The Association

My Trip to The Palace of Auburn Hills

by Brett Edwards

I was lucky enough to be in Detroit for Friday night's Pistons game vs. the Bulls, and it was an awesome experience. Here are some thoughts on the trip:

My Seat: The Palace is a killer NBA arena. Granted, I've only been to four other ones: the old Forum where the Lakers used to play, the old Sports Arena (Clippers), Staples Center (Lakers/Clippers), and America West (Suns), but this one is great. Of course, it didn't hurt that my seats were basically five rows from the floor, just back and to the left of where Jeff Van Gundy and Mike Breen were sitting to call the game. There are courtside seats that go four rows deep, then an aisle, then a riser where the rest of the seats start to go up, and I was in the first row of the riser. Not bad. Side note: Jeff Van Gundy in person is really ... bald.

The introduction of the starting lineups for the Pistons was maybe the coolest thing like that that I've ever seen. I don't know if it was being that close to it, Mason's enthusiasm, or the fire balls shooting up behind the baskets, but all I can say is, it was fucking dramatic. Similar footage has probably been posted a million times, but here's the video from where I was sitting.

Automotion, the Pistons' cheerleaders: On a scale of 1-10, these girls average a 6. They fall into the classic "good from far, far from good" category. They are all thin and mildly attractive, but heavily made-up and they could all use some time in the gym doing some toning exercises. I know this because they were all walking back and forth in the aisle right and front of me the entire game. The bright side is that they were all very nice, giving us free programs that they had left over from passing them out to the courtside folks. And when they changed into their final outfit of the night which consisted of tight white spandex pants and halter tops, I actually decided to upgrade the average to a six-and-a-half.

Hooper, the Pistons' mascot: Maybe it's because I've never followed a team closely where a mascot was a prominent part of the act, but I just don't get the fascination with Hooper, the (horse?) dude that is in the costume running around firing up the crowd. Seriously, every fan seemed to love this thing... he it would walk by, and literally everyone was yelling things like, "Hey, Hooper! What's up, Hooper?!! Come here, Hooper!!!!!! HOOOOOOOPERRRR!!!!!" As Craig might say, "We Want Tacos" level excitement.

The Game: Unlike seemingly every arena in the NBA, the Pistons actually let the game speak for itself. What I mean by this is, there isn't constant noise being pumped in to entertain/occupy the crowd during the game. It's actually quiet: no music, no piped in defense chants, no race car sounds, nothing. Perhaps that's why Mason is overly exuberant with his call of the game. He and the team are the entertainment, not a bunch of noise that has nothing to do with the action. It was very refreshing, and I wish more teams would go back to that.

As for the contest, It was close the entire time, but the Pistons couldn't overcome TERRIBLE nights from Tayshaun and McDyess. Each contributed only four points, but McDyess was way worse because the Bulls kept leaving him open, to the point where I lost my voice in the fourth quarter screaming "STOP SHOOTING!!" after he'd fire up another brick when he was wide open. I know Maxiell was in foul trouble, but I would have liked to see more of him in the fourth instead of McDyess.

Tayshuan didn't seem to have the energy on this night, he was scored on twice down the stretch, once refusing to get out on Duhon when he mad a big three. As the ball swung to Duhon in the corner (basically right in front of where I was sitting), I yelled at Tayshaun to get out there, but he only took like a half step, didn't get a hand up, and Duhon nailed the three. *SIGH*

The Pistons have no one that can cover Nocioni. He had a big game, hitting threes and getting to the basket seemingly at will.

Joakim Noah is actually decent. He's like a controlled version of Anderson Varejao, and I mean that as a compliment. He brings the same energy, but instead of running around like a madman flopping into everyone and being only mildly effective, he's patient with it and makes a lot of good hustle plays around the basket.

The only down side to the evening was the fact that the Pistons lost, but then again they always lose to the Bulls in the regular season (5 out of the last 6). Other than that, it was a very exciting night at The Palace.

Charles Oakley Will Not Play for "Bullsh-- Money"

by Brett Edwards

There's a phenomenal interview with Charles Oakley over at ESPN.com, where Oak is probed about the reasons for his attempting a comeback at the age of 43. There's a good chance that money is the main motivator, but considering it's Oakley we're talking about, it could just as easily be about his desire to slap some of the younger players around a bit. Either way, more of Charles Oakley in front of a microphone is always a good thing. Here's a sampling of some of the more riveting commentary from the interview:

Your pal Jordan knows a thing or two about comebacks. What advice has he given you?

MJ is my best friend. He respects me as a friend (regardless) of what I want to do. He says, "If they going to pay you, you come back. If they're not going to pay you, don't." I'm not going to come back for no veteran's minimum. I'm coming back for a good salary. You can't buy me. Money can't buy me. But I'm not coming back for no bull---- money.

OK then, what is not "bull---- money"?

At least two years, $10 million. Nine or 10 million. I'm not coming back for a million and five. My value is worth more than that.

That's a lot of money, Oak. Is this comeback about money?

It's not about money. Money is a part of the comeback, but you can't buy me. It's something I'd be happy with, but I can get you more than what you paid for. I'll give you three-times your money.

You're often spotted in Vegas and it's well known that you like to gamble. Is your comeback attempt at all related to gambling?

No, it's not about gambling. I have money. I have six car washes. I have one that's worth $10 million, one that's worth $5 million. You know, like, I'm probably worth $25 million dollars in assets.

You hear that, General Managers? Oakley WILL NOT PLAY FOR BULLSHIT MONEY! Honestly, I'm not sure Oakley would pass a drug test at this point if he thinks anyone in the league would pay him $20 mil over two years. It's obvious that Oak would provide some toughness and some entertainment to any team that would sign him, I just don't know if any of it would be seen on the basketball court.

[via True Hoop]

A Big Question for Scott Skiles

By Craig Kwasniewski

Why didn't you put in Tyrus Thomas to stave off the Pistons' run in the third quarter?

So the Pistons flipped the switch in the third quarter, Sheed's flying all over the place on defense (I haven't seen him play that hard on D in years), the Bulls are looking for any kind of offense (Deng misses a bunny that would have ended the run), the United Center is going from the "come on!!!!" cheer to straight up flatline... all this and Chicago still has a small lead, but you can sense it, the Pistons will probably take the lead soon.

So why the hell was Tyrus Thomas sitting on the pine?

The Bulls needed to mix it up, seek some energy, something! Even though Thomas wasn't as good as he was in game 2 (BTW-that block in the 1st quarter was legit!), the Bulls needed to try anything to shift the momentum. Instead, old man PJ Brown, who's having a good game, but he's not the type of game changer that Tyrus Thomas could be in the near future, is on the floor and missing freethrows. (BTW2 - I thought Brown had a decent game, though according to Mike Breen, he was the next Karl Malone.)

Did Skiles completely throw away the tapes from game 2? Thomas's athleticism and size killed the Piston bigs (who are older and slower and would be considered the Pistons' weakness except that the only bigs left that are better are Duncan and Amare). He was able to weave in and out of the zone as though nobody was there and jumped over everyone. I can see why the Bulls let Chandler go, Thomas is the same guy with offensive potential. Thomas should have played 30 minutes last night.

Instead, in the biggest game of the Bulls season, in the middle of blowing a 19-point lead at home, Scott Skiles goes "Hoosiers" with "my team's on the floor?" Dude, you gotta go down with guns blazing, take a chance. It's like game 7 in baseball; the ENTIRE pitching staff is available!

Why?

David Stern: Send Dick Bavetta to New Jersey, Stat!

By Craig Kwasniewski

David Stern's worst nightmare is about to happen and only Dick Bavetta can save the day.

There's a very real chance that Dwyane Wade and LeBron James could face off in the first round of the playoff unless "some NBA magic" happens Wednesday night. Right now both Chicago and Cleveland sit at 49-32 with the Bulls owning the tiebreaker. So if the playoffs started today, Chicago with the two seed faces Washington while Cleveland is matched up against Miami (with the freethrow over/under per game set at 150). This is not good news for the NBA offices in NYC.

Basketbawful put it best when he emailed me:

I'm telling you, David Stern is FREAKING OUT right now. I'm going to TiVo the Bulls game on Wednesday... I can almost guarantee that the Nets will be getting some serious home cooking that night, since, if the Bulls lose, the Cavs will be the 2-seed. Believe me, it's going to happen.

I agree, there's no way the NBA will allow Wade and LeBron to face up so early in the playoffs. This goes against Stern's master plan (The one he hatched during the Detroit-Cleveland series last year where he decided to bank the future of the NBA on the burgeoning Wade-LeBron rivalry. After Detroit's easy 2-0 lead, LeBron started living at the freethrow line, almost beating Detroit in game 7. And don't get me started on D-Wade... let's just say, this is the same time people became familiar with the phrase, "the Wade treatment.")

Anyway, don't be surprised if Dick Bavetta is reffing the Bulls-Nets game on Wednesday night.

Ben Wallace Traded to Celtics?

By Craig Kwasniewski

When did the Celtics trade for Ben Wallace? Didn't the trade deadline pass by a few weeks ago? Damn, I better break down this blockbuster fast!

Well that's what I thought when I first saw the photos of Ben Wallace wearing green with a shamrock on his shooting shirt. According to their website, "for one week every year the Bulls celebrate the Irish holiday with special green jerseys."

If that wasn't confusing enough, the Bulls played the Celtics last night, winning 95-87. After a few beers, the game looked like a preseason inter-squad game. Talk about a cruel joke; drunken, angry Celtics fans turning on the game had to be thinking that the C's acquired Gordon, Deng, Heinrich and Wallace for the rest of the season. New rule: teams with special edition green jerseys can never play the Boston Celtics. My head was spinning.

Anyway, the Knicks, Bulls and Celtics are wearing the special edition jerseys for the next week. The concept of completely altering team colors for a special edition jersey seems like a desperate ploy to make some extra dough from sucker fans.

That didn't keep me from buying a Knicks St. Patrick's Day Cap for $21.99. Hypocrite!

Photos: Headband Hypocrisy

By Craig Kwasniewski

Message to the Chicago Bulls: If you're going to ban and subsequently fine Ben Wallace for sporting a headband during a game you should probably stop using a headband-clad Wallace in your ads.

I found a few photos of Big Ben sporting the taboo headband on the Bulls Store website. As I wrote yesterday, "Why ban headbands and who really cares?" There are much worse things a player can do, so why not look the other way and allow the under achieving power forward to wear the damn cloth. Maybe then he'll grab a rebound, unlike last Friday against the Sixers.

Anyway, here's the Bulls ad showing the headband on Wallace followed by some photos of Wallace against the Knicks breaking the law:

Opening Night!

by Brett Edwards

The 2006-07 season tips off tonight, with two games nationally televised. Here are some predictions and things to watch for in tonight's match-ups:

Bulls vs. Heat : Miami gets their rings tonight, and they also get the new look Bulls, with free agent Ben Wallace starting at center. Historically, the team that has to sit through all of the ring ceremony bullshit has a little extra motivation to go out and smack the defending champs. But since there is no real rivalry between CHI and MIA (save B Wallace v. Shaq), and because this is probably the only regular season game the Heat will actually exert any effort in, I'm taking the Heat to win this one 98-90.

Suns vs. Lakers : This is a rematch of last year's epic seven game series in the first round of the playoffs. The Suns overcame a 3-1 deficit, and an amazing win by the Lakers to take the series. Now they get Amare Stoudamire back, who "if healthy" (the eternal qualifier) could get the Suns to the Finals. The Lakers, meanwhile, start the season with injury problems. Kobe has only had one or two full court scrimmages since his off season knee surgery, so even if he plays tonight (he says he will), he won't have the explosiveness we're used to seeing. Also, Andrew Bynum will be starting at center for the Lakers, due to the unavailability of Chris Mihm and Kwame Brown. Even with Shawn Marion dinged up, I see the Suns taking this one fairly easily, 108-93.

Reignman No More

By Craig Kwasniewski

Shawn Kemp's return to the NBA looks to be over before it even started. According to the Chicago Tribune, "Shawn Kemp's planned workout at the Berto Center never materialized Monday, and it's unlikely the six-time NBA All-Star will receive another invitation from the Bulls."

I realize that it's not like Kemp would be anything close to the Reignman era from the 1990's. The player strike in 1999, a consumption of copious amounts of food and a George Gervin-level cocaine habit killed the Reignman. But with Kukoc retiring and Kemp's return ending, it just reminds me that the 1990's NBA is long gone.

Now I won't eulogize Kemp's career today, but I need to remind you how dominant the guy was. You can easily describe his game as the Amare Stoudemire of the 1990's. (The pre-surgery Amare... damn I hope he returns to form.) Kemp didn't have a dynamic game, rather it was a combination of force and athleticism. Simply he jumped over you and threw the ball down as hard as he can. The clip below shows one of the most famous dunks from the 1990's, the playoff jam over Alton Lister:

Even if Kemp showed up to the workout in shape and ready to go, just how good of a player could he actually be? He's 36, recovering from several run-ins with the law (including a July 21st Marijuana possession arrest) and has not played in the NBA since 2002-03... I'm not expecting much if anything. I'm just rekindling memories.

Here's some good links for Shawn Kemp news:

Busted: Shawn Kemp Arrested with Pot (www.truehoop.com shows Kemp pulling a 180 on his "recovery")

Reignman.com - The official website of Shawn Kemp (Does every damn player has his own website? Still, there's some cool highlight vids and pics here.)

Video results for Shawn Kemp (YouTube search results for Shawn Kemp highlights. There's a lot of compilation vids.)

Kukoc to Retire

By Craig Kwasniewski

The last active player from the Chicago Bulls Dynasty of the 1990's is about to retire. According to yahoo.com, "NBA veteran Toni Kukoc is likely to retire after failing to interest the Milwaukee Bucks or Chicago Bulls in signing him."

This brings back some great memories from those Bulls teams. Immediately after Jordan announces his first retirement, Kukoc came to the Bulls in 1993-94 as a villain to Scottie Pippen. Jerry Krause paid more money to the unproven European player than the Bulls' All-Star forward. With Jordan gone, Pippen fuming at the front office and Phil Jackson's disdain for rookie players (and stereotypical Euro basketball traits), Kukoc's rookie season had the markings for disaster. So what did he do?

He responded and became the team's fourth best player (behind Pippen, Horace Grant and B.J. Armstrong) and the best clutch player by the time the season was over. Three key moments told me what kind of player Kukoc was:

Christmas Day 1993: With Chicago playing the Orlando Magic in front of a national TV audience, Toni Kukoc floats a six-foot jump hook over Shaquille O’Neal with two seconds left for the 95-93 Chicago win. This was Toni's coming out party in a game meant to showcase Shaquille O'Neal.

Reggie Miller takes a Bow: On Jan. 21, 1994, against the Indiana Pacers. Reggie Miller sank a jumper with two seconds left to put his team up by one. Then Miller felt compelled to sprint to center court and bow to the fans in Chicago Stadium. But with 0.8 seconds left, Kukoc banked in the game winner. "I didn't ask for the bank. I wanted a straight shot," Coach Phil Jackson said after the game, with a wry smile. (from The Ten Greatest Bulls Shots)

Pippen Sits for the Final 1.8: In Game 3 against the Knicks in the 1994 NBA Eastern Conference Semifinals, Scottie Pippen refused to take the floor with 1.8 seconds remaining after Phil Jackson designed a potential game-winning play for Toni Kukoc rather than Pippen. All Kukoc did was calmly hit a fade-away three off a curl from the top of the key for the win.

Those plays earned Jordan's respect not for the results but more for the willingness to take the shots. Given that most European players tend to fade or disappear in the clutch, Kukoc was willing to step in. Along with Dirk Nowitzki I'd say that Kukoc's one of the best European players in the clutch to ever play in the NBA.

Not known for his defense or rebounding skills, Kukoc played the role of offensive facilitator in the Triangle Offense. When Jordan returned in 1995, Kukoc became the first player off the bench, eventually winning the 6th Man of the Year award in 1996.

Kukoc's last memorable performance as a Bull was in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals versus Indiana. Kukoc, playing in the first Game 7 of his career contributed 21 points, including 13 in the third quarter when no one else was producing. He kept the Bulls in the game as they outlasted the Pacers 88-83.

The past few seasons in Milwaukee, Kukoc was relegated to 15-20 mins a game, filling the role of "the waiter" (his European nickname) and dictating the offense while on the floor. I saw him play the Lakers last season and the Bucks offense was fluid with Kukoc on the floor. He found the right spots and helped keep the game close.

I was slightly hoping that Jackson would convince Kukoc to play one season with the Lakers this year. Maybe his playmaking skills in the Triangle could rub off on the likes of Odom, too bad.

So with Kukoc gone, the Bulls Dynasty of the 1990's is finally closed.

(Kukoc's Career Stats)

Wednesday Wrap Up

by Brett Edwards

Lots to talk about after last night's games, so here are some thoughts on what went down:

- Kobe dropped 40 on NOOC in what he deemed a "playoff game" in basketball's return to New Orleans. Unfortunately for you gamblers out there, Mr. Bavetta was unavailable and three no name refs were assigned to work the game. Yesterday's prediction inspired a wide variety of responses, including Gary Coleman bashing, references to xxx films, and people losing their house on the game. Maybe we should leave point spread picks to the professionals.

- Paul Pierce is going crazy. He survived the flying birds from two nights ago to get his 6th career triple double and lead the Celtics to a come from behind home win against the Sixers. Pierce is trying to single-handedly carry the Celtics into the playoffs, and he just might if this keeps up. BOS is only 3 1/2 games behind the struggling Bucks for the final spot in the East. Pierce is averaging over 33 a game over his last 14, second only to Kobe. Definitely make some time to watch Pierce in the next few days, he's playing at an incredible level right now.

- In a game facing teams heading in opposite directions, Sacramento went and beat Milwaukee, and finished their 5 game road trip with a 4-1 mark. Sacramento has won 8 of their last 11 games, while the Bucks have lost 7 of their last 9. I did predict that SAC would make a run and get into the playoffs, which they are on their way to doing. I also picked the Bucks as a surprise team that could make a run, so hey what do I know?

- There's no D in Washington. The Wizards gave up 118 in a close road loss to the Heat. D Wade dropped 40, and was pretty much unstoppable in the Heat win. In their last 5 games, the Wizards have allowed an average of 111 points and have gone 1-5 in those games. I know the Wizards pride themselves on their scoring ability, but come on guys, you gotta play a little D if you want to get into the playoffs.

- The Pistons got back to their winning ways, taking out the Bulls. This game was very un-Piston-like, as DET trailed by 7 at the half before storming back in the third. This was a pretty entertaining game, as CHI was able to put up 37 in the 4th quarter on the league's best D. This is where David Stern sent Dick Bavetta, no doubt to ensure the Pistons would stop getting screwed by the refs. Not surprisingly, there were no technicals this time around.
- For the second time in two games, the Cavs beat the Raptors. Toronto's MoPete hit a 3 with 5 seconds left to put the Raptors up 2, and proceeded to whoop it up with the rest of his team like they had just won the title. Maybe they should have saved some energy for defense on the last possession, as the Cavs' Damon Jones got a wide open look from the corner to win it. Hopefully Damon was able to get some consensual sex after the game.