conference is overrated (East coast bias), but it was actually as exciting a game as you can ask for! Not extremely well played (lots of turnovers), but lead changes, long pass plays for TDs, and DAL even pulled a 4th and like 28 out of their ass and had a chance to tie at the end! Seemed pretty exciting to me.
3. Is Brian Griese the new Jim Sorgi? Here's the big difference between the media's favorite team, the Indy Colts and the Chicago Bears: The past three seasons Indy kept Peyton in the entire game, running up the score trying to improve their BCS ranking. The Bears, knowing that the championships are won in January, rested their starters as soon as possible. So instead of gaudy Indy numbers, you get closer games.
Um, closer games like 40-7???? Please Bears fan. Let's see CHI rest all of their DEFENSIVE starters as well, then we'll talk.
You got me there... but still 40-7 and clearing the bench for the fourth quarter.
4. Speaking of Indy, they are a seriously flawed team. They BARELY beat one of the worst teams, starting the second worst QB in the NFL and at home. IND has no running game, can't stop the run and their special teams coverage is HORRIBLE. Yet, still people will talk about Peyton rallying his team to victory. This will all come back to haunt them against quality opponents.
Well, I agree that IND has problems, but as bad as they played they still got the W. So while the media will continue to fillate Peyton Manning, real NFL fans know that the Colts have a lot of work to do to get through the rest of the AFC.
5. The NFL needs to start tracking turnovers that lead directly to TD's. Who would lead the league? Drew Bledsoe, Jon Kitna or Brett Farvre?
Probably Favre, but more importantly this needs to be trackable for Fantasy purposes! It would be great to give a QB negative 9 points for a pick (-3) that leads to a TD (-6). They really need to come up with a way to track this.
6. Speaking of Kitna, I guess God is a Vikings fan. How else do you explain the Jake Plummer-like turnovers. The one off a sack that led to a TD can happen to anyone, but the falling down flip to the DB with the game on the line was inexcusable! Will this lead to a Kitna questioning his faith? Does he denounce God and go on cocaine and stripper bender? Just once, I'd like to see these God-guys loose it and fall off the wagon. Just once!
7. BTW – The Indianapolis Colts have an "AFC Finalist" banner! During a timeout in the TEN-IND game they were talking about the Colts recent success and showing all the banners and suddenly I saw it…WOW!!! Talk about embracing failure! They should pull a Utah Jazz and put Manning's grill on a banner with his playoff record under it.
Speaking of timeouts, did you see the DirecTV commercial at halftime, the one where IND is beating TEN like 28-3, and Manning is telling you to get DirecTV so you don't have to watch the rest of the blowout? Freaking hilarious when the actual halftime score was TEN up 10-0! I bet Jeff Fisher played that thing on an endless loop all week to get his team ready.
8. Holly Kordell Stewart batman, does Vince Young suck!!! For the first time in NFL history, a player received more compliments than passing yards. His numbers were: 10 of 21 with 63 yards passing and 1 INT and that didn't explain it all. With roughly 14 seconds left and driving the for a field goal to win, Young (with zero timeouts) scrambles for 12 yards rolling out of bounds. The play takes the clock down to 2 seconds with the ball at TEN's 40 yard-line, basically sealing the game for IND. Instead of pointing out that TEN could have thrown the ball twice in the same time span, Young is being praised for his veteran moxie. Umm, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't the ball travel faster in the air than on the ground?
9. As you know, I took NE in the knockout pool and I was seriously worried about my chances when I saw that Culpepper was not starting for MIA. That was until I saw Joey Harrington line up under center and started spraying around INT's… easy money. Besides the Raiders, is there a more sorry QB situation in the league than MIA?
First of all, believe it or not a healthy Harrington is way better than a broken Daunte. Second, I talked to you during that game and you were gripping a little when it was only 13-10. And as you know, I had IND in the pool so I was gripping a little more, especially when Manning threw a pick in the red zone midway through the 4th. I'm living a charmed life in that pool with TWO one-point wins in 5 weeks.
10. That Reggie Bush runback was OVER-RATED!! All he did was run to where the wall was set up and sprint untouched to the end zone! YES he's fast, but he didn't make one move or break a single tackle on the entire run. The credit should go to the blockers on that one, not to Bush. Hell, I could've ran down the sidelines with a wall set up like that...
11. The Raiders are headed for 0-16!!! I thought they had a chance against SF, especially after KC ROLLED SF 41-0 last week. SF was even trying to give the game to OAK after failing on not one but two fourth and inches in the redzone. And still the Raiders got killed by possibly the fourth worst team in the NFL (OAK, TEN, DET). The DEN better not be the first team to lose to OAK next week!
DEN will not lose to OAK. Shanahan hates the Raiders, and will never let that happen. The Raiders still have a home game against HOU later this season, so that might be their one win. But for all intents and purposes, is there anything better than Raiderfan having to deal with their team being the WORST in the league? Now we know why they all wear costumes to their home games, it's because they're embarrassed to be seen there. Monday night prediction: DEN 20, BAL 6.
I agree with that. BAL is very overrated!
By Craig Kwasniewski and Brett Edwards
Time for another edition of MMPG. For clarification, Brett is in italics.
1. What the hell was MIA doing running a trick play for a potential game tying 2-point conversion? They ran a RB option pass for the conversion! Obviously the pass fell incomplete. Is Sarge calling the plays? What happened to Nick Saban? Wasn't he the next great head coach? Now he's stuck with Dante Culpepper and Sarge's Madden 2003 playbook.
BTW - Sarge is our friend Dan. He's the one guy that everyone knows who constantly runs gadget plays on Madden. He'll run a first quarter punt fake at his own 15-yard line on a 4th and 25, which works 1 out of 100 times. Of course that one time is against me.
2. Props to the NYJ for actually running the old Stanford-Cal kickoff return play. Most coaches pass on that type of return and the game ends with a squib kick going to a lineman that falls on the ball. They almost pulled it off.
That was cool, but not as cool as 4th and Goal from the 3 in a tie game and not kicking a field goal...that's ridiculous. Worse was the pick in the end zone on the play, which gave the Colts the ball at the 20 instead of the 3! If you're going to go for it (which was stupid), your QB can't throw a pick! Whatever, as long as Manning has all day to throw the ball (read: NO pass rush), the Colts will pretty much be winning every game...until the playoffs of course.
Thumbs down to going for it. Like you said, take the points against a team like Indy. Instead, they went for the TD on fourth down, with a QB sprint out play that eliminates half the field! Bad choice and bad play selection!
3. Are the Bears for real? What's the ESPN generated excuse for the Bears not being good this week: No Shaun Alexander? Home game on national TV was far more important to the Bears than SEA. West coast teams traveling east. SEA letdown over such an asswhooping over the NYG.
SEA looked good on the first drive and then the Bears defense disrupted their offensive rhythm the rest of the game. Even if Alexander was there SEA hasn't been able to run the ball all season. On offense the Bears worked on establishing the run early and went all pass in the middle of the game. Soon defenses stop going eight in the box and the Bears running game will get better.
But of course, it must be an aberration, because the Bears offense sucks! Right? (And yes, I'm sounding like bitter MIA Heat fan in February of 2006)
ALRIGHT, Bears fan. Stop going bad college football fan with the "no respect" card. The Bears got their cocks sucked all night last night by the announcers, and are getting more of the media bandwagon pile on today. The Bears are getting all the respect they deserve right now (being only Week 4) as the best or 2nd best (Philadelphia being the other) team in the NFC. The bottom line is, keep winning and you'll have all the respect you want.
4. When did the Raiders get Joe Esterhaus as their defensive coordinator? You know you're a crappy team when the best tacklers on special teams are the kickers.
The Sports Guy factor: There was only one sideline shot on Art Shell the whole game and that's because he snuck into a shot of one of the other coordinators. Do you think all the ranting from SG caused the NFL to react to it? All I'm saying is that Romeo Cornell was on camera every 3 plays and not one single shot of Art Shell the entire game. Very interesting subplot.
Why were you watching this game, when you had JAX v WAS which was very entertaining, and NE beating down CINCY?
Good point! Because I have C Palmer and the CIN defense on my fantasy squad, it became too painful to watch. And somehow I had no desire to watch the JAX-WAS game... bad choice on my behalf, very Nick Saban.
5. Can we stop with the Brad Johnson makes no mistakes storyline? 2 Int's and most importantly:
Down by more than 3 with 14 sec's left, 3rd and 10 at the BUF 25 yardline and no TO's. Johnson throws a 5 yard pass down the middle, the WR (McMullen) is tackled and the clock runs out. Hey, I thought he makes no mistakes. That's two weeks in a row that he's killed the Vikings with poor 2 minute drills.
Everyone watched that first Monday night game and hyped up BJ because he went Kevin Garnett after they scored a touchdown (YEAH MOTHERFUCKER!). The reality is that guy is average at best.
6. Raiders may win next week. They have SF in the true Toilet Bowl. Though after blowing a 21-3 lead at home against CLE, they may never win a game.
No way the Raiders win next week. SF will bounce back and get the W. The Raiders' only shot at a W is a home game against HOU in like 6 weeks. Otherwise they may go 0-16.
7. Morton Andersen has man boobs! The fattest guy on your team should be the special teams coach, not the kicker.
Well, it doesn't seem to be working for the Raiders' kicker either.
8. Did Kurt Warner actually win the NFL MVP? Breathe on him and he fumbles. It's so bad that you can predict the play: Pressure, scramble away from the rush, look downfield, hit from behind, FUMBLE!!!
That's the last you'll see of Warner this season, unless Leinhart contracts Hep C from banging skank groupies on the road.
9. Lost in the ATL blowout (knockout win) was Vick giving up on the interception return. The guy's supposed to be the fastest player on the field and Algae Crumpler (6' 6" and 450 lbs) ended up chasing down the defender. Vick saw him run right by and just gave up. Dude, if you're throwing an INT into the endzone, you better haul ass to chase him down.
Yeah, and funny how on the highlight packages no one really is showing that INT, they're just showing the one made by Deion ERRRR Deangelo form ATL.
10. Charlie Frye has to stop heaving jump balls into the endzone! Did you see that one? He scrambled to the right and threw a jump ball across his body into the endzone trying to put the Raiders away. Almost a repeat of last week, except that the Raiders suck!
Dude, I said the EXACT same thing, I flipped over to that just as it happened. After literally costing his team the game last week by doing that, I was SHOCKED he did it again. Throw the ball away! You're telling me that all week his coaches weren't telling him that? The only thing more shocking than that was seeing the Bengals get destroyed at home by New England. I guess Denver is better than people thought! They're getting no respect, WAAAAAAAAAA!