Spurs Commenter Lays the Smackdown on Suns

By A Spurs Fan

Dave, frequent commenter at TAB and a Spurs fan, posted a quality smackdown on the Suns (after their 84-81 loss to the Spurs at home) that was worthy of its own post. Check it out:

The Spurs totally own the Suns. To all the Suns fans out there who are still whining about last years' playoffs and are operating under the delusion that without Horry's hard foul on Nash and Amare and Boris' subsequent ejection the Suns would've won the series, i just wanted to say, ha ha.

The Suns couldn't beat a Spurs team playing their worst basketball of the season without Parker, Barry, Horry and Manu & Finley shooting like shit. The Suns will never, ever beat the Spurs in a seven game series. Being a suns fan must be like dating a beautiful girl who doesn't have a vagina. Pointless.

Your apology is accepted.

Any Suns fans wish to reply? And how do you feel now that your window of opportunity has slammed shut after the Gasol trade? Despite having the best record in the Western Conference, your team seems to lack the chemistry that made it so special the past 3 years, your owner is willing to save money rather than contend and your best player is on the downside of his brilliant career... any thoughts?

Comments

[Hardwood Paroxysm]

Yes, you are right. That guy is right. The Suns have no place on the court. They are clearly inferior. After all, they did lose a January game with the Spurs in which they shot 38%. And the Lakers did pick up a soft power-forward that operates too much from the elbows and has sever injury issues (not that that's a problem for the Lakers, apparently. They love da injury-plagues big-men). They should really dissolve the franchise. There's no point in it. In fact, let's call off the season right now. I mean, really, when you get down to it, we can just have the Spurs and Lakers play a seven game series that the Spurs win without much difficulty in six and call it a day. The rest of this season is pretty much just pomp.

Oh, I know what people might say. "But the Suns kicked the living crap out of the Spurs in San Antonio this season!" Don't fall for it. The only thing that matters is what happened most recently! Unless the Suns beat them again. Then it's the "Yeah, well, you can't beat us in the playoffs". Yes, that old chestnut.

Hmmm? The Lakers might be without Bynum for the rest of the season? Hmmm? Their only wins since he's been out have been against inferior teams? Don't worry! We have a soft power-forward with no experience in consistently winning and is best in a Euro-style offense! Dynasty? Here we come!

It's clear the Spurs have an advantage over the Suns. That's what happens when you have no interior defense and Tim Duncan plays for the other team. But to say it'll never happen? Come on. It's not like the series last year was a blow out. It was a close matchup that featured both teams with their full rosters for all six ga... wait. No, it wasn't. The Spurs might want to focus on finding the fountain of youth for Finley, Horry, and Bowen and working out some sort of trade deal for Eva to get Parker's nuts back and get her to quit spilling the beans about his out and out flopping and faking injury.

The Lakers? It's clear the trade made them better, but I'd hold off on anointing them as the team to beat until we see if A. Gasol will have any idea what he's doing in the triangle, B. if Bynum can get back 100%, and C. if Kobe can actually win with the "shoot 50 times per game and then blame it on my teammates" approach he's had so much success with in the past.

[basketbawful]

You know I'm not going to pass this one up, right?

First, to Dave: For somebody accusing Suns fans of living in the past, that's what you're doing. Last year? Meaningless. And as for this year, well whoop-dee-fucking-do. Congratulation on your meaningless regular season win. Let's just wait and see what your ancient ball club has left come playoff time, shall we? Especially now that you've effectively stat cursed your team.

Second, to HP (damn dude, you really get around): I concede that, on paper, the addition to Gasol makes L.A. look like a killer team. But then again, this is the same organization, run by the same coach, led by by the same selfish superstar, that choked away a title with the classic Shaq/Kobe/Mailman/Glove squad. You still gotta play the games.

[basketbawful]

Ooops. I saw "Posted by: Hardwood Paroxsym" and thought he wrote this post. D'oh. Okay. I take that back. Please replease "To HP" to "To whoever wrote this post."

[dave]

wow! my own post! this is awesome! hey, thanks for capitalizing all of my proper nouns for me. it is my refusal to let go of my "lower case typing style" that has prevented me from a career in sports blog journalism. now look at me, big time, just like bret and craig.

of course, hardwood is right, there are no absolutes in anything. maybe a scientist will invent flubber and put it on the sun's shoes. the suns could get that "white shadow" guy to coach them instead of that douchebag d'antoni. seriously, grow a real beard or shave off that 'stache. you look like a gay porn star. i can't understand anything that guy says. what kind of accent is that? are there marbles in is mouth? "we look like a defensive juggernaut out there duh huh huh huh." it takes 4 out of 7 to win, sun's fans. do you really think your team can do that? sure you do. don't stop believin', you rascals!

i also agree that adding gasol doesn't necessarily make the lakers better, but getting rid of kwame sure does. gasol's game doen't really fit with yoda jackson's zen triangle coaching dogma and, although pau is talented, he has played for the grizzlies his whole career. winning is not in this guy's vocabulary.

oh, and one last thing, i'm not just a spurs fan, i'm a basketball fan. the spurs are my favorite team, but i enjoy the sport. i appreciate good basketball played at a high level and i don't care who is playing, even if it's eastern conference teams. suns, mavs, lakers, i can admit that they are all good. if the spurs can't repeat this year my world doesn't end. i'll move on. i won't jump teams. i won't become a lakers fan. i won't be whining about it a year later.

[dave]

you said "whoop-dee-fucking-do." you got me.

[Craig]

You guys are awesome!