By Craig Kwasniewski
Well that was two and a half hours that I'll never get back!
The Lakers lost at home 88-86 to a blatantly tanking Memphis Grizzlies team (they sat both Mike Miller and Chucky Atkins with Shaquries (fake injuries), basically daring the Lakers to lose). Normally I'd put together some kind of game report with news and observations from The 316, but this game was so unwatchable and I'm so pissed at the loss that I'll just summarize the whole experience with a simple question?
Hey, who here wants to pay between $20 and $1,000 a seat to see Smush Parker shoot? What about Sasha Vujacic? Anyone? Any...one? (Okay that's two questions, but you get the point.)
As the Lakers proved during their five game winning streak, they need 40 plus from Kobe to have any chance at winning. Vujacic and Parker jacking threes in the fourth quarter will never lead to Laker W's. And just what the hell is Smush Parker doing taking the last shot? You have the best closer in the NBA since Michael Jordan and the best option is a Smush Parker three from the baseline? Kobe guarded by the 1985 Chicago Bears has a better chance than a Smush Parker lay-up. What kills me is that I guarantee that Laker
doofus douche dumbass dickhead GM Mitch Kupchak will outbid himself and extend Smush Parker through 2010. Guaranteed!
And while we're here talking about Sir Smushness... we all know NBA ballers love to dabble in the ladies. So just how skanky are the ones that pursue Smush Parker? Just how many open sores do they have? Come on seriously, there has to be some sort of groupie pecking order, right? So players like D-Wade and Shaq get Playboy-level chicks while Smush Parker and Sasha Vujacic have to share the cleaning ladies. It's only fair.