The Association

Kobe vs. VC Takes a Backseat in Lakers Rout Over New Jersey

by Craig Kwasniewski

The annual Kobe-VC matchup never materialized as the Lakers turn a close halftime score into a 120-93 rout. Here's a few observations from my seat in section 316:

Devin Harris was held in check most of the night. Devin Harris has been torching everyone (except that English guy), where was he most of the night? Outside of a great second quarter, the Harris was a non-factor. New Jersey stayed close with the Lakers in the second quarter running that spread offense that NOLA and the Spurs run (3 perimeter players with a big setting a screen at the top of the key). Harris finally got rolling, running layup drills through the Lakers porous defense as the lanes opened up. You'd think the Nets would stick with Harris the rest of the night, but...

Bad coaching killed the Nets. So as I mentioned, the Nets stayed close with Harris doing layup drills in the 2nd. But instead of sticking with what was working, the Nets ran their offense through Yi Jianlian... and proceeded to get rolled, getting outscored by 12 in the third. Way to out think the best team in the Western Conference by going away from what was working! Did the Chinese Premier call in the plays a la Al Davis? Does he have a sweet all red sweat suit? Just lose by 27 baby!

Speaking of Yi Jianlian... I just don't get him. Remember that video of Obama playing ball with UNC? All he did was run up and down the floor and occasionally cycle the pass around the perimeter. THAT is Yi's game in a nutshell! All he does is run up and down the floor. So it was no surprise that New Jersey got killed as soon as they ran the offense through him. But I guess he sprints a mean 94-feet... oh an he's long. Enjoy the Yi era New Jersey!

Are the Lakers soft? That seems to be the feeling from Rick Fox at halftime. It's hard to tell especially with such a soft schedule. True, they don't have that killer instinct that the C's showed all last season. True, they haven't played a full 48-minute game. And true, Detroit (and especially Kwame Brown???) kicked their ass at Staples Center, but it's still too early in the season to label a 12-1 team soft. Let's see how December goes and how they face Boston on Christmas Day. But they can take solace in the fact that the 90's Bulls weren't physically tough, just VERY talented, which is what the Lakers are.

The end of Kobe vs. VC? Lastly... Every time Vince Carter rolls out to LA Kobe brings a playoff intensity on defense which pisses off Carter because it's November and he wants to coast. The end result, Carter wakes up and a good battle ensues. Not tonight, Kobe laid low for the first half and found just enough offense in the third to easily close out New Jersey. Maybe this marks the end of those Kobe vs. VC battles.

Brook Lopez May Never Be Mic'd Up Again, Which Would Be a Shame

by Brett Edwards

Lots of fun goings on at the Draft last night, (read through the amazing 5-hour live-blog if you missed any of it) but this video of Brook Lopez being mic'd up might have been my favorite moment. Seriously, what a tool this guy is. "Oh, it's sooo boring waiting to see how many millions of dollars I'm going to earn over the next three years!" Awesome. Maybe he can work on his personality this summer while he works on his post game.

"LAWRENCE FRANK?!" Someone just bought himself some extra wind sprints his first day of practice.

4 Reasons Why Kidd Won't Get Traded to LA

By Craig Kwasniewski

The local media here in LA needs to calm the F down! The trade talk du jour has the New Jersey Nets sending Jason Kidd to the Lakers for a bag of shit expiring contracts. I've never been a fan of trade speculation talk, it's time filler for lazy sportstalk radio hosts and it gives a bunch of idiot fans a chance to call in with their suggestions.

Anyway, here's four reasons why the Jason Kidd trade won't happen:

1. Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak doesn't make midseason trades. The last time the Lakers franchise made a midseason trade was 1999 with the Glen Rice-Eddie Jones trade, back in the Jerry West era. Maybe the pressure of a trade deadline or simply thinking on his feet, but Kupchak is a no-show every February.

2. The Lakers are going for Kevin Garnett this summer. I read in a Sam Smith article that Garnett can opt out of his T-Wolves contract this summer. He's got a home in Malibu, his favorite team as a child is the Lakers and he'd make the perfect number two to Kobe. Garnett would guarantee title contention in LA for three years. Kidd's contract would lock up the Lakers through 2008-09 and kill the deal.

3. Nets GM Rod Thorn isn't retarded. Rod Thorn is one of the new decent GM's out there an he's very aware of Kidd's value to the Nets. Richard Jefferson alone owes 50% of his paycheck to Jason Kidd creating layups off the break. Unless Thorn gets an enticing offer (Brian Cook, Chris Mihm and a Grammy gift bag is not that!) this deal is dead.

4. The triangle offense doesn't allow for mid-season acquisitions. I keep hearing that Kidd is so good that he'll fit in the with the Lakers system, but isn't that what we heard with Gary Payton back in 2004? The triangle offense takes roughly two years to learn and it best fits spot shooters and slashers, neither of Kidd's specialties.

On Friday, Jason Kidd will still be with the New Jersey Nets.

The Worst Idea Ever: The NETSational Seniors

By Craig Kwasniewski

There's officially no reason whatsoever to watch a New Jersey Nets game at Continental Airlines Arena. Vince Carter is mailing it in, Richard Jefferson is injured, the Nets are 22-24 in the Tank Division and...

the New Jersey Nets have a geriatric dance team to entertain the fans!?!

The NETSational Seniors, a group of post-60 year-olds, made their debut last night against the Pistons. The Nets propaganda All-Access Quarterly sums up the experience:

There's always something about watching the older folk dance on the big screen during a sporting event that always catches the eyes and attention of just about everyone in attendance.

Yeah if it's Freaky Fetish Night. Anyway, the Nets had an open audition with Johnny Sack as a celebrity judge. (BTW - Do they just roll out a Sopranos celebrity to every event in New Jersey? "Cutting the ribbon to the Teaneck Abortion Clinic, it's Carlo Gervasi from the Sopranos!!!")

Since I have nothing more do say on the subject, I'll have Cal from The 40 Year Old Virgin put some thoughts in your head the next time you see The NETSational Seniors.

"You can fuck her while watching "Murder, She Wrote". She'll like that."

"You should fuck her and then have her send you $12 on your birthday."

"That's a good looking grandma! My grandma looks like Jack Palace...If Jack Palace looked like that lady I would want to fuck Jack Palace right now."

Husband Beater!?!?

By Craig Kwasniewski

Normally I'll pass on the spousal relationships of NBA players (unless it's Tony Longoria simply because it's forced down our throats), but the divorce papers filed by Jason Kidd... this may be the best piece of court documents ever! Talk about creative writing at its best.

There are a gajillion people in Stabucks all over Los Angeles working on their screenplays just hoping to come up with something as good as this. Here's a brief rundown:

-Jason Kidd accuses Joumana, his wife of 10 years, of "extreme cruelty." (Doesn't that sound like some bad Steven Seagal movie from 1994?)

-According to yahoo.com, "Kidd accuses Joumana Kidd of physically and mentally abusing him, threatening to make false domestic violence complaints against him to police, and of interfering with his relationship with his children." (So was the whole domestic abuse thing in Phoenix made up? Or is this some way to throw doubt on any future accusations made by Joumana?)

-Here's my favorite part of the story (from yahoo.com):

His complaint, however, paints a detailed portrait of Joumana Kidd as a vitriolic, jealous and paranoid wife prone to public outbursts and threats, including during a recent Nets game.

According to the complaint, Joumana Kidd used the couple's 8-year-old son on Dec. 27 to sneak into the Nets locker room and rummage through Jason Kidd's locker to find his cell phone. After looking up the names and numbers on it, the complaint said she left her son behind as she went upstairs to take a front row seat, where she shouted insults at Kidd throughout the game.

The papers accuse Joumana Kidd of kicking, hitting, punching and throwing household objects at her husband as she became "increasingly controlling and manipulative" in the last few years of their union.

According to Kidd, his wife had tracking devices installed on his cars and computers and has harassed his trainer, friends and family.

Man that's some good stuff right there! Somewhere Doug Christie is feeling more of a man today. Look she's in the entertainment industry and basically anyone with a headshot is crazy, but usually the craziness is manageble.

To me Joumana Kidd was the Eva Longoria of 2001-02. Every time the Nets were on, the camera would show her and that big-headed kid of theirs. She came off as the typical gravy-training mother/wife, using the kid to get face time and using Kidd to get a NBA TV gig. She even drove one of my favorite basketball columnists, Bob Ryan, crazy with her antics. He almost lost his job when he suggested that Jason Kidd smack her for gravy-training her sons exposure at Nets games.

Hmmm, I wonder if Kidd might be text messaging Ryan an apology right now.

Obviously, with Kidd's lawyer going public with this, you have to expect some response from Joumana Kidd. So will Kidd be kissing his middle finger before shooting a freethrow? Stay tuned...

Photos: Vinsane

by Craig Kwasniewski

The many faces of Vince Carter...

The man had an awesome game trying to carry his team to victory on Friday night. He scored the Nets' final 13 points in the process of dropping 43. He came up short, as none of the rest of his teammates scored in the final 7:24 on their way to a 103-92 loss to Miami.

Here's some cool pics from the game. The last one is telling. I'm thinking he may want to work on his poker face a little more after a loss. Look, I know the man wears his emotions on his sleeve, but you need to stop the posing after every dunk, Vince! This is bringing back memories of the C-Webb playoff scowl, and we all know how that ended.

Uncle Spliffy

by Craig Kwasniewski

17-Year veteran Clifford Robinson has been suspended five games for violating the terms of the anti-drug program. By violating the NBA's drug policy Uncle Cliffy Robinson will miss the remainder of the New Jersey Nets' playoff series against the Miami Heat.

So Cliffy, you couldn't put down the bong for three more weeks? The Nets' season will be over and done by Memorial Day, all you had to do was wait 16 days to fire up the spliff at your barbecue.

It's not like Cliffy is the clutch playoff performer that will take the Nets to the finals, in fact he's always been mostly a playoff choker throughout his career (14.6 ppg in regular season vs. 11.0 ppg. in the playoffs).

What New Jersey lost was another big to throw at Shaq. He's still quicker than Shaq and could draw a few offensive fouls guarding the Diesel. The Nets lose 25 quality minutes and have to scamble to fill the spot with shooting forward Lamond Murray (He's still in the league?) and power forward John Thomas (Who?). Mix in Jefferson's injury and suddenly the momentum of the series has shifted.

Way to lead by example Clifford!

Three Games, Three Takes

by Brett Edwards

Three games in the NBA last night, here are some thoughts on each of them:

DET at MIA: Get used to seeing that picture again. A predictable Pistons win with the Heat missing J-Will, Posey, and Mourning. They are in serious trouble come playoff time if they don't get those guys back healthy. They really missed J-Will, who is apparently the only one on the team that can get the ball over half court in under eight seconds. The Heat were whistled twice for violations.

MIA is a one and a half man team right now, the one being Wade and the half being Shaq. At this point in his career, Shaq is simply a dunking machine. Anytime he's forced into making a move he commits an offensive foul, and when he takes an uncontested 5-foot jump hook he can't hit it. Unless they get everyone else back, there may be a second round loss in the Heat's future.

LAL at DEN: With Odom and Kwame continuing their recent decent play, and with Kobe dropping 42, the Lakers should win against a team that's mailing it in, right? Wrong. Devean George allowed Carmelo to hit a wide open 20- footer in OT to win it for the Nuggets. Hey Devean, seen any tape on Denver this season? Seen all of Carmelo's game winners, and notice that they're all jumpers? Why are you playing him to drive when everyone in the building knows he's going to take a jump-shot? Oh yeah, because you suck.

CHA at NJ: The nets continue their playoff tune-up by winning their 14th straight. This is the longest winning streak in the league this season, and while I don't think the Nets are that great, they do seem to be peaking at the right time. And based on the fact that MIA has injury problems and can't seem to guard VC (39 per game average vs. the Heat this season), the Nets have a legitimate shot of beating the Heat in the second round like J-Kidd beats Joumana.

What to Watch

by Craig Kwasniewski

The cold is starting to thaw, the trade deadline has passed, the All-Star Game is in our rear view mirror.... shhhhh can you smell it? It's Rivalry Week!!!

I hope y'all put up decorations and sent out cards.

Anyway, the NBA decided to put together some interesting "rivalry" match-ups this week. But seriously, are there any true NBA rivalries out there? I consider the Lakers-Kings a decent one because the people of Sacramento despise Los Angeles. Detroit-Indiana had potential until Artest was shipped out West.

Anyway, ESPN will carry two "rivalry" games tonight. Here's why you may want to watch them (all times are Pacific):

New Jersey @ New York 5:00 PM: This will be Stevie Franchise's Knicks debut. The honeymoon period begins as you will see both Francis and Marbury try extra hard to coexist. Several possessions will consist of both passing back and forth with the following exchange:

"Here you go Stevie, take the shot!"
"No, that's okay, you take the shot!"
"No, I insist, you are wide open, take the shot."
"No, no, no, I'm the new guy... you take the shot"
"Be my guest, I'll take the next one."
"Oh but I couldn't...." (BRRRRAAAAHHHHH - The 24 second shot clock expires, Jalen Rose is banging his head with Larry Brown's clipboard)

Actually, this game should bring back a playoff-type buzz to the old MSG. But remember, a few weeks ago Marbury claimed to be a better point guard than Kidd. Somehow I think the Kidd-Carter-Jefferson trio will win this game easily.

L.A. Lakers @ L.A. Clippers 7:30 PM: Injuries are taking a toll as the Clippers have lost five in a row. Having NBA Lottery withdrawal, Elgin Baylor, has made two very questionable deals in acquiring Vlad Radmanovic and Vin Baker. This will hurt the team's chemistry. With Maggette and Quinton Ross injured, coach Dunleavy is forced to start Shaun Livingston at small forward. This makes the Clippers weak at the defensive end of the court. Vin Baker DNPCD will make his Clipper home debut tonight.

The Lakers came off an impressive 106-85 victory over Sacramento last night. This was a huge victory as the Lakers, Kings and Rockets will all be competing for the eighth playoff spot in the West. They played their best defense of the season and Kobe dropped a season high 10 assists.

The Lakers are not a good team in back-to-back games and I see a potential letdown game after the Sactown victory. The Clippers need to win the game and they will.

Game of the Night

by Craig Kwasniewski

To help you deal the ridiculous post-Super Bowl hype (Bill Cower is one of the greatest coaches in the history of the NFL, Jerome Bettis-one of the top five RB's in the history of the NFL, Ben Roethlisberger will win five Super Bowls in the next two years, Hines Ward can cure AIDS, Joey Porter should have his own late night talk show.....blahhhhhhhh)

Where was I? Oh yeah, to help you with all the post-SB hype/bullshit, I found a good game to check out tonight.

NOOCH at New Jersey 4:30 PM (Pacific)

The Hornets are one of the league's pleasant surprises. At 24-22, they sit seventh in the playoff order. Chris Paul leads an up-tempo style that's worth watching. Averaging 16.6 points, 5.6 rebounds and 7.7 assists per game, he is running away with the rookie-of-the-year award.

Surprisingly, New Jersey is not the up-tempo team of a few years ago. Evidently, The Vinsanity prefers a more half-court style of game. We can all understand, right? I'll take the tough half-court baskets with 5 defenders closing in over break away dunks off sick passes from Jason Kidd any day. Whatever. Still, I see NOOCH drawing the Nets into an open game.

A media spin for the game would be Byron Scott's second return to the swamp, but who watches games for average coaches. I somehow don't see anyone breaking out a "retro" Byron Scott NJ Nets coach's clipboard for this one.

Added bonus, on DirecTV the game is probably carried by the New Jersey Nets feed which brings the best announcer in the game, Marv Albert. There's always a "big game" feel when he calls a game.