The Association

NBA Draft Thoughts

By Craig Kwasniewski

Whew! The draft is over, was there 60 picks or 60 trades?

So what did we learn from the draft? Here's what I got from the 2006 NBA Draft:

-Isiah Thomas is going down in a blaze of glory! I set the over-under on Renaldo Balkman/Rolando Blackmon jokes at 2,371. I TIVO'ed the draft and watched the crowd reaction to the Knicks 20th pick 5 times and it hasn't gotten old yet.

-I'm loving the effect the NBA dress code has had on Adam Morrison. Wednesday he looked like he came straight from his summer job at Blockbuster. Today's introductory press conference he broke out a pin-striped suit. He's got the WNBA player-in-high-heels awkwardness about him. I may start a Adam Morrison Fashion blog site. It cracks me up.

-Portland made the whole night fun. We've all had that one guy in our fantasy leagues that just likes to make trades all season, even if it's 2 dimes for a quarter. He'll fuck up his season eventually trading too much... that was Portland last night.

-I learned that I sucked when it comes to draft predictions. I got a whopping 5 out of 30 correct! Still, slamonline.com asked for me to participate in a mock draft and it was fun to get into it.

-Utah shocked me the most. Given they have the whitest fan base in all of professional sports, not one cracker? Evidently modesty is not a Mormon virtue as they linked all the draft grades to their website.

-With all the trades, it'll take me a few days just to see if there are any major repercussions. I am giddy at the rumored A.I. trade to Boston. It's worth it to see A.I. and Paul Pierce grow to hate each other's ball-demanding games.

-David Stern likes England to win over those cheating Portuguese (see photo).

-Now let me put away "unbiased guy" and put on my Laker fan persona...

Mitch Kupchak is a (earmuffs please)... fucking, cocksucking, shitbagging, ballbusting asshole of a General Manager!

Why oh why did he have to take Jordan Farmar? Here's a few reasons why Farmar was a poor pick:

1. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever take a local kid. Family, friends, posse and alumni obligations are all huge distractions to a young player coming into the league. Besides LeBron there's not too many local-kid success stories. That alone is a very pre-2005 Clipper-like move. All I have to say is Bo Kimble.

2. Unknown to people outside of Los Angeles, but UCLA basketball is ranks up there with Entourage as highly overrated. I've always joked with my friends that the newspaper is the UCLA Times. Every season (especially during the Steve Lavin era) the media hailed UCLA's "Final Four talent!" How many lottery picks in the past 10 years? One in Barron Davis.

3. Never let the bandwagon element influence your draft pick. Local media are claiming that the Lakers "lucked-out" when Farmar fell down to the 26th spot. Just who the hell was making Farmar a lottery pick? Four weeks ago Farmar was a rumored late 1st-early 2nd round pick. He was considering returning to UCLA for another season (with "Final Four talent!!!"). Being the most visible star on Final Four bound UCLA obviously clouded the local media's vision.

4. Lets look at the numbers... being rather small at 6-2 you would hope that Farmar's a good outside shooter. Nope, he shot a Devean George-like 41% from the field. At least he's quick, right? Not really, he doesn't have the type of lateral speed to keep with Nash or Parker. And at 19, he's a good 2 or three seasons from developing into a regular on the team.

5. Instead of drafting a more experienced player who's ready to contribute immediately, the Lakers drafted with their future in mind, continuing to neglect Kobe in his prime. So I guess the plan is to squeeze everything out of Kobe for 3 seasons while losing in the first round every year with ZERO talent...good stuff.

Anyway, enough of Laker talk. What did y'all think about the draft? Any surprises? Were there any trades? REACTION!

NBA Draft Special

By Craig Kwasniewski

Is it me or is the NBA Draft today?

We're not draft experts here at The Association, but we're big enough fans to have somewhat of a clue (unlike half of the GM's) to know what each team needs this offseason. So we put together a three part preview on tonight's draft. Check it out:

NBA Draft - Needs and Reality, Part 1 (picks 1 through 10)

NBA Draft - Needs and Reality, Part 2 (picks 11 through 20)

NBA Draft - Needs and Reality, Part 3 (picks 21 through 30)

It's A Ball

by Brett Edwards

We have our answer to yesterday's question of "what's in the box." Turns out that it wasn't the secret agreement between Stern and Wade, weapons of mass destruction, or Pat Riley's head. As Craig and I guessed, it's a new game ball.

The features of the new ball include "a new design and a new material that together offer better grip, feel, and consistency than the current leather ball," as well as "moisture management that provides superior grip and feel throughout the course of a game."

Whatever. Funniest part of the press release is where they assure us that the ball has been tested thoroughly, by using it in All Star Weekend activities, and the fact that "NBA retired players Steve Kerr and Mark Jackson participated in testing the new ball as well."

Oh good, with Mark Jackson testing it we can see how the ball will perform when handled by an overweight point guard who makes crosses to praise God during game play, and with Kerr testing it we know that the ball handles well when used by a slow white guy who can't dribble and just jacks up 3s. Hell, if that was the criteria, they might as well have had me test it.

NBA Draft - Needs and Reality, Part 3

By Craig Kwasniewski

Earlier I posted Part 1 and Part 2 of our NBA Draft outlook. Now comes Part 3 of the draft (picks 21 through 30), the rest of it. I admit, some of these picks are a stretch (damn, these draft forecasts are harder than you think! Chad Ford, you definitely earned half of your wages... until your first of many Euro busts.)

Anyway, in looking for some draft coverage photos, I stumbled upon this one of Adam Morrison. I just keep thinking of Chris, from Family Guy screaming, "Why am I so awkward!?" I'm really starting to love the NBA dress code.

So let's continue with Phoenix:

21. Phoenix: Their offseason could be the best in the NBA. After finishing as a Western Conference Finalist, they get Amare back for next year. They still may want to add some size. Playing with house money here, they take Oleksiy Pecherov.

22. New Jersey: Watching Anthony Johnson scorch Kidd in the playoffs on offense tells me that Kidd is slowing down. Time to draft a replacement point in Sergio Rodriguez.

23. New Jersey: Here they can draft some physical size in Josh Boone.

24. Memphis: They need to add to the backcourt, especially if Bobby Jackson leaves. I see it in Maurice Ager.

25. Cleveland: They need to prove to LeBron that they are serious about contending, so no projects here. Shannon Brown is one of the best players left at this spot.

26. Lakers: Notorious for pissing away draft picks (Devean George, Mark Madsen, Sasha Vujacic, Brian Cook), horrible trades (Shaq for Lamar Odom and salary cap hell till 2007) and crappy free agent signings (Aaron McKie and Vlade Divac); Mitch Kupchak is an Isiah Thomas away from being the worst General Manager in all of professional sports. So how does he fuck up this pick? He’ll probably take local guy Jordan Farmer. (Though rumor has the Lakers drafting James White which is what they'll do.)

27. Phoenix: This one’s an absolute stretch, so don’t kill me for suggesting it, but why not draft Kevin Pittsnogle? The guy is 6-11 with incredible shooting range, a nice version of Bill Laimbeer. This would fit their system and he wouldn’t clog the lane for Amare.

28. Mavericks: What else can they add, Dallas runs 2 to 3 deep at every position. (Maybe they can draft a therapist to help them cope with being jobbed by the refs.) Anyway, they should take a chance on a long shot and draft a Euro project like Marcus Vinicius Vieria De Souza. I'll be checking daily for the Vinicius Vieria De Souza jersey, finally someone with a longer last name than mine!

29. New York: After 15 minutes of constant Fi-re Thom-as (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap), the Knick draft Mouhamed Saer Sene! (out comes a NY Jets fan-like, “AWWWWW BOOOOO”)

30. Portland: The Blazers close out the first round by taking Jordan Farmar. Actually a decent pick at this spot. As he walks up to the podium he fires up a splify and calls David Stern a bitch. He fits right in with Portland!

NBA Draft - Needs and Reality, Part 2

By Craig Kwasniewski

Now that you have seen Part 1, here is Part 2 of the draft (picks 11 through 20), the middle of the pack. There's a lot of teams in transition here, and we close with what will be my favorite moment of the night, the New York Knicks first pick. Time to prepare... (clearing throat)

"FI-RE THOM-ASS!" (clap... clap... clap-clap-clap)

"FI-RE THOM-ASS!" (clap... clap... clap-clap-clap)

So let's continue with Orlando:

11. Orlando: This team is on the brink of the playoffs. Dwight Howard is a beast! I like the midseason acquisition of Trevor Ariza and Darko has a great chance of saving his career here. They should take Ronnie Brewer to add some backcourt depth.

12. NOOCH: The Hornets were a pleasant surprise last year. They were able to compete without a single low post player on their entire roster. All their bigs scored from mid-range jumpers. They need a post-up guy. They'll probably take the best swingman available in Rodney Carney.

13. Philadelphia: I thought they had a decent mix of youth and veterans and would make the playoffs… bro, was I wrong! I think they are leaning towards trading A.I. more than ever and taking Randy Foye will start the rumors.

14. Utah: Their wish list is Adam Morrison, Andrea Bargnani, J.J. Redick, Sergio Rodriguez, Steve Novack, James Augustine, James White (oops, he's no longer on the list), Louis Admundson…. Is there a theme here? Fortunately for their fan base, J.J. Redick will be drafted by Utah here. (A huge sigh of relief by the fanbase of all the other NBA teams!)

15. NOOCH: They still need a low post big here. Alexander Johnson looks to be the man.

16. Chicago: What a difference a few euro draft busts make…the Bulls take swingman Thabo Sefolosha from Switzerland for athleticism and unbounded neutrality.

17. Indiana: This franchise is truly at the crossroads. Stojakovic is becoming a free agent, O,Neal is hearing trade rumors, Tinsley is injury-prone and Carlisle might not get a contract extension. I can’t see them drafting a point guard and waiting for development like they did with Tinsley. Many sites say they’ll take Hilton Armstrong, I agree.

18. Washington: The Wizar*s and coach E**ie Jor*an were so bad defensively that they lost the right to use the letter “D” for the 2006-07 season. This summer they need to extend Caron Butler’s contract and draft a big. Paul Millsap is left on the list of available power forwards. Do they teach defense at Louisiana Tech?

19. Sacramento: The last two season brought about a change in the identity of the Kings. Gone is the fun-loving, high-scoring, heavily entertaining playoff choking bunch. All that remains from the 2002 Western Conference Finalist team is Bibby. Time to start developing a point guard for the future? Definately, the Kings take Rajon Rondo.

20. New York: This is THE absolute must watch moment of the NBA Draft. A chance to see bitter Knick fan pop a vein booing the entire time the Knicks are on the clock. I’m secretly hoping that they waste this pick on some unknown Euro just to hear the comparisons with previous Knick waste Frederick Weis. Hopefully they’ll show Weis getting dunked over and on by Vince Carter during the 2000 Olympics. Unfortunately, the Knicks take Shawne Williams from Memphis for this pick.

Part 3 will be posted soon!

NBA Draft - Needs and Reality, Part 1

By Craig Kwasniewski

So the NBA Draft is Wednesday night. We at The Association don’t consider ourselves draft experts by any means. But from watching many games in person and on TV we do know what each team needs this offseason. Will they fill the needs Wednesday night or will the stupidity continue (yes, I’m talking to you Mitch Kupchak).

Anyway here is Part 1 of the draft (picks 1 through 10), lets take a look at each draft spot starting with Toronto:

1. Toronto: They need an athletic swingman to go along with Chris Bosh and they need to convince Mike James to stay a Raptor. This pick has Rudy Gay written all over it, but with the new front office having European ties, I see them drafting Andrea Bargnani.

2. Chicago: Needs a low post presence badly with Curry’s departure and Tyson Chandler becoming a poor man’s Marcus Camby (even down to being injury prone). LaMarcus Aldridge looks to have the best low-post potential and will fit the team. Does Chicago have the patience to wait a few seasons for his game to mature or will they trade this pick?

3. Charlotte: I liked the direction this team has gone. Take raw athletic players in the expansion draft and hope to draft talent over time. For an expansion team, they were pretty fun to watch. They need a point with a good work ethic to teach Sean May to keep the weight off. They’ll take Brandon Roy.

4. Portland: This franchise more than any other needs an Alpha Dog with strong leadership and is a truly good guy… BADLY. I can’t find one in this draft. They’ll go with a safe pick (code for white guy) and take Adam Morrison.

5. Atlanta: They should just say, “Screw it, we’ve blown so many drafts on shooting guards, we’ll take Ronnie Brewer!” Since they blew their chance at taking Chris Paul last season, they need a point guard here, but with Al Harrington possibly moving they also need a big. They’ll take Tyrus Thomas.

6. Minnesota: What’s their direction here? Do they draft complimentary pieces, trade for Starbury and hope for one final run for The Big Ticket? Or do they try to rebuild on the fly? I say they do the former and try to draft a relatively polished scorer in Rudy Gay.

7. Boston: Can you draft a head coach here? Since they are banking the future on Al Jefferson and the youth movement, do they continue and take a chance on a project player or do they draft a more experienced player? They look to add depth at the point and take Marcus Williams.

8. Houston: They need to get a new coach to add some life here. Is Pat Riley available to stab Jeff Van Gundy in the back and take over in Houston? This team needs some backcourt speed and athleticism. Plus, they looked thin at power forward as Juwan Howard’s corpse is running on fumes. They’ll take Shelden Williams.

9. Golden State: This team was very disappointing last season. I figured they would be the 05-06 version of the 04-05 Suns. Too much infighting (Barron Davis and Montgomery, Davis and Dunleavy, Davis and the ballboy) killed the season. They need a low post presence badly just to balance the offense, unless Ike Diogu is ready to step in. I see them taking Patrick O’Bryant.

10. Seattle: They really need to re-sign/extend The Association fav Chris Wilcox. He will have a breakout season in 06-07. They did a nice job adding Earl Watson in the midseason so he could platoon with Luke Ridnour. They need another aggressive big and they will be back in the playoff hunt. Seattle will take a chance at developing Cedric Simmons.

What's in the box?

By Craig Kwasniewski

The NBA is really trying to get your attention! This time they are rolling out a black box for some weird-ass promotion before the NBA Draft on Wednesday night. According to nba.com:

On June 28, NBA Commissioner David Stern will introduce the NBA's newest employees, as he announces the Class of 2006. Before that, however, he will unveil the contents of the black box below -- sure to change the way you see the game. Check back Wednesday at 11:30 a.m. ET to see what's in the black box.

So what in the box? Is it the hidden agreement between David Stern and Dwyane Wade to give him the 2006 NBA title after game 2? Is it Avery Johnson's lost defensive game plan on Wade? Is it Mitch Kupchak's brain? (Which can easily fit in a thimble.) Why all the mystery? Unless it's a way to eliminate the WNBA, allow betting from your remote control, or allow you to change television camera angles while watching, who really cares?

All I can think of is the end of one of the greatest movies of all time, Seven.

Is this Stan Van Gundy becoming wrath on Pat Riley?

The NBA Draft is Coming!

By Craig Kwasniewski

The NBA Draft on Wednesday at 4:00 PM (Pacific) on ESPN. Now that we are all over the shock (and horror) of the Miami Heat winning the NBA title, it's time to see what long-shot euro will be taken over a quality four-year college player. Now is the time for Chad Ford to justify what amounts to a six-month all expenses paid trip to Europe. But before any draft predictions or wish lists, here's some websites that you may want to look into for some quick research before your favorite team wastes their draft pick on J.J. Reddick:

NBA.com - Draft 06NY

ESPN.com - 2006 Draft

yahoo.com - Coverage of the NBA Draft

SI.com - '06 NBA Draft (Sports Illustrated)

New York Knicks Draft Central (for comic purposes)

Parade in Boston?

By Craig Kwasniewski

Just a simple question for y'all for the weekend...

Since the city of Boston threw a parade and celebration when Ray Bourque won the Stanley Cup with the Colorado Rockies, does that mean that we should expect one for former Celtic "great" Antoine Walker?

You may have finally broken The Curse in '04, but I will never forgive Sully, Murph, etc. for such a lame thing.

Correction: The Colorado Avalanche not the Colorado Rockies won the Stanley Cup. This is what happens whenever I reference exhibition sports like hockey.

Parade Time!

By Craig Kwasniewski

There are several steps after winning a professional sports title. Step one: the awkward trophy presentation from the league comissioner to the unathletic token rich white guy (owner). Step two: the photos of hung over players arriving with the trophy in hand on an airport tarmac. Step three: the sports media hyperbole regarding the newly anointed champions. Step four: the championship parade through town.

Let's talk about that one...

During the Laker's three titles, every media outlet here in LA covered the parade, which was basically a 3 hour bandwagon sesson of, "WOOOOOOOO, THE LAKERS RULE!!!!" The event itself is the last full-blown celebration until the home opener and subsequent ring ceremony. The day ends with each player dropping a one sentence speech to the fans. Good times all around.

So what do you think the Heat players will say? Here's a few on my guesses:

Shaquille O'Neal - "Miami is the new capital of California! Can Yooooooou Diiiiiiig It?"

Dwyane Wade - "I give thanks to God! Oh and thanks to the officials and Avery Johnson for allowing me to dominate the NBA Finals! We will win it next year!"

Alonzo Mourning - "God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God!" (Points to the sky)

Pat Riley - "I am the winner within! Suck it Phil Jackson! I'm better than you, even people in LA love me more than you! I am the king of the world!"

Jason Williams - "Yo dawg, why y'all be fronting on J-Will! Like I said, I'm not the guy who killed my driver."

Antoine Walker - "I'm the greatest forward in the history of the NBA!" (He does that shimmy shake thing and shoots a three pointer to demonstrate tha madd skillz. It hits the side of the backboard, like 80% of his shots)

Gary Payton - (Stunningly Silent)

Jason Kapono - "J.J. Reddick can't even hold my jock!" (WARNING to the team hoping to draft Reddick, this is your future)

Udonis Haslem - (Does his 2006 version of the Chris Webber playoff scowl) "We will win next year!"

Stan Van Gundy - (The sound of blood oozing from the new wounds in his wrist)

We shall see what actually happens on parade day in South Beach. Until then, feel free to post what you might think the Heat player will say.