The Association

Derek Fisher's Obituary and Some Other Thoughts from G2

By Craig Kwasniewski

Put him to sleep, wish him to the cornfield, call in Dr. Kevorkian, have him kiss someone with Swine Flu, push him into traffic, spike his water with female hormones so he can fail a drug test... Whatever keeps Derek Fisher from playing for the Lakers do it now! How many more games will Fisher cost the Lakers before Phil Jackson wakes up from reading Jeanie Buss's tweets and benches his ass? Three points, two turnovers, one of nine from the field and ZERO defense, Fisher needs to meet the bench NOW!

Here are a few other thoughts from the Lakers 106-103 loss to Denver my seat in section 316:

Reverse of Game 1:  The Lakers thoroughly dominated Denver for the first 22 minutes.  The Nuggets looked lost and disinterested... basically the knuckle headed Denver Nuggets that most people expected showed up at the start of this game.  Yet somehow the Lakers didn't take hold of the game and the Nuggets (behind a very impressive effort from Carmelo Anthony) got back in it, eventually stealing game 2.

Props to Phil Jackson:  For benching BOTH Bynum and especially Vujacic.  Elden Campbell’s ghost took over Bynum’s body at halftime.  Inexplicably Bynum had zero energy early in the 3rd quarter and PJ just didn't have the patience to wait for Bynum shit. Vujacic shot selection was absolute gash, earning dirty looks from everyone in Staples Center not wearing powder blue.  He needs to be destroyed like a horse with a broken leg.

The WORST thing to happen in a game:  Chauncey Billups and Carmelo Anthony had balanced scoring in game 2.  The Lakers are better off if one or the other explodes, but if both get 22-30 each then the Lakers are in serious trouble.  It gives the Nuggets two go to guys down the stretch compared to the Lakers one with Kobe.  And tonight, Chauncey's veteran moxie took over as he drew several key fouls.

The Lakers front line needs to not be intimidated by Denver’s shorter front line.  Two games into the series and the Odom, Bynum & Gasol triumvirate have 62 points compared to 61 from Martin, Nene & Anderson.  The Lakers “advantage” is supposed to be their front line yet they lead 62-61 after two HOME games…. This is a VERY disturbing stat from LA's perspective. 

Melo has REALLY impressed me.  Late in the 2^nd quarter, the Lakers were on the brink of blowing the game wide open… well Melo wouldn’t have it and he alone carried the Nuggets on his shoulder and kept the game close…. aided by Vujacic’s TERRIBLE shot selection.

Outlook for Game 3:  The Lakers need to get points from everyone not named Kobe on the road to get back into this series… and I’m not sure how they’ll do it at Denver.  Mix in that Kobe’s running out of gas, how are they going to win at altitude?  And based on the first two games, I'm not sure they can expect their bigs to rally.  So where will Kobe get the scoring help?  Things look really good for Denver!

Western Conference Finals Prediction

By Craig Kwasniewski

Lakers vs. Nuggets... which wins out, the streaking team or the team with the better match-ups? The Nuggets come in as the hottest team in the playoffs, running through the first two rounds and with a growing bandwagon loaded with all the "experts" labeling them the dark horse team du jour. The Lakers roll in, bruised and battered after a very unexpected 7-game series against the thoroughly undermanned yet prideful Houston Rockets. They no longer look like a lock for the NBA Finals.

Here's a brief rundown on the series...

It's 1992 all over again: This series reminds me of the 1992 Eastern Conference Finals between Cleveland and Chicago. The Bulls just finished a very grueling 7-game series against the the New York Knicks. Before the series, people expected the Bulls to run through New York in 5 or 6 games, but they were caught off guard and somewhat intimidated  by the Knicks physical presence (Xavier McDaniel alone had Pippen in a fetal position the entire series).  Eventually Jordan pulled Chicago through in Game 7, matching the Knicks effort on both ends of the floor.  Phil Jackson even used video of Jordan blocking X-Man from behind as motivation for the Lakers in a film session earlier this week.

Anyway, the Bulls went from playing a slug-it-out possession-by-possession series into a more offensive-oriented game against Cleveland and easily dispatched them in 6.  This series plays out the exact same way.  Denver just doesn't have the right mind-set to play the brute-physical style of the Rockets.  Don't get me wrong, they'll bring it physically, but not with the same kind of defensive control like the 1992 Knicks or 2009 Rockets. 

Lakers weakness:  Quite simply, the Lakers can't defend small and quick guards and they're weak on the defensive glass.  Chauncey Billups is a lot bigger than Aaron Brooks and is more of a pull-up jump shooter than the driving/slashing Billups that killed the Lakers back in 2004.  However, the Nuggets will get theirs on the offensive glass with K-Mart and Nene.

The other VERY glaring weakness is the Lakers effort... which is VERY disturbing that the Lakers have saved their playoff efforts until they have to. 

Nuggets weakness:  Shhhhh... nobody realizes this but the Nuggets front line is kinda small.  Nene is 6-11, Anderson is 6-10 and K-Mart is 6-9 (but really he's 6-7)... they got away with being small against an even smaller New Orleans squad that game up on the coach and very slow Dallas team, but the Lakers throw out Pau Gasol at 7-0, Andrew Bynum at 7-0 and Lamar Odom at 6-11.  They'll have to be even quicker against LA to have a chance. 

Their other weakness that we have yet to see in the playoff is that they're loaded with knuckleheads from the head coach on down to the team trainer.  Winning cures everything and beating far inferior opponents makes it seam as though the Nuggets are cured of all the past indiscretions.  Let's see how they react when they're down a game or two in the series.

Coaching match-up:  Phil Jackson is 11-1 in the Conference Finals with an 11 series winning streak.  George Karl has lost in the first round of the postseason 10 out of 18 postseason appearances.  One thing the Rockets series taught me is that the 63-year old version of Phil Jackson is not the same version as the three peat era.  Clearly he's lost his fastball but he's still one of the top 5 coaches in the NBA.  With Karl, I almost feel like he's winning with Denver solely because of Chaucey Billups and his job is to just get out of the way.  Has there even been a more miss-match of coaches in the playoffs?  (Well at least until Jackson takes on Mike Brown.) 

The Big Question:  Really this series comes down to Denver's ability to play defense.  Do they have the right mentality to defend Kobe like the Rockets and Celtics?  *NO*  And this is really what this series comes down to... defending the opponents best player.  When motivated, the Lakers have shown the ability to contain players like Carmelo Anthony and the slower Chauncey Billups but Denver doesn't have the roster to contain Kobe.  Sure they can try to intimidate Gasol and Odom out of the series and they will probably succeed in a few games, but over a seven game series you're asking a high-octane offense-first team to suddenly slow down and contain a front line of Pau Gasol, Andrew Bynum and Lamar Odom with Kobe Bryant pulling the strings... not an easy thing to do...

The Prediction:  The big if comes down to the Lakers effort.  IF they play like they're supposed to (Games 3, 5 and 7 against Houston), the Lakers win this series in 5.  But as we've seen, the Lakers have taken the occasional playoff game off... which Lakers squad shows up determines this series... either way, I'm sticking with the Lakers in 5.

Monday Morning Point Guard

By Craig Kwasniewski 

March Madness eat your heart out! One weekend down and there were several upsets, a few stinkers and a couple expected results. As much as I love the whole one and done March Madness thing, you don't get the physical play, the adjustments and strategy that a 7-game series offers. Here are a few thoughts with one game down in each series: 

Boston vs. Chicago - Is there room on the Derrick Rose bandwagon? The Bulls were the one team I regret not seeing in person this year. Anyone with an eye for hoops can appreciate the full range this rookie brings to the Bulls but what I didn't notice until Saturday is Rose's quick and explosive LAST step. Most players have that quick first step to blow by defenders but Rose explodes right at the rim at his last step. Also, his extremely calm nature works well with the youthful Bulls. Game 1 against the defending champs and he has the heart rate of a librarian and it's contagious as the Bulls weren't phased at all. I still think Boston wins, but the Bulls should make Rose the GM, coach and owner and build around him for the next 12 years. 

Cleveland vs. Detroit - Are we done yet? Are we done yet? Are we done yet? SWEEP! 

San Antonio vs. Dallas - One quarter in, Duncan had springy legs and looked very 2007, I was on the brink of writing a "Mavs should have kept Maquis Daniels instead of Josh Howard" piece and Nowitzki was in foul trouble... basically it didn't look good for Dallas. I left home, went out thinking the Spurs would win easily and I caught the last few seconds at a bar as Dallas... PULLED AWAY FOR A W??? What the hell happened? Suddenly Dallas looks like a very legit Western Conference finalist and San Antonio looks old.    

Portland vs. Houston - This really looks like a match-up problem for Portland more than anything else. Maybe their inexperience cost them a W as they didn't have that fifth gear or maybe they're just happy to be there.  All I know is Yao played the best playoff game of his life and showed EVERYONE that the problem was always T-MAC. 

Los Angeles vs. Utah - No Okur, no chance for Utah... it's just that simple. But the real story is the referees killing the entire second half of the game. It's no surprise that Joey Crawford was the lead ref in the worst called game of the weekend. Does the NBA pay him by the fouls? Does he really think the fans pay to see him ref? Is he out to single-handedly ruin professional hoops?  There were SIXTEEN fouls in the 3rd quarter alone and a free-flowing game became a possession-by-possession freethrow festival. Terrible! 

Orlando vs. Philadelphia - I've said this all year, Orlando doesn't have the go to guy necessary to make a deep run in the playoffs. C-Webb pretty much blew a gasket ripping on the Magic not riding Dwight Howard all game. But does Superman really want to be "that guy" with the Magic or is he content with monster numbers, monster dunks and showmanship? NBA Champions all have the definitive alpha dog and an understood chain of command. The Celtics heart lies with KG but crunchtime went Pierce first and Sugar Ray second. The early 00's Lakers had Shaq for 3 1/2 quarters with Kobe as the closer... what about Orlando? 

Atlanta vs. Miami - The Hawks put together a Special Edition Double-DVD set of highlights on the Heat on Sunday. Instead of 2006 Kobe and the Lakers with their near upset of the #2 seeded Phoenix Suns, the Heat resembled the 2007 edition and the very one-sided 4-1 loss to Phoenix. But we'll see what kind of road playoff team Atlanta is in games 3 & 4. 

Denver vs. New Orleans - Denver put together a sick 21-0 run late in the 3rd early in the 4th to put away what was a close and very physical game. Chauncey Billups went retro looking like a 2005 version going 8 of 9 from three on his way to 36 points. NOLA basically gave up at the end of the 3rd quarter so this blowout doesn't really mean the Nuggets will sweep. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if NOLA steals game 2. This really feels like a very bitter and very physical seven game series.

NBA Draft Trade Roundup: Jermaine O'Neal to Toronto for T.J. Ford Is the Biggie

by Brett Edwards

A few quick trades to report today as we get ready for tomorrow night's draft.

Jermaine O'Neal to the Raptors in exchange for T.J. Ford: Good deal for both clubs. Indiana gets to rebuild with two first-rounders, and Toronto gets to team Chris Bosh and JO together (for at least the 50 games that O'Neal's healthy). Also, solves that silly point guard feud about who should start for the Raps.

Nuggets give trade their only pick to the Bobcats: Looks like Denver has no interest in the players who might be available at 20, and looks like Charlotte gets a chance to improve quickly with two first round picks. Nice move for the Bobcats, curious one for the Nuggets. Some possible reasons Denver might have done this.

Portland buys New Orleans' #27 Pick for $3M: Interesting move by the Blazers, who already seemed to have too many picks and players to begin with. Could they be stockpiling to move WAY up in the draft? Stay tuned.

Playoffs 2008: The List of Coaching Have-Nots

By Craig Kwasniewski

Is it me or have these playoffs established a wider divide between the coaching haves and have-nots? For every Gregg Popovich and Phil Jackson leading two well-oiled machines primed for a colossal showdown in mid-May you have Flip Saunders and Doc Rivers doing... well doing their best Doc Rivers and Flip Saunders impressions (read: not coaching). Since the haves are very obvious (Jackson, Popovich, Byron Scott, Jerry Sloan, the Hedgehog and Mo Cheeks) lets focus on the have-nots:

Mike D'Antoni: Honestly, Phoenix Suns fans should be even more pissed off at D'Antoni after Sunday's season-saving win over San Antonio. It only took all of three games for D'Antoni to finally make the key defensive adjustment by switching Boris Diaw on Tony Parker. THREE FREAKIN' GAMES!

When we finally look back at the 2006-07 Suns, people will point fingers squarely on Steve Kerr and blame downfall of the Suns on the Shaq deal. It was a huge gamble that, as Charles Barkley pointed out on TNT, the Suns needed to take a chance on. Sure, they probably needed more time to blend together as a cohesive unit and facing the second best team in the West in the first round obviously didn't help. But Mike D'Antoni cost the Suns this series. Let's even look at that epic Game One where Popovich ran circles around D'Antoni at three key moments:

1. D'Antoni had Leandro Barbosa guarding Michael Finley as he hit the first game-saving three at the end of regulation. Where was Grant Hill? He has same build and athleticism as Finley and is strong enough and has the basketball IQ to throw off Finley from the perimeter. Instead the Brazilian Blur, who's not know for his half-court defense, became the Brazilian Burned and the Spurs were given a second chance.

2. The second game-saving three was a pure miracle shot by Tim Duncan that never should have happened. The Suns should have fouled Ginobili when he was dribbling around the perimeter looking to create (or facilitate, the buzz word for 07-08) for one of the Spurs spot-up shooters. Instead, the Suns watched Ginobili dribble around and then the collapsed on him in the lane leaving Duncan wide open. Why collapse on a guy in the lane when you're up three? And isn't it a European thing to foul instead of playing defense? And didn't D'Antoni make his name as a hoops star in Italy?

3. But the game winner was pure Popovich! The Suns were out of time outs and Nash just hit a risickulous three in the corner to tie it up. Normally Pop would signal an immediate time out and diagram a play. He's notorious for saving all of his time outs for these situations, but the Spurs didn't stop the action. Why? Because the Suns took out all of their interior defenders for that last-second three and Popovich realized that Manu had a good chance at driving the lane for a game winner. Well... we all know how that ended and we all know that Pop CLEARLY dominated D'Antoni.

So the question remains, how many more postseason failures and late adjustments will the Suns' fans, front office and roster put up with? Or more importantly, how many more seasons do they have a relevant Steve Nash on the floor? Stay tunned!

George Karl: Rumors persist that the Nuggets are keeping Karl for next season.

(Time to play "Really" with Seth Meyers and Amy Pohler.)

Really? The Nuggets are keeping a head coach who's led the third highest payroll to a first-round sweep? Really? The Nuggets have a total of three playoffs wins in the last four years (BTW - such a low number that it's grammatically correct to write out the number) and you're keeping him? Really? Melo admits that the team quit in game three. Isn't it the job of a coach to motivate the players? Really? Really? The same George Karl famous for season-ending flameouts in Seattle and Milwaukee is being asked to return? Really? Karl will return to coach the team that "saved" Allen Iverson from 76ers. Isn't that the same 76ers that have at least two more playoff wins than Karl's Nuggets? Really? REALLY?

Avery Johnson: Before Sunday's loss to New Orleans, Johnson was on the 50-50 list along with Mike Woodson, Mike Brown (say what you want about his coaching, the guy pulls out W's), Sam Mitchell and Rick Adelman. But Avery Johnson made two mistakes that killed the momentum of the game and ultimately ended the series (Dallas just doesn't have the stones to rally from a 3-1 deficit.).

What the hell was JJ Barea doing in uniform instead of Tyronn Lue? I know he's injured with a back, but a broken Lue is eons better than Barea! And the Mavs paid dearly when Johnson put Barea in with a lead during the second period. Barea played like it was "win a spot on the Mavs night" and killed all of their momentum. That was the turning point of the most important game of the season and Dallas never really threatened the rest of the way. Why play the ball boy during the playoffs?????

Unlike Phoenix, people should point to the Kidd trade as the downfall of the Mavericks. It never should have happened and now the Mavs are way over the salary cap with Avery Johnson most likely fired this summer.

Doc Rivers: Until this guy actually wins a playoff series (which he hasn't in *NINE SEASONS* of coaching!) I can't ever consider him a good head coach. And the "best team in the NBA" just lost to the eighth-seeded Atlanta Hawks. Hey I understand... quality teams are allowed to stumble every now and then. As San Antonio showed us, good teams tend to lose focus. But what absolutely kills me is that this guy is actually in the conversation for his second coach of the year award. Really? (opps, I already did that!) So you're telling me that he's getting votes over nine-time NBA champ Phil Jackson or even Jerry Sloan (who deserves it more that anyone). The guy has never won a playoff series in *NINE SEASONS* of coaching!!!!!!!!!

Eddie Jordan: Two GLARING things with the Wizards: bad turnovers and worse emotions. A ton of HORRIBLE turnovers did the Wizards in on Sunday. But what's even worse is the lack of control that Eddie Jordan has on his players. Is it wise to piss of one of the best players in the NBA? Do you really need to motivate him even more?

Flip Saunders: Let's save the best story for last. On Sunday's telecast on TNT, Chris Webber confirmed what everyone in the NBA already knew but didn't know: that the Pistons tune out Flip Saunders. With Detroit losing to Philadelphia by 10 at the half, Ernie Johnson put a question out to the former Piston and new in-studio member:

Ernie: You've been in that locker room with Flip Sauders at halftime, what is the mood in there now.

C-Webb: Truthfully, no disrespect against Flip but it doesn't matter what Flip says because they take on the personality of Joe Dumars. So I'll tell you this: Rip, Chauncey, Tayshaun Prince, Rasheed and McDyess are very mad right now, they're probably not even talking and they're probably just saying, "okay we're going to go win this ballgame."

Joe will come down to the locker room though and tell everybody, "I don't know what y'all think you're doing. I'll trade all y'all today." Joe will do that.

So who's doing the coaching anyway... Joe D or Flip? This totally explains why under Saunders the Pistons seem bored during the playoffs. But if they were tuning him out last year (as C-Webb learned first hand), then why is Saunders still coaching them? Again, like the Suns, how many playoff disappointments under Flip Saunders will the Pistons' fans, front office, and roster put up with? Sheed, Rip and Chauncey are getting up there in age. Do they really want to do this again next season?

You can't hide bad coaching in the playoffs.

The NBA Dropped the Ball on the First Outdoor Game in Modern NBA History

By Craig Kwasniewski

According to yahoo.com:

The Phoenix Suns and Denver Nuggets will play the first outdoor game in modern NBA history during the 2008-09 preseason.

The exhibition game on Oct. 11 at the 16,000-seat Indian Wells Tennis Garden will be televised by TNT.

The game follows the NHL's successful outdoor game on New Year's Day in Buffalo, N.Y.

"What will happen here will be historic," Rick Welts, the Suns' president and chief operating officer, said Tuesday. "More importantly, I think this will be a lot of fun. Most of us learned how to play basketball outdoors. This had the perfect circumstances to do it in the NBA."

OK... FREEZE IT!!!!

There's so many things wrong here I don't know where to start. First off, I think it's a great idea to take the game outdoors for an exhibition. All of us started playing outdoors on the playgrounds and it's a true retro/turn-back-the-clock element. Nothing wrong with that.

While "most of us learned how to play basketball outdoors" most of us *DID NOT* learn how to play hoops on a tennis court in a retirement community (BTW - Indian Wells is Palm Springs). Way to cater to your fanbase by selling tickets to middle-aged white people in the desert!

This is where the NBA totally dropped the ball on the outdoor concept. Why not have the game at one of the more famous outdoor playgrounds like Rucker Park in NYC? How great of a publicity coup would that be for the NBA by taking the game back to the streets for a charity exhibition game. And if weather is a concern (one of the "excuses" for playing in Indian Wells), then play it at Venice Beach on the courts made famous in White Man Can't Jump.

But instead, this looks like another attention/money-grabbing effort in the preseason. Instead of taking the game back to the people, the NBA is taking the game away and putting it in front of "the Man."

Oh and by the way, I wouldn't necessarily compare myself to the NHL in a press release. Who cares if the outdoor game in Buffalo was a success. How is the rest of the league doing? Here's a good example: I had nine free tickets to last night's LA Kings game and two whole months to give them away. Well after hearing several "I f*cking hate hockey" and "what a waste of time and gas" remarks, a total of four people went to the abortion that was a 0-4 loss to Phoenix. And on a day off there were plenty of seats available.

Do the right thing and take the outdoor game to the playground!

Magic Bryant? Kobe Johnson? Whatever it was, the Lakers Need More of it

By Craig Kwasniewski

Kobe Bryant played by far his best game of the season as he passed out 11 assists to lead the Lakers to a 116-99 win over Denver on Monday night. 11 dimes by a reputed ball hog. 11 dishes to remind us just how good Kobe's potential can be (and 11 dishes to remind us about that unfulfilled potential, as when he took 44 shots along with 2 assists just 7 days ago against Seattle). Anyway, here's a few thoughts on Kobe's exceptional game and other things from what I saw high up in Section 316:

Jackson's key adjustment and Kobe's willingness to follow it: Many critics of Phil Jackson accuse the coach of not being a coach but more of a motivator/psychologist and his success is byproduct of the talent in front of him and not because of his of his X's and O's ability. Tonight he made a key adjustment that changed the Lakers from the stagnant offense of the past three games to the fluid, excellent passing and high scoring machine tonight. And it was a very simple move: post Kobe Bryant up.

The Lakers have many jump shooters who are limited in their ability to create their own shot. The Triangle offense is perfect for them. Motion, spacing and passing creates spots on the floor for wide open jumpers, but it also helps that the defense is keyed in on a serious low post threat. THAT has been the key when Bynum was playing big minutes. The likes of Farmar, Fisher, Radmanovic, Walton, Vujacic and Coby Karl were getting wide open looks and hitting those shots as defenses worried about Bynum's inside game. Against Memphis, Seattle and Phoenix, the Lakers lacked the low post threat to spread the defense out and they ended up looking for Kobe to bail them out.

So Phil went to his second best post option and guaranteed double-team threat in Kobe and posted him up throughout the game. So as the Nuggets doubled Kobe, he directed the offense from the post and found the open man on quick cuts to the hoop or for spot up jumpers. And when Denver stopped doubling Kobe (as they did for a few possessions in the second quarter)... well Kobe simply went "1998 Jordan" on them and got easy points in the post. Obviously the key to the win was for Kobe Bryant to buy into PJ's adjustment and trust his teammates. It's games like this where Kobe Bryant really shows just how much of an overall talent he is. Some of the passes were straight up off tha hook (especially a sweet behind-the-back pass to Ronnie Turiaf with the shot clock expiring seen here in the photo).

Of course, Kobe can easily turn back into "selfish Kobe" and jack up 35 shots on Wednesday against San Antonio. This is what can be so frustrating for me as a basketball purist. Sure Kobe can win a lot of games on his own, but the Lakers are a far better overall team when the ball is shared, as in tonight's game.

Let's not forget that Melo went down in the first half: Carmelo Anthony landed on Kobe's foot and sprained his ankle in the 2nd quarter. Melo was on fire at that point, feasting off the dead carcass known as Luke Walton (who's 3 more shitty games from losing the rights to the last name of Walton). You never know if the Lakers would have won this one if Melo continued to stay hot all night. Instead, they depended on Marcus Camby in the second half, who almost rallied the Nuggets back while being guarded by Kwame Brown's corpse (he can still keep the last name no matter how many shitty games... and there will be many of them).

Luke Walton on defense.... OLE!

Fisher/Farmar combined for an audacious 47 points: Look, the Lakers aren't going to get this kind of production from their point guard spot probably ever again. But this is the type of effort they'll need to carry them through the injuries. The key is that Jackson's able to maintain normal minutes for the players he has left. Last season as injuries started to add up, the healthy players simply broke down by the end of the season. So expect a lot of minutes for Crittenton, Turiaf and Vujacic just to keep the starters' minutes normal.

DJ Mbenga (clock-clock-clock) makes an appearance: Here's the thing about the Mbenga signing: at least the Lakers did something. Last year, with players falling left and right, the Lakers went George Bush and "stayed the course." So the team got mired in losing streaks and a once-promising season ended abruptly. So Mbenga's not Chris Webber... but at least it shows that Mitch Kupchak is working at his desk as opposed to sitting in a fetal position on the floor screaming questions at a 1985 head shot of Jerry West. Mbenga can play defense and rebound, which is all they need in case Brown or Turiaf gets injured... not great, bet it's better than nothing.

We Want Tacos: The Lakers have a promotion where a free taco coupon is given to all in attendance if the Lakers win AND hold their opponent to 99 points or less. This opens the door to "We Want Tacos" chants in place of "Let's Go Lakers!" The fans are at a near playoff level frenzy screaming for the Lakers scrubs to play defense. It's the funniest thing ever! And trust me, Linas Kleiza tried to put the Nuggets over 99 points but couldn't pull it off. Tacos for everyone!!!!!

I got tacos!

Two Reasons Why I Will *NEVER* Attend a Nuggets Home Game

By Craig Kwasniewski

The Denver Nuggets Silver Hotties and the Hipster Girlz Dance Team. Obviously the definition of entertainment in the Mile High City is far different than out here in LA. (How else can you explain a performance of Shit & Shit Big & Rich at the 2005 NBA All-Star Game in Denver?) So with the Silver Hotties and the Hipster Girlz (alwayz gotta get in that Z, nothing equalz street cred more than that Z), I'm guessing the fans actually boo loudly whenever George Karl calls a timeout. Or between quarters. Or at halftime. Or before the game. Hell, I'm guessing that the fans are praying for a running clock with two 24 minute halves. Either that or the Pepsi Center is now offering up a heroin booth. Can't we just call the Pepsi Center the Beer Goggle Arena?

OR

Maybe the women in Denver are on the level of the women in Boston (read: ricockulously heinous) and NEED offensively ugly dancers just to pump up their low self esteems. Either way, this is wrong.

Speaking of wrong, do we really need to see someone's "Gamma" doing the splits?

Carmelo Anthony's All-Star Ballot

by Brett Edwards

Carmelo Anthony is too humble to hype himself up as far as the All-Star voting goes, but that doesn't mean he can't help out his friends. Right now, it seems that he's all about giving love to Baron Davis. And why not? 'Melo doesn't need the help, he's leading the Western Conference forwards right now. But Baron is mired in 6th in the very crowded Western guard spot, so he needs all the help he can get.

Warriors fans and I have had our differences, but I'm in agreement that Baron deserves to be an All-Star this year. The problem is, so does Kobe, so does Steve Nash, so does Allen Iverson, and so does Chris Paul. It will be very interesting to see who gets in; right now it looks like inevitably someone is going to get screwed.

[via FanHouse]

316 Report: Lakers vs. Nuggets

By Craig Kwasniewski

Here's a few brief takes from the Lakers 127-99 victory over Denver last night from my seats high up in Section 316:

Denver was virtually whitewashed in the 4th quarter: With Denver rallying back to close the game to within 6 after 3 quarters, Phil Jackson throws out a lineup of Vujacic, Walton, Radmanovic, Farmar and Turiaf... a Chris Mihm shy of a whitewash. Normally this results in Kobe rallying the Lakers back from a 10 point deficit. Shockingly the Lakers pulled away with cerebral and fundamental basketball... just kidding. Actually the Lakers pulled away with improved defense (especially from from Walton and Farmar) timely outside shooting. Most importantly, Odom, Fisher, Bryant and Bynum didn't play at all after the 3rd quarter, getting much needed rest for tomorrow's game at Utah.

The Vujacic Effect: I can count all of Sasha Vujacic's great games on one hand... after having a thumb and two fingers amputated. Last season he played his best career game ever, nailing several huge jumpers in a come-from-behind win against Dallas. Now you can add this one to the Vujacic vault as he played... (this is really hard to type)... the role of closer. Trust me, this guy is still a piece of garbage, but tonight Sasha, you really came through. He even got under Carmelo Anthony's skin, which brings me to...

No matter how great he is for Team USA, Carmelo Anthony is still a thug: Just when people were ready to forget about that cheap shot in the Knicks game last year, Melo gets tossed tonight. With 6:18 remaining he hits Vujacic in the throat away from the ball resulting in a flagrant 2 and an immediate ejection. Vujacic has this ability to get underneath people's skin (even I want to punch him out every time I see him), but Melo should know better. He's way too good of a baller to get dragged down to the level of scrubs like Sasha Vujacic. So disappointing... Melo's offensive game was virtually unstoppable in the first half tonight. He was nailing jumpers left and right with Odom right up in his grille and I was mentally writing a "Melo's finally getting it" post until the Vujacic incident.

Jackson's key adjustment: Besides the 4th quarter whitewash, the other key adjustment by Jackson was starting Walton over Radmanovic to start the second half. Radmanovic hasn't been drawing iron at all during this three game home-stand and Walton's been having a hard time adjusting to his new role off the bench. So Jackson simply switched both players and viola, the Lakers responded with a more fluid offensive game and a 14 point lead midway through the 3rd quarter. I expect Walton to start against Utah tomorrow.

Denver's very weak at the point: The Nuggets started Anthony Carter at the point. Yes the same Anthony Carter from the Miami Heat, made famous for that over-the-backboard game winner in the 2000 Eastern Conference Semifinals against New York. The dude had zero offensive game back then and STILL has zero offensive game. Denver is a much more dangerous team with A.I. at the point and J.R. Smith at shooting guard. But of course it makes no sense to start your 5 best players on the roster. Instead, with Carter starting, the Nuggets got 5 points, 4 assists and 2 turnovers in 30 minutes with the Lakers using his man to double the perimeter... basically daring him to shoot Now Denver knows what the Smush Parker era feels like to Laker fans.

I still love watching A.I.: Not much to say here except that I really enjoy watching A.I. play in person. He brings a type of energy that transforms the crowd. The fans are more into the game, the hot chicks roll out to see him play and the player bring a late season type of effort.

We want tacos: The Lakers promotional staff gives out free tacos whenever the Lakers win AND hold their opponents under 100 points. Tonight with the Nuggets stuck at 99 and under 60 seconds left, Staples Center was going ape shit with "We want tacos!" and "Defense...defense!" chants. Hilarious stuff! Dude, we're talking $1 tacos and hours of indigestion and the place was rocking like Kobe just hit a playoff buzzer beater. Again... High-larious!!!!

I took a photo of the scoreboard leading the "We want tacos!" chant: