How To Get Girls By Expressing Sympathy For Allen Iverson

by Brian Spaeth

Once upon a time, I was a veteran of the NBA blogosphere, primarily through this website.

Bear with me, because I'm doing a little blog tour with a bunch of my old NBA blog friends, and frankly, I'm a bit rusty. It took me four days to write this first post, and there's zero substance to it. (This actually isn't much different from what I used to do - I just was much faster back then.)

Anyway - I'm here today primarily to do two things:

1) Promote a movie. (Don't panic - Who Shot Mamba? has legit NBA/basketball ties.)

2) Have some sadness about my Allen Iverson and his possible signage with the Memphis Grizzlies.

The former is because I want people to watch the movie, and then later, buy the DVD of the movie. That way I can make lots of money at that, and go around being famous with a niche audience of +/-1500 men between the ages of 15 and - I dunno - 75.

The latter portion of my agenda is far more clear. Back in like May I said something on Twitter about how the end of Iverson's career was making me sad, and this girl who I'm in love with said that it showed a sensitive side of me she wasn't previously aware of.

This was a big day, because I'd never told anyone about my sensitivities for the career of Allen Iverson, and had no idea the type of euphoric effect it could cause for females. Pretty much all I do now is go around to hot yoga classes with a mildly sour look on my face, wondering out loud why Allen can't go chase a ring as a gunner off the bench for a contender.

This is how I say that:

This is fun yoga...why can't Allen Iverson go chase a ring as a gunner off the bench for a contender.

Now, I must step away for a moment and note that this post was actually supposed to be an tempestual list of 27 teams Allen Iverson should sign with and why.*

That's when I took a break to go get a picture of Allen Iverson for the Allen Iverson post. That's this post.

Did he get a little doughy.

So, and in conclusion, the first trailer to for Who Shot Mamba? came out today on the Facebook Page. Tomorrow I'll be at Both Teams Played Hard, being sad about the Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers logo, and explaining how I use that to pick up girls at karate class.

* The Cavaliers, the Timberwolves, and the Grizzlies were the only teams I couldn't find a reasonable justification for signing Iverson.

Brian Spaeth is the writer and star of Who Shot Mamba?, a Broadband Motion Picture debuting October 13th on Koldcast.tv. He has also published two novels, and writes regularly at his own blog. He frequents Twitter in a big way.

Comments

[Scott @ WFNY]

Will there be tour t-shirts?

[Brian]

Yes and mugs - how many mugs do you need -

[Scott @ WFNY]

At least one per mouth. At least.

[mcbias]

I'm waiting for the video game, myself.

[Beth]

this is the finest post about the NBA that I have read today.
What does NBA stand for, anyway?

[twitter.com/jeannevb]

you had me at "Once upon a time..." *takes off karate belt*

[Utah Jazz Blog]

Personally I'm thrilled to see karma coming back to bite AI. That comment may not go over quite as well in yoga class, but it's a chance I'm willing to take.

[Лечение наркомании]

Cool

[Tramadol]

Now that Iverson submitted his leave of absence? do you think he'll still comeback?