March Madness: Day 1

by Craig Kwasniewski

Alcohol, strippers, gambling, alcohol, hookers... VEGAS! My favorite time to be in Vegas, 32 NCAA games in 48 hours, pure heaven! So I'm taking a little break in NBA posts to bring you the NCAA Vegas Experience. Bear with me, I'll be "under the influence" for all the entries.

Here's a breakdown of Day 1: The Journey to Vegas

7:30 PM: Mad scrable to Burbank Airport for my 9:15 flight. This is the last flight to Vegas and with typical LA traffic, there's always the chance I may miss the flight. The extra bonus is that the last flight is "The Stripper Flight." LA Strippers take this flight to do some weekend work in Vegas. I spot at least three strippers on my flight (the 5 inch heels, small handbag and fake boobs are a dead giveaway)

9:00 PM: Incident at the airport security checkpoint. Nazi-guy "HIGHLY RECOMMENDS" that I remove my shoes. I'm not forced to remove them, I'm just "HIGHLY RECOMMENDED." Screw you, I'm rockin' the Crazy-8's not the Mad Terrorists. I'm delayed for 20 minutes as security takes a cotton swab to my shoes. They tried to make it tough on me because I refused to remove my shoes, but I whistle out loud to show them that I don't care.

9:30 PM: Up and away on the 30 minute flight to Vegas. (Is there any other way to go?) I down a brew just to get a head start.

10:30 PM: To avoid the 1 hour line for a taxi, we take a $45 limo to the hotel (Stardust - old school all the way!). Along the way the driver points out all the full nude strip clubs. "That one over there is full nude... tip the doorman and you can bring in booze. The second floor has prostitutes!" (I LOVE VEGAS!) Side strip club advice: NEVER go to a strip club that a taxi/limo driver suggests. They get kickbacks and take you to some shitty places.

11:00 PM: Our first Elvis sighting of the trip. Not even 2 minutes at the hotel and we see an Elvis impersonator in the Stardust Lounge. BTW - talk about the pinnacle of your music career... Wednesday at midnight at the Stardust Hotel Lounge!

12:00 AM: Double fisting beers and making bets for the free t-shirt. The Dust has this sweet March Madness tee with a bracket on the back. A $20 4-team teaser bet gets you a "free" shirt. (Syracuse +3, BC -4, Iona +11, Air Force +13)

1:00 AM: We all roll to Denny's for grub and it's off to bed. Call me a pussy for the early sleep but we have to get up at 6:00 AM to save seats in the sportsbook. Normally we gamble till the witching hour.

7:00 AM: "SHIT!" I oversleep and miss the wake-up call. Luckily one of my sicko gambling friends got to the sportsbook at 5:00 to get us some seats. The moment I sit down I realize... I am surrounded by rednecks. That's the single downside to Vegas, 50% of the people here are mouth breathing, wife beating, cow tipping (thanks Dan), tobacco dipping REDNECKS! Anyway, I placed my morning bets and got the drink tickets (a free beverage with every bet) and I'm ready to go...

Some early bets:
Winthrop +6.5
Wisconsin-Milwaukee +2.5
Pacific 1st Half +4

I'll try to post more later if I'm sober enough.... GO PURDUE!!! (next year)

Comments

[Brett]

Nice report. You can stay with me when you get back after your wife throws you out of the house for all the stripper and prostitute references followed by exclamation points.

[J.E. Skeets]

"Double fisting beers and making bets for the free t-shirt." Brilliant.

Keep these reports coming...