The Association

The Return from March Madness to Playoff Madness

By Craig Kwasniewski

First off, The Association Blog is not Dead... I just decided that with my annual March Madness trip to Vegas and the playoffs right around the corner this would be a good time to take a NBA break to charge up the batteries. So expect a full-blown return to NBA-wide (read: NOT all Lakers all day) opinions and angles firing off tomorrow. Plus I'm looking to add a new/old wrinkle to the site as the season winds down, but I'll expand on that later.

Until then, I can't stress enough: GO TO VEGAS FOR THE FIRST ROUND OF THE NCAA TOURNEY!!!!

32 games in 48 hours, 4 games at a time from 9 AM to 10 PM with waitresses serving you comped bevs as you have action on every game... pure heaven. Parlays, teasers, libations, greasy fast food, table games, Screwdrivers, Coronas, Red Bull Vodkas and the occasional cigar... pure heaven. Even if you know nothing about the field of 65 just plunk down a few bucks on every game and sit back, relax (or stress as every game comes down to the opening line) and enjoy... pure heaven. Anyway, bring on the NBA Playoffs!

Na-na-naaaaahhh nahh...

By Craig Kwasniewski

Naahh na-nahhhh!!!

Congratulations to Anderson Varejao and Florida Gators for winning back-to-back NCAA titles.

Now let's get back to real business, like tanking in the NBA for 35-year-old Greg Oden.

March Madness: Thursday Morning Diary

By Craig Kwasniewski

I'm in Vegas for the annual March Madness trip (11 years and counting). Here's a breakdown of the Thursday morning games (all times Pacific):

We're watching all the games at the Las Vegas Hilton sportsbook. This place is well organized with tables and chairs everywhere for March Madness. The tables are great for laying out newpapers, stats and several bottles of beer. Mix in the better ventilation, food and sparse amounts rednecks... this is a huge step up from the Stardust.

7:50 AM: No breakfast, no coffee and we start off the day with a shot of Jack.

Lucky me, the guy behind us obviously did five pounds of blow this morning and is all lathered up. He's yelling out the tee-shirts of people walking by:

"Boise State!!! Statue of Liberty! You da man!!!"
"Terps...terps...wassup baby?!?"
"England, England, England... oi, oi, oi!!!"

8:20 AM: I'm in line for breakfast and I overhear a phrase that should never be uttered in a sportsbook, "standard deviation." Let's keep it simple people. I've had 4 hours of sleep, a shot of Jack is burning my stomach and I haven't had my morning coffee or even breakfast. You're betting college hoops, not grading papers.

The games haven't even started and we've already seen two alcoholic beverage spills, and it wasn't even us. There are tables and chairs all over the place with little walking room. People are constantly bumping tables and knocking over drinks. There may be an All-Star weekend-type riot before the end of the day.

9:05 AM: The sportsbook is cheering the opening credits for the CBS broadcast, we're all fired up.

9:10 AM: Screwdriver #1 goes down. Does Sunny Delight and Vodka pass as breakfast?

9:15 AM: The games are under way with Davidson v. Maryland. My Davidson +7 bet feels better when I realize that they're coached by Robert Schuler... god is on my side!!!

9:26 AM: The Davidson Pull are jacking up threes left and right and play a fun up-tempo style. They're not hitting anything, but that doesn't stop them... PULL!!!

9:28 AM: Screwdriver #2 and Boston College v. Texas Tech is on. New rule: white guys should never wear headbands. Didn't we already learn our lesson from the Jason Kapono era at UCLA?

9:31 AM: The entire BC squad went with headbands. NOTHING is more intimidating than headbands. Why Texas Tech even showed up is beyond me.

9:41 AM: The Stanford v. Louisville game is on. The Cardinal (the color not the bird, as we're told a million times) can't seem to hang with the Cardinals' (the bird not the color) frenetic pace and looked lost. Can somebody please tell me how the Cardinal (the color) made the tourney?

9:45 AM: "He is a terrific penetrator!!!" Jay Bilas breaks out the line of the weekend, and we're not even one hour into the games.

9:48 AM: Have I mentioned that the Davidson Pulls like to jack up threes? They are 6-14 from downtown, in the first eight minutes. Pull!!!

9:50 AM: Are Michael Jordan and Kevin Bacon roommates or life partners? MJ's coming off as the jilted one with the way he treating The Bacon. Dial it down a little and let KB throw away his trash.

9:55 AM: That Tiger Woods Wii commercial is pretty funny, but then I realized... Tiger Woods is going bald! Couldn't they us that spray-on hair to cover up the bald spot on top of his dome? Why not CGI some hair in post production? This is Tiger Woods not a used car salesman.

10:03 AM: CBS officially puts the Stanford-Louisville game in the fridge, switching feeds with 8 minutes left in the half. Is this a record time for a team from a major conference? Again, can someone please tell me why Stanford made the tourney?

10:06 AM: First outburst in the sportsbook as a buzzer beating tip-in by BC covers the first half line. A few high fives and f-bombs follow... this is why March Madness in Vegas rules.

10:16 AM: Halftime for two games and we're forced to watch the Stanford game. I'm watching "How I Met Your Mother" commercials instead. The game was that bad.

CBS studio producers yelling in the ear pieces at halftime, "Smile dammit! Smile!!"

10:31 AM: There's something about cheerleaders in turtlenecks. I can't quite put a finger on it (but I'd like to put my whole hand on them... bah-dum-dum)... sue me, I'm drunk.

10:36 AM: The third spilled drink of the day.

10:37 AM: Davidson takes an eight point lead off a sweet layup following a niiice 20-foot bounce pass. Timeout Maryland,

10:39 AM: The BC-TT game is back and forth, this has buzzer beater potential.

10:40 AM: You gotta love the Katie Couric commercial with the "Don't you fucking know who I am?" snarling smile. I bet she breaks that out when the line at Starbucks is five deep.

10:49 AM: Maryland goes on a run and ties the game at 52. The Pulls just countered with a three as I'm writing this. Maryland has kicked up the defensive intensity coming out of the TO.

10:53 AM: I don't have the audio to the Maryland game, but the Davidson student section needs to break out a "Darrrryyylll... Darrrryyylll!!!" chant for Maryland's DJ Strawberry.

11:00 AM: Fear the Fro - Davidson can't stop Maryland's Ben Wallace Jr. (Bombay Osby). He's starting to take over the game. Coach Shuler need to put together the right sermon during the next TV timeout to counter.

11:07 AM: Maryland has taken control of the game. Very impressive how they did it: wait out the Davidson run, crank up the defense and pound the ball down low on offense. Excellent adjustments by coach Williams... just don't cover the 7.

11:12 AM: My friend Dean (who took Texas Tech +3) is trying to reverse jinx the game yelling, "It's over! BC covers!!!" with Tech only down five with 2 minutes left.

11:16 AM: The reverse jinx fails. I win my first bet with BC -2.5.

11:26 AM: The sportsbook is going nuts as Maryland covers the -7 with a 12 point win. This is more like an "I told you so" cheer as the game ends. These are people who bet on Maryland and were gripping for 2/3 of the game as Davidson kept it close.

The first three games come to and end. The Davidson-Maryland game was the most fun to watch, Texas Tech-BC had zero defense (surprising considering the coaches involoved) and the Louisville-Stanford one was an abortion.

(More to come later)

Thursday TNT Action (March Madness: Day 1)

By Craig Kwasniewski

Well here we are at the "beautiful" and "luxurious" Sahara Hotel surrounded by "hotties" left and right losing money in Keno at the "cafe." (I'd add more quotations as in "dancers" and "libations", but I think you get the point.) Part of the charm of March Madness in Vegas is staying at the old school dumps hotels. Every year since we started doing this thing, we've been watching the first round games at the Stardust Hotel. Sadly enough, they blew up "The Dust" last Tuesday (couldn't they wait just two more freakin' days?). So we took the next best dump cheap hotel place, the Sahara Hotel.

The Sahara brings the funk big time. The highlight was a tie between my burnt pancakes at 10:00 PM (who the hell burns pancakes???) and the wheelchair bound fat lady with one movable arm, pumping cigarettes and playing slots... good times. (My friend Dean, always the positive one, best summed up the room, "Hey at least they have new phones.")

Anyway, the NCAA games fire off in a few hours. Expect a first round March Madness diary from Vegas sometime later today. Until then, here's a quick peek at the NBA on TNT (all times Pacific):

Miami @ New Jersey (5:00 PM): Is Miami on every single Thurday night? It's almost like the schedulers at TNT knew that Shaq would be back from the Shaquries (fake injuries) and ready to go for the final stretch. Does anyone really want to see Miami in November in full mail-it-in mode? Me neither... this explains Miami Madness on TNT in March and April.

So does New Jersey even have a chance in this one? On paper they still have J-Kidd, Vinsanity and Jefferson, a formidible team... on paper. In reality, you have a motivated Heat gaining momentum with the playoffs around the corner with a reeling New Jersey team looking to earn the final spot in the weakened east.

With Shaq actually trying and Antoine Walker hitting game winners, the Nets have no chance tonight. Miami wins 94-83.

LA Lakers @ Denver (7:30 PM): Will the Lakers ever win again? Here's a bigger question; why the hell did I put down $$ for playoff tickets? At least there's a Laker worthy of an injury: Brian Cook went down with a twisted ankle last Tuesday and will miss the game. One down, Smush Parker to go.

Anyway, Luke Walton returns from extended vaginal inflammation and Lamar Odom will suit up with a torn labrum (ouch!). I see chemistry issues tonight. You can't miss so many games and expect instant success. Even though Denver has it's own issues (zero defense, a coach willing to throw his players under the bus, Carmelo Anthony chemistry problems) I see a close game with Denver winning 110-103.

March Madness: Day 2

by Craig Kwasniewski

(Updated at 8:35 PM)

After hitting screwdrivers and Coronas since 9:00 AM, the body's slowing up a little. So I thought I'd head up to the room for water and an update.

Here's a breakdown of Day 2: The First 16 Games

9:30 AM: The action starts. There's a buzz in the sportsbook. Guys are "blowing their wads" on the first 3 buckets, hooting and hollering with the score at 4-2. Easy guys... there's 38 minutes left in the game (or 18 minutes in the half for the 1st half wagers.) You can always tell the March Madness virgins by how much the cheer the opening tip.

11:00 AM: There's a bomb scare in Cox Arena. Seriously, are the terrorists going to blow up the Alabama-Marquette game? I IMMEDIATELY put money on Marquette because the necks from Alabama are scared of the big city (culture, racial diversity, bomb scares). I'm guessing that they'll be worrying about dying during the game.

(Late Note: Marquette lost, ending my 5 game streak (Montana +5.5, Pacific 1st Half +4, Wisc-Milwaukee +2.5, Winthrop +6.5, BC -4) I made of the mistake of betting with my emotions.)

11:50 AM: The BC game has the place buzzing! Favored by 8, they send the game into OT, giving everybody a second chance for a BC cover (I just can't see BC outscoring Pacific by 8 in five minutes, put keep hope alive). Webb of Pacific kills BC with 2 El Juevos Gigantes three pointers off fast breaks. My friend Dan takes 30 minutes to get a round of beers. The blackjack table must have tackled him on the way back.

12:05 PM: Double OT for BC. Somehow Pacific couldn't put them away. Everybody is on their feet as they get a third chance at BC covering.

12:15 PM: BC IS AMAZING!!! They end up outscoring Pacific by 12 in the second OT. The guy next to me (who's a dead ringer for Slim Pickens) almost flips his chair celebrating the cover. I'm guessing he won $5.

SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT: There's a reason why the Sportsbook gives free drinks with every bet. My friend Dan bets against himself not once, but twice. ($11 on both S. Alabama and Florida and $11 on Seton Hall and Wichita St.). This is not a rookie mistake, he's been doing the March Madness vegas trip for 11 years. I buy a round of drinks to encourage more mistakes.

1:00 PM: The over-under of CBS taking a "live look-in" right into a commercial 275. I'm taking the over.

1:15 PM: The NBA posts their injury report. Michael Olowokandi is listed as doubtful for "dental" reasons. The guy was the #1 pick overall in the 1998 draft and he's missing games because of a tooth ache? Somewhere Benoit Benjamin is laughing.

2:23 PM: Tennessee hits a 18 foot baseline jumper flying out of bounds for a 2 point winner. Why am I happy? Because I had Winthrop +6.5 and there's no OT for the Vols to cover.

4:30 PM: To the shock of nobody, the redneck group who were dropping "they" and "those people" when talking about the black players were sporting a "Ags for Bush" t-shirt. Ladies and gentleman the 35% who approve!

6:40 PM: That "worthless" layup by Xavier at the buzzer to end the game down by four... not worthless here! Xavier was +5.5 over Gonzaga. Lots of pissed off Zag fans.

7:30 PM: On the Illinois-Air Force feed, CBS goes to an extended "live look-in" of the Duke game. A rash of "CBS sucks" and "Fuck Duke" is heard throughout the sportsbook. Seriously, does anyone really need to see Duke roll by 30 in the first round? Anybody? CBS should just cut to the chase and change the name from "live look-in" to "24 hours of Duke."

8:30 PM: Dilemma that's not really a dilemma: I have 7 drink tickets in my pocket that expire at midnight. We are leaving the Dust for the LV Hilton. Since I'm hitting a bad streak (4 losses in a row) I feel the need to "use" all the drink tickets. If I die from alcohol poison tonight, Brett you have my Laker tickets!

March Madness: Day 1

by Craig Kwasniewski

Alcohol, strippers, gambling, alcohol, hookers... VEGAS! My favorite time to be in Vegas, 32 NCAA games in 48 hours, pure heaven! So I'm taking a little break in NBA posts to bring you the NCAA Vegas Experience. Bear with me, I'll be "under the influence" for all the entries.

Here's a breakdown of Day 1: The Journey to Vegas

7:30 PM: Mad scrable to Burbank Airport for my 9:15 flight. This is the last flight to Vegas and with typical LA traffic, there's always the chance I may miss the flight. The extra bonus is that the last flight is "The Stripper Flight." LA Strippers take this flight to do some weekend work in Vegas. I spot at least three strippers on my flight (the 5 inch heels, small handbag and fake boobs are a dead giveaway)

9:00 PM: Incident at the airport security checkpoint. Nazi-guy "HIGHLY RECOMMENDS" that I remove my shoes. I'm not forced to remove them, I'm just "HIGHLY RECOMMENDED." Screw you, I'm rockin' the Crazy-8's not the Mad Terrorists. I'm delayed for 20 minutes as security takes a cotton swab to my shoes. They tried to make it tough on me because I refused to remove my shoes, but I whistle out loud to show them that I don't care.

9:30 PM: Up and away on the 30 minute flight to Vegas. (Is there any other way to go?) I down a brew just to get a head start.

10:30 PM: To avoid the 1 hour line for a taxi, we take a $45 limo to the hotel (Stardust - old school all the way!). Along the way the driver points out all the full nude strip clubs. "That one over there is full nude... tip the doorman and you can bring in booze. The second floor has prostitutes!" (I LOVE VEGAS!) Side strip club advice: NEVER go to a strip club that a taxi/limo driver suggests. They get kickbacks and take you to some shitty places.

11:00 PM: Our first Elvis sighting of the trip. Not even 2 minutes at the hotel and we see an Elvis impersonator in the Stardust Lounge. BTW - talk about the pinnacle of your music career... Wednesday at midnight at the Stardust Hotel Lounge!

12:00 AM: Double fisting beers and making bets for the free t-shirt. The Dust has this sweet March Madness tee with a bracket on the back. A $20 4-team teaser bet gets you a "free" shirt. (Syracuse +3, BC -4, Iona +11, Air Force +13)

1:00 AM: We all roll to Denny's for grub and it's off to bed. Call me a pussy for the early sleep but we have to get up at 6:00 AM to save seats in the sportsbook. Normally we gamble till the witching hour.

7:00 AM: "SHIT!" I oversleep and miss the wake-up call. Luckily one of my sicko gambling friends got to the sportsbook at 5:00 to get us some seats. The moment I sit down I realize... I am surrounded by rednecks. That's the single downside to Vegas, 50% of the people here are mouth breathing, wife beating, cow tipping (thanks Dan), tobacco dipping REDNECKS! Anyway, I placed my morning bets and got the drink tickets (a free beverage with every bet) and I'm ready to go...

Some early bets:
Winthrop +6.5
Wisconsin-Milwaukee +2.5
Pacific 1st Half +4

I'll try to post more later if I'm sober enough.... GO PURDUE!!! (next year)