Jackson GLAAD to Give the Best Apology Ever

By Craig Kwasniewski

Phil Jackson proved once again that he's the greatest head coach ever. Last night during ESPN's coverage of the Lakers-Rockets game, Phil Jackson give a taped apology regarding his "controversial" comments on Tuesday night. In typical Phil Jackson fashion, he totally blew off the incident and proved once again that he's smarter than the overreacting media:

My attempt to be humorous, which was using an alliteration last night, was greeted with some humor by the journalists and people around me covering the ballgame. I'm not Jay Leno or David Letterman, I'm not a comedian, I'm a basketball coach, and you know, trying to bring levity to the situation probably doesn't work when it's pulled out in retrospect. And I want to thank ESPN for doing that and making an issue out of this. And if I've offended any cowboys, any Texans, any horses, anybody else that would be offended by these comments, I want to apologize.

Brilliant!!! I'm sure he'll get a hearty fine from the front office, but it's totally worth it. It was a freakin' joke people! The only crime here was that Brokeback Mountain jokes are so 2005. Maybe he should have compared the Lakers poor interior defense was as loose as Britney's... ummmm lack of virginal qualities down there, if you know what I mean.

BTW - While we're here, that Rockets-Lakers game was brutal! The Lakers had a ton of chances to blow the game wide open and lacked the killer instinct, only to pull out the victory in the end. Instead of going to Kobe Bryant down the stretch, because he's the best player in the NBA, the Lakers tried to use screen and rolls with Derek Fisher and Ronnie Turiaf??? Sure, make the best player on the planet your decoy. Let's ask LaDainian Tomlinson how that's going. With less than 4 minutes left GET THE DAMN BALL TO KOBE!!!!

BTW 2 - Credit goes to Matt "Money" Smith of KLAC for the Sam the Eagle idea... high-larious.

Comments

[Bassett]

Not a big fan of PJax, but I love that he's slapping the PC culture, led by the bleeding hearts at ESPN esepcially.

One question ... does he know what an alliteration is, or am I just stupid for not getting that part of the joke too?

[basketbawful]

No, Bassett, you didn't miss anything. Jackson misued "alliteration" in an attempt to sound intelligent and well-read. Instead, he comes off like a pompous douchebag, particularly since he specifically stressed "using alliteration last night."

Maybe he meant "wordplay" or "double-entendre." Or maybe he's just pretentious twit. I'm going to go with the latter.

Also, note that the Lakers benefitted from McGrady's first "uh oh" injury of the season. The Lakers might have underutilized their closer, but the Rockets didn't even have theirs.

[Craig]

Ahh but they did have unlimited access to the free throw line. (NBA rule 203.4a states that, "anyone breathing on Yao Ming will be whistled for a foul." It's on page 37, trust me.)

So there's no need for a closer when you have 39 wide open 15-foot set shots.

[lol]

I think he meant to say allusion, and if not, it was just part of his joke while keeping a stern face. lol