What a Game!

By Craig Kwasniewski

That was fun, can we do that again!

No seriously, I'm buzzed all over the place!  The first day of our new blog: The Association NFL and I'm loving every single bit of it.

Here's my rundown of the game:

5:00 PM - Turn on the MNF pre-game stuff after spending the day surfing porn the web.

5:45 PM - Eat dinner w/ wife.  Her birthday was Saturday and I'm trying to win points with the Laker season coming up, knowing that I'll be going to 32 games this year.

6:30 PM - Turn on the game to see the Bears down 14-0.  (Pause)  WHAT THE FUCK!?!?  How the hell are the Bears losing to Arizona?  I rewind the Tivo 30 minutes, watching Rex Grossman passes hit everywhere but Bear receivers.  Matt Leinart is looking very Steve Young-ish.  Scrambling out of the pocket and firing left-handed passes all over the place with Cardinal receivers slicing through the vaunted Bear defense for TD's.

Charles Barkley (???) is in the ESPN booth announcing the game.  Theisman and Tirico are completely uncomfortable with Sir Charles.  There is ZERO chemistry.  (can we get some alcohol in this motherfucker?)  I'm counting down the minutes till half still trying to figure out how the Bears are losing and how the Arizona defense suddenly became the 2000 Ravens.

Grossman must have taken advice from Kurt Warner.  Every deep drop ends with a hit and a fumble.  I am trying REAL HARD not to throw the remote after Grossman's second fumble.  The fact that I'm sick saves me from downing straight Vodka at this point.

Halftime - Halftime comes and not soon enough, Bears are down 20-0.  Stop everything!  There's a new Jay-Z video at halftime.  ESPN has DJ Stuey Scott intro the vid... 

(click) I'm watching Saving Private Ryan on HBO. 

(click)  Back in time to see the 2nd half.

3rd Quarter - Finally the Bears put together a decent drive.  They chew up a lot of time on the drive, which is good to rest the D.  They stall and have to kick a FG, this is bad.  Time is running out!

I leave for coffee.  Yep, at this point I need to take a break, this is typical Bears on MNF.  They always seem to stink up the place on Monday night.  (Their lone loss in 1985 was on MNF.  It had more to do with McMahon being hurt than anything else, but the media always forgets this and tells us about the greatness of Dan Marino and the Miami Dolphins that night.  BTW - How many SB's did he win?  EXACTLY!)

4th Quarter - I come back to see the Bears down 23-10 in the 4th quarter.  Just one goddamn drive and WE'RE back in  this thing!  The Bears get great field position and are trying to drive for a TD with just under 10 minutes left.  The next three passes fall incomplete.  Can the Bears mix in a short dump pass under the zone defense?  There's not enough time for a FG, they have to go for it...

Grossman throws an INT on 4th down!!!   

The Arizona lineman takes the turnover into the endzone.  Wasn't he down?  The replay shows he's down, yet the refs take FOREVER to change the play.  What camera are they watching?  The fat cam on Denny Green?  Finally the play is turned over.

At this point the announcers are talking about a possible Arizona choke job.  What game are they watching?  The Bears offense is doing nothing and the defense has to be getting tired.  At this point Grossman has 5 turnovers to himself.  Kurt Warner is now idolizing Grossman's achievements.  Mrs. Kurt Warner just shaved a "Chicago 8" in her buzz cut.

The Bears D forces another punt.  This is an absolutely a stellar effort by their defense.  They are getting nothing from the offense and they still are keeping Arizona in check despite 5 turnovers.

The Bears are at midfield with 6 minutes left.  The clock is ticking!  GROSSMAN THROWS ANOTHER INT!  Are you shitting me?  Feel free to NOT throw a 25-yard out.  Seriously, this is the worst performance by a Bear QB ever.  And this is from a team that had Kordell Stewart starting a few years ago.

5 plus minutes left, the game is virtually over and the Cardinals are running out the clock.  The problem is that Arizona has no running game.  I know the Bears will stop Arizona, but there's no way they'll score again...

Edgerrin James just fumbled the ball!  Tillman picks it up a streaks for the endzone!  The score is 23-17.  They might have a chance.  Just one goddamn TD and the Bears steal a win!

Urlacher is all over the place as the Bears force the Cardinals into a punt with 3 minutes left and 3 timeouts.  There are camera shots of Rex Grossman fumbling his Gatorade cup, tripping over his shoelaces, dropping his helmet, pissing his pants... it's getting ugly, yet one TD and Grossman's a hero.

HESTER RETURNS THE PUNT FOR A TOUCHDOWN!!!  WOOOOOOOOOOO!!  I jump up and down.  The dog is scrambling for cover, the wife is fortunately two rooms away.  This is amazing!!!

I call my dad (a diehard Bears fan since the 50's) immediately, "Can you believe this?"

"I never thought they'd do it!"

We chat for a second and quickly hang-up not to jinx anything.  At this point I'll take any result.  Win or lose, that's a ridiculous rally by Chicago.  Down 23-3 late in the 3rd quarter and they take the lead with 3 non-offensive TD's.

While the ESPN announcers are stunned at the rally, Arizona get excellent field position after the kickoff at their own 38.  Nobody seems to notice this.  Neil Rackers was simply automatic last season and I'm thinking all Arizona needs to do is get to the 30 yardline and they win.

Leinart calmly drives the Cardinals down the field.  This guy's cool under pressure.  The Bears are giving the underneath stuff and unlike Grossman, Leinart is patient enough to take it.  They drive to the Bears 24 yardline. 

Call timeout!!!  I'm thinking that Rackers will nail the kick and the Bears need as much time s possible.  The Bears defense forces a field goal attempt from the 22 yardline.  This should be auto by Rackers.  ESPN shows a stat, "Rackers is 5 of 6 in the 4th quarter with game winning/tying field goals."  The only miss was last week, could this affect his confidence?

RACKERS MISSES WIDE LEFT!!!!

The Bears win.  Somehow they pull this one out of their asses.  I call my dad to talk up the win.  Afterward, I watch the highlights on ESPN for the next hour, trying to relive the moment.

This is one of those (cliche alert!) "moment of destiny" wins.  You know something special is going on with this one.  It reminds me of the 2-TD rally that McMahon had against Minnesota in 1985 on Monday Night.  The Bears were done then, as they were tonight, only to pull off a win.

WHEW!!!  Now excuse me while I pass out with some Nyquil.

Comments

[Brett]

Nothing like the buzz of your favorite team pulling a game out of their ass. Yes, I'm a little bitter that AZ gave up 3 defensive/special teams TD in the final 15:30 to cost me my fantasy football contest this week. But a couple of points from someone who has no emotional attachment to either team.

- I know it's only one game, but I would be a little concerned about the Bears offense (said the Broncos fan, whose team averages 13 points per game). I mean AZ's defense isn't really anything special, and Grossman turned it over 6 times! Let's see if they were exposed last night and if some of the better teams in the league will do the same.

- The Bears are still the top team in the NFC. When your offense turns the ball over 6 times on the road, and your defense can bail you out with 3 touchdowns, that's a good team. YES it was only Arizona, and CHI shouldn't count on that every week, but still a stong performance.

- I skimmed this article early this morning and saw this
Eat out dinner w/ wife.
but read this
Eat out wife
...had to read that again, because on top of the porn reference that would have been WAY too many visuals for one post.

[swiss replica watches]

The Bears are still the top team in the NFC. When your offense turns the ball over 4 times on the road, and your defense can bail you out with 2 touchdowns,

[replica Gucci handbags]

I mean AZ's defense isn't really anything special, and Grossman turned it over 4 times!