The Association NFL

Let's Not Forget...

By Craig Kwasniewski

While we're in the middle of celebrating Larry Johnson's 4 TD performance against Seattle on Sunday, while the media is goes down on Larry Johnson (after giving a courtesy reach-around to Peyton, of course), let's not forget that Larry Johnson is a twice-arrested domestic abuser.

WIFE BEATER!!!!

Because ESPN is literally in bed with the NFL, most non-TO criminal activities get immediately buried in the back web-pages. Really a sad affair in news reporting that "the worldwide leader" is not a worldwide leader as a news source. (the one benefit was the creation of Deadspin.com as a result of the Ron Mexico story, another example of ESPN glossing over NFL infractions)

Let's get back to the matter at hand... Larry Johnson has been arrested twice for domestic abuse. The past infraction happened in September of 2005 for "an altercation with his girlfriend at a bar." According to the Associated Press:

Police Department spokesman Darin Snapp said the Chiefs running back was cited for domestic abuse assault. Johnson posted bond and was released, with a court date set for Sept. 20 on the municipal charge.

Snapp said the girlfriend came into the bar and saw Johnson with a different woman. The 25-year-old girlfriend, of Overland Park, Kan., saw Johnson and walked the other way, Snapp said, but Johnson text messaged her on her phone and asked her to meet him downstairs.

The running back then grabbed the woman by the arm and pulled her to the front door, Snapp said, where Johnson asked the manager to make her leave. The manager said he couldn't do that.

Snapp said Johnson became irate after his girlfriend confronted his date. The running back grabbed the victim by the shoulders and shoved her, causing her to fall onto the floor, the police report said.

The girlfriend told The Kansas City Star, in a story on its Web site, that the police report was wrong and denied that she was pushed or dragged to the door. Snapp said the woman told police she didn't want Johnson arrested, but instead just wanted the incident documented.

Friends convinced the woman the next day to file a police report after seeing bruises on her arms, Snapp said.

Obviously she fell down some stairs...

So what happened as a result of the arrest? Larry Johnson ran for 110 yards and two touchdowns against the New York Jets the next day and the story was immediately buried in the back pages. Lesson learned here, beat your wife/girlfriend during the week, score TD's on weekends.

Also in the same associated press article was a mention of a 2003 incident where Johnson "was charged in December 2003 with aggravated assault, a felony, and misdemeanor domestic battery." He allegedly was brandishing a gun during an argument with an ex-girlfriend at his home.

I looked for the story and could only find a copy of it here on www.chiefsplanet.com. Obviously, the NFL/ESPN has buried this one. Here's the story in it's entirety:

Posted on Fri, Dec. 05, 2003

Larry Johnson arrested in domestic abuse case

By TONY RIZZO, Kansas City Star

KANSAS CITY, Mo. - The Kansas City Chiefs voiced their support for running back Larry Johnson on Friday after domestic violence charges were filed against him.

Johnson, the Chiefs' first-round draft pick this year, was arrested early Friday at his south Leawood home. He is accused of slapping his girlfriend in the face and threatening her with a handgun during an argument at his home. The 22-year-old woman, who lives in Pennsylvania, called police from a neighbor's yard shortly after 1 a.m. Friday.

Prosecutors charged Johnson, 24, with a felony count of aggravated assault and a misdemeanor charge of battery. Defense attorney Kevin Regan represented Johnson at his initial court appearance later Friday and entered not-guilty pleas on his behalf.

General manager Carl Peterson expressed disappointment in hearing the news of the charges but said the team would wait to get all the facts before taking any action.

"Knowing the head coach, he always considers someone innocent until proven guilty," Peterson said.

Indeed, coach Dick Vermeil expressed confidence in a favorable resolution and said he hadn't ruled out Johnson for this weekend's game in Denver.

"I kind of believe he will be there, but I don't know, guys," he said. "I know very little more than you do. I've been told his side of it, and I believe him....

"(I) always believe the player. You know him so well. I always go on that side."

Regan said he would apply for the district attorney's diversion program, which is a probation-like agreement. If Johnson successfully completes the program, the charges would be dismissed.

"We vehemently deny that he threatened her or touched her in any way, shape or form," Regan said after the hearing.

Police recovered a handgun, but Regan said it is legally owned by Johnson and was not loaded.

In arguing for a personal-recognizance bond, Regan said Johnson once had to call police to his home in Pennsylvania because of the woman. He said Johnson has no criminal record, is a homeowner and has performed volunteer work for area charities.

"He's been a good citizen," Regan said after the hearing. "He's a good kid."

Assistant District Attorney Brian Lipford asked for a $5,000 bond, and Magistrate Judge James Phelan complied. The judge set several bond conditions, including no contact with the alleged victim, no use of alcohol and drugs and no possession of firearms.

Johnson's next court hearing was scheduled for Jan. 7. Regan hopes to know by then whether the diversion will be granted .

Meanwhile, it appears Johnson will be met with open arms by many of his teammates.

"He's come into this group and to this team, and he's fit very well," said fullback Tony Richardson. "He's definitely going to need our support. He's going to be asking for it. That's the type of team we have. We're a close-knit group. It's a big family around here."

As a result of the case, Johnson was required to complete 120 hours of community service, attend an anger management course and stay out of trouble for two years.

And his little brother is leaning from the best, he was arrested for a DUI on October, 2003.

All I'm saying is, let's not forget who the REAL Larry Johnson is.

"Cross" Training?

By Craig Kwasniewski

When did Seattle get a tranny for a QB? The photo shows Seahawk quarterback Seneca Wallace, center with New York Yankees cap, sitting courtside during a preseason basketball game between the Seattle SuperSonics and the Sacramento Kings. I had no idea that he looks like that.

I'm trading Deon Branch off my fantasy team... STAT!

So I asked The Association Wife how she'd write the caption for this photo:

"With finely manicured facial hair and pouty lips, Seneca Wallace is sure to earn his dollars as he 'entertains' customers at the WeHo tranny bar."

The Demons in Palamalu's Closet

By Craig Kwasniewski

Troy Palamalu is crazy! Not crazy-good or crazy-athletic or crazy-mad... he's just crazy.

According to The Week, Palamalu sees football as a spiritual battle between good and evil. And evidently his vision is greater than 20/20 as he sees demons (???). Here's the entire story:

When Pittsburgh Steeler safety Troy Polamalu knocks a running back on his rear, it's an act of worship. The long-haired, hard-hitting football player is a devout Christian who sees all of life as a struggle between good and evil. "Football in not a sport to me," he tells David Kamp in GQ. "It's a spiritual battle. Probably the label 'Jesus freak' is fine with me. Because I know who I am." The groundwork for Polamalu's piety was laid when he grew up as a self-described "city rat" in Santa Ana, Calif., stealing food, and breaking into buildings. Then, when he discovered football in high school, he had an awakening. "It was like, 'God, I want to thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to play this beautiful sport.' It got to a point where I was almost constantly in prayer. Praying through the whole game, praying through the meetings, praying as I'm driving - this constant conversation with God." Today, Polamalu keeps that conversation going, knowing that evil is ever present. "It's hard for me to say these things without sounding really crazy. But I can tell you honestly that I have seen, physically seen, demons. Like in the movies. Like, I could be sitting here and actually see a demon walking across. It's not like a monster, it's a complete emptiness, where nothing is right. A demon is anything that is doing the devil's work."

There's so many ways I can go here, but for the sake of space... Troy Palamalu, you're fucking crazy!

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MMPG 10/23

By Craig Kwasniewski and Brett Edwards

Time for another edition of Monday Morning Point Guard - NFL Edition, for clarification, Brett is in italics.

1. Denny Green should never coach in the NFL ever again! All the Raiders had to do was lose this week and they were guaranteed a 0-16 team. The best part was hearing all the Raider players react to the potential 0-16 questions. Warren Sapp was talking about pulling a TO and slitting his wrists. Funny as hell!

I know it was you Fredo Denny. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!

2. The first question I'd ask Denny Green in the press conference, "So were the Raiders who you thought they were?"

3. Four words that Steeler fans do not want to hear, "Here comes Charlie Batch!" Actually he played pretty well against ATL yesterday. I give it two weeks before he realizes, "Hey I'm Charlie Batch!" and flings three interceptions is a blowout loss.

4. My solution to the immobile Art Shell factor: Laminate a menu from a Chinese Restaurant. You know one of those that you order by the numbers, so it kind of looks like a playbook. So between every play he looks down at say "#101 - Kung Pao Chicken" or "# 67 - Cantonese Beef" and turns to nobody and yells "Number 101!!!" Suddenly you'll hear the likes of Joe Theisman saying how great a game that Shell is calling.

5. Killer stat for my fantasy football team. Ronde Barber has more touchdowns (2) than Tiki Barber (0).

6. A HUGE high-five to the TB kicker for his game-winning 62-yard field goal. This killed all of the "McNabb willed the Eagles to victory" talk and the impending media circle-jerk over the guy. That last touchdown by Philly was the worst defensive effort of this season. Westbrook took a 5-yard dink pass the distance after breaking (and you counted them with me) FIVE tackles. That play had NOTHING to do with Donovan McNabb! This is the second straight week that McNabb started off slowly, not a good trend.

7. Hey so can we postpone the whole "Steelers are back!" talk. Feel free to beat a few quality teams before you mail them the back-to-back Lombardi Trophies. Also, feel free to play a little defense.

8. Overrated and annoying trend in the NFL: icing the kicker with a timeout. Unless the 2002 Sacramento Kings are kicking a field goal, the extra time "to think about the kick" mostly never works. The only time it did was because Bill Cowher called a TO as the ball was snapped (CHEATER!!!) and the refs called off a made FG by the ATL kicker. Replays showed that Cowher was even with the snap and the refs shouldn't reward such bullshit.

9. Here's my question of the week: At the end of the first half of the IND-WAS game, the Redskins defensive player got whistled for tackling the QB too low, when it was obvious that he was dragged into a flopping Peyton Manning. Vlade Divac had an orgasm at the site of Manning's flop. So Indy gets 15 yard off the personal foul and drives for a momentum-changing touchdown.

Yet somehow in the MIN-SEA game, the Vikings defensive player literally rolls into Hassleback's knee, ending his game and possibly his season. No penalty called and Hassleback is out of the game. SEA gets blown out on a momentum changing injury.

How many more seasons will we have to put up with the NFL giving the Colts wins? Seriously, what's their appeal? We all know Manning will find a way to choke in the playoffs, so why even bother giving these guys wins.

10. Just what the hell happened to JAX? 20 entries in our knock-out pool took them (including myself) and they lose to the second worst franchise in the NFL! If Byron Leftwich was broken, then sit out the damn game. Instead we got JAX running East Coast Martyball. HOU has one of the worst defenses in the game and still JAX had to punt seven times. And yes, I AM bitter that I lost for the first time in the knock-out pool.

11. Finally, the Cardinals suck! You broke my heart Denny!

What a Game!

By Craig Kwasniewski

That was fun, can we do that again!

No seriously, I'm buzzed all over the place!  The first day of our new blog: The Association NFL and I'm loving every single bit of it.

Here's my rundown of the game:

5:00 PM - Turn on the MNF pre-game stuff after spending the day surfing porn the web.

5:45 PM - Eat dinner w/ wife.  Her birthday was Saturday and I'm trying to win points with the Laker season coming up, knowing that I'll be going to 32 games this year.

6:30 PM - Turn on the game to see the Bears down 14-0.  (Pause)  WHAT THE FUCK!?!?  How the hell are the Bears losing to Arizona?  I rewind the Tivo 30 minutes, watching Rex Grossman passes hit everywhere but Bear receivers.  Matt Leinart is looking very Steve Young-ish.  Scrambling out of the pocket and firing left-handed passes all over the place with Cardinal receivers slicing through the vaunted Bear defense for TD's.

Charles Barkley (???) is in the ESPN booth announcing the game.  Theisman and Tirico are completely uncomfortable with Sir Charles.  There is ZERO chemistry.  (can we get some alcohol in this motherfucker?)  I'm counting down the minutes till half still trying to figure out how the Bears are losing and how the Arizona defense suddenly became the 2000 Ravens.

Grossman must have taken advice from Kurt Warner.  Every deep drop ends with a hit and a fumble.  I am trying REAL HARD not to throw the remote after Grossman's second fumble.  The fact that I'm sick saves me from downing straight Vodka at this point.

Halftime - Halftime comes and not soon enough, Bears are down 20-0.  Stop everything!  There's a new Jay-Z video at halftime.  ESPN has DJ Stuey Scott intro the vid... 

(click) I'm watching Saving Private Ryan on HBO. 

(click)  Back in time to see the 2nd half.

3rd Quarter - Finally the Bears put together a decent drive.  They chew up a lot of time on the drive, which is good to rest the D.  They stall and have to kick a FG, this is bad.  Time is running out!

I leave for coffee.  Yep, at this point I need to take a break, this is typical Bears on MNF.  They always seem to stink up the place on Monday night.  (Their lone loss in 1985 was on MNF.  It had more to do with McMahon being hurt than anything else, but the media always forgets this and tells us about the greatness of Dan Marino and the Miami Dolphins that night.  BTW - How many SB's did he win?  EXACTLY!)

4th Quarter - I come back to see the Bears down 23-10 in the 4th quarter.  Just one goddamn drive and WE'RE back in  this thing!  The Bears get great field position and are trying to drive for a TD with just under 10 minutes left.  The next three passes fall incomplete.  Can the Bears mix in a short dump pass under the zone defense?  There's not enough time for a FG, they have to go for it...

Grossman throws an INT on 4th down!!!   

The Arizona lineman takes the turnover into the endzone.  Wasn't he down?  The replay shows he's down, yet the refs take FOREVER to change the play.  What camera are they watching?  The fat cam on Denny Green?  Finally the play is turned over.

At this point the announcers are talking about a possible Arizona choke job.  What game are they watching?  The Bears offense is doing nothing and the defense has to be getting tired.  At this point Grossman has 5 turnovers to himself.  Kurt Warner is now idolizing Grossman's achievements.  Mrs. Kurt Warner just shaved a "Chicago 8" in her buzz cut.

The Bears D forces another punt.  This is an absolutely a stellar effort by their defense.  They are getting nothing from the offense and they still are keeping Arizona in check despite 5 turnovers.

The Bears are at midfield with 6 minutes left.  The clock is ticking!  GROSSMAN THROWS ANOTHER INT!  Are you shitting me?  Feel free to NOT throw a 25-yard out.  Seriously, this is the worst performance by a Bear QB ever.  And this is from a team that had Kordell Stewart starting a few years ago.

5 plus minutes left, the game is virtually over and the Cardinals are running out the clock.  The problem is that Arizona has no running game.  I know the Bears will stop Arizona, but there's no way they'll score again...

Edgerrin James just fumbled the ball!  Tillman picks it up a streaks for the endzone!  The score is 23-17.  They might have a chance.  Just one goddamn TD and the Bears steal a win!

Urlacher is all over the place as the Bears force the Cardinals into a punt with 3 minutes left and 3 timeouts.  There are camera shots of Rex Grossman fumbling his Gatorade cup, tripping over his shoelaces, dropping his helmet, pissing his pants... it's getting ugly, yet one TD and Grossman's a hero.

HESTER RETURNS THE PUNT FOR A TOUCHDOWN!!!  WOOOOOOOOOOO!!  I jump up and down.  The dog is scrambling for cover, the wife is fortunately two rooms away.  This is amazing!!!

I call my dad (a diehard Bears fan since the 50's) immediately, "Can you believe this?"

"I never thought they'd do it!"

We chat for a second and quickly hang-up not to jinx anything.  At this point I'll take any result.  Win or lose, that's a ridiculous rally by Chicago.  Down 23-3 late in the 3rd quarter and they take the lead with 3 non-offensive TD's.

While the ESPN announcers are stunned at the rally, Arizona get excellent field position after the kickoff at their own 38.  Nobody seems to notice this.  Neil Rackers was simply automatic last season and I'm thinking all Arizona needs to do is get to the 30 yardline and they win.

Leinart calmly drives the Cardinals down the field.  This guy's cool under pressure.  The Bears are giving the underneath stuff and unlike Grossman, Leinart is patient enough to take it.  They drive to the Bears 24 yardline. 

Call timeout!!!  I'm thinking that Rackers will nail the kick and the Bears need as much time s possible.  The Bears defense forces a field goal attempt from the 22 yardline.  This should be auto by Rackers.  ESPN shows a stat, "Rackers is 5 of 6 in the 4th quarter with game winning/tying field goals."  The only miss was last week, could this affect his confidence?

RACKERS MISSES WIDE LEFT!!!!

The Bears win.  Somehow they pull this one out of their asses.  I call my dad to talk up the win.  Afterward, I watch the highlights on ESPN for the next hour, trying to relive the moment.

This is one of those (cliche alert!) "moment of destiny" wins.  You know something special is going on with this one.  It reminds me of the 2-TD rally that McMahon had against Minnesota in 1985 on Monday Night.  The Bears were done then, as they were tonight, only to pull off a win.

WHEW!!!  Now excuse me while I pass out with some Nyquil.

MMPG 10/16

By Craig Kwasniewski and Brett Edwards

Time for another edition of MMPG. For clarification, Brett is in italics.

1. Nice to see that the Denver Broncos have become the 2005 Bears. Awesome defense, kill the clock on offense, minimize turnovers by the QB and win 13-10 every week. But since the AFC is the weaker conference this will be enough to get to the Championship Game (and a banner if your Indy).

The Broncos are basically just doing the bare minimum against sub-par competition (KC, OAK) and saving their energy for the tougher teams (NE and BAL). Next week at CLE you'll see more of the same, but then they play IND, PIT, SEA, and SD twice. That's rough for 5 out of the last 11. I expect the offense to get loose at some point though.

2. The "well what else did you expect when your dressed like a whore" award goes to Troy Polamalu for FINALLY getting tackled by the hair. Larry Johnson is now one of my favorite RB's ever! Though it is very ironic that Larry Johnson of all people yanked Polamalu down given that he became the exorcist last week on a break-away.

LMAO at the Exorcist line...and YES that was great to see. There's a guy on the Niners that is starting the same thing with the hair out the helmet, but his looks more like a pubic bush than anything else. It must be a Samoan thing, because that guy's name is like Umepupumaloa or something.

3. Speaking of the Steelers, let's not start "The Steelers are Back!!!" stories yet. They beat a KC Chief team at home with Damon Huard at QB. And what is more overrated, Jerome Bettis's personality or the Steelers trick play arsenal?

Steelers are a weird team, very up and down. But with BAL and CIN losing yesterday they're only a game out in the division! So they're not back but they still may be a factor before the season's done.

4. Reason Number 1,891 why he should change his name from Joey to Joe: Actually said by Phil Simms during the MIA-NYJ game regarding Joey Harrington, "He talks about playing for the Miami Dolphins over what he did with the Detroit Lions... what they do with the Dolphins suits him so much better. He wants to be a system quarterback. 'Tell me what to do, I'm not real good at ad-libbing, you know running with the ball and making plays.'"

Nice of you to pull the sensitive QB angle, Joey, and open up to us... but you may want to instill some confidence from your teammates by being confident in yourself!

5. A mighty middle finger goes out to Cincinnati, Washington and Buffalo. I was hoping to see a two or three 0-8's at the halfway point of the season, y'all let me down big time, especially D.C. You lost to a 0-5 team that ran the ball down your throats. "Eight in a box" is not another term for gang bang. Feel free to stop the run on a team with ZERO passing game.

heh heh...gang bang...

6. Cincinnati is learning what Portland learned a few years ago. Live by the thugs, die by the thugs. A borderline roughing the passer call kept Tampa Bay's game winning drive alive. Even if it wasn't the right call, Cincinnati's reputation got the call.

7. Carson Palmer may have one of the best passing arms in the game, but he still has trouble managing the clock. Stop taking sacks during the 2-minute drill!!! This week it happened at the end of the first half, and as my starting QB on my fantasy team, I'm worried that the Carson Palmer Project will screw me out of some points with all the sacks that he takes.

Cincy's looking like a fraud...the joke about the Madden curse extending to everyone in the commercials too is seeming like a reality, remember the one with Chad Johnson falling into the end zone? He looks broken, and they aren't running the ball like they did last year.

8. Owen's three TD's, I guess all is well!!! (waiting three seconds) NOT! (okay I broke out my material from 1994, but it's appropriate here) Three TD's against the Houston Texans does not count. This is the team that passed on Reggie Bush for crissake! Let's see what Dallas does on October 29th at Carolina... On Football Night in America on NBC with NFL funny-man Jerome Bettis!!!

Agree that Owens scoring TDs against the second worst team in the league isn't fixing anything in Dallas. In fact, I'm going to try to trade him off of my fantasy team this week while his stock is high.

9. Didn't it seem like Andrew IN---COM---PLETE!!! Walter had more than 13 incomplete passes? (That's the best IN---COM---PLETE!!! that I could think of. The other one was, "So I see that the Raiders went to their 4th string QB las night, Walter IN---COM---PLETE!!!")

10. So are the Saints for real or is Dick Bavetta reffing all their games? Impressive win against PHI, but the slow start could be attributed to the letdown factor after last week's emotion win over DAL. Still, NO keeps beating quality opponents.

Genius of the Saints to run out the clock before kicking the FG, not giving D-Mac a chance to win the game...with the way he's playing this year, you definitely don't want him having the ball with a chance to win, you'll regret it.

Fantasy football drama tonight. I'm up by 22 points, but the guy I'm playing has the Bears D, which has scored 21 and 22 each of the last two weeks. Needless to say, I'm worried! Game prediction: CHI 37 ARI 13, Bears D scores...21 and I get the W by a point!

My prediction: CHI 27 - AZ 9

MMPG 10/9

By Craig Kwasniewski and Brett Edwards

Time for another edition of MMPG. For clarification, Brett is in italics.

1. "You gotta be fucking kidding me!"

After one of Bledsoe's interceptions, TO was caught saying this on the sidelines to one of the Dallas coaches, followed by the predictible Joe Buck/Troy Aikmen exchange:

"It's a tired act isn't it," Said Aikmen.

"It just continues, doesn't matter what uniform he's wearing."

Look I'm not a T.O. fan by any means, but I have to agree with T.O. after this one. Bledsoe just threw a pass 10-yards short of T.O. into triple coverage. What the hell was Bledsoe thinking? So what was T.O. supposed to do?

Are you talking about that pass that was picked on the 10-yard line? That should have been a touchdown, and yes was short armed by a good 5 yards. AND on that play, Bledsoe actually had time to make the throw, unlike most of the rest of the day when he was running for his life. Bottom line for the Cowboys is that they need much better O-line play or they will continue to see sacks and interceptions, because Bledsoe has ZERO mobility. Which is why Tony Romo may be a better option this season. He's not better than Bledsoe, but he's almost as good and way more mobile, and considering the lack of pass protection it may be the way to go.

2. BTW – The DAL-PHI was NOT a good game. Three turnovers in the first 5 possessions. Bledsoe killing Dallas drives by taking sacks and throwing int's, and they still had a chance to send the game into OT because of a stupid pass interference on a fourth down and 99 play for Dallas. Which is more overrated? The NFC East or our success in the Iraqi War?

YES that conference is overrated (East coast bias), but it was actually as exciting a game as you can ask for! Not extremely well played (lots of turnovers), but lead changes, long pass plays for TDs, and DAL even pulled a 4th and like 28 out of their ass and had a chance to tie at the end! Seemed pretty exciting to me.

3. Is Brian Griese the new Jim Sorgi? Here's the big difference between the media's favorite team, the Indy Colts and the Chicago Bears: The past three seasons Indy kept Peyton in the entire game, running up the score trying to improve their BCS ranking. The Bears, knowing that the championships are won in January, rested their starters as soon as possible. So instead of gaudy Indy numbers, you get closer games.

Um, closer games like 40-7???? Please Bears fan. Let's see CHI rest all of their DEFENSIVE starters as well, then we'll talk.

You got me there... but still 40-7 and clearing the bench for the fourth quarter.

4. Speaking of Indy, they are a seriously flawed team. They BARELY beat one of the worst teams, starting the second worst QB in the NFL and at home. IND has no running game, can't stop the run and their special teams coverage is HORRIBLE. Yet, still people will talk about Peyton rallying his team to victory. This will all come back to haunt them against quality opponents.

Well, I agree that IND has problems, but as bad as they played they still got the W. So while the media will continue to fillate Peyton Manning, real NFL fans know that the Colts have a lot of work to do to get through the rest of the AFC.

5. The NFL needs to start tracking turnovers that lead directly to TD's. Who would lead the league? Drew Bledsoe, Jon Kitna or Brett Farvre?

Probably Favre, but more importantly this needs to be trackable for Fantasy purposes! It would be great to give a QB negative 9 points for a pick (-3) that leads to a TD (-6). They really need to come up with a way to track this.

6. Speaking of Kitna, I guess God is a Vikings fan. How else do you explain the Jake Plummer-like turnovers. The one off a sack that led to a TD can happen to anyone, but the falling down flip to the DB with the game on the line was inexcusable! Will this lead to a Kitna questioning his faith? Does he denounce God and go on cocaine and stripper bender? Just once, I'd like to see these God-guys loose it and fall off the wagon. Just once!

7. BTW – The Indianapolis Colts have an "AFC Finalist" banner! During a timeout in the TEN-IND game they were talking about the Colts recent success and showing all the banners and suddenly I saw it…WOW!!! Talk about embracing failure! They should pull a Utah Jazz and put Manning's grill on a banner with his playoff record under it.

Speaking of timeouts, did you see the DirecTV commercial at halftime, the one where IND is beating TEN like 28-3, and Manning is telling you to get DirecTV so you don't have to watch the rest of the blowout? Freaking hilarious when the actual halftime score was TEN up 10-0! I bet Jeff Fisher played that thing on an endless loop all week to get his team ready.

8. Holly Kordell Stewart batman, does Vince Young suck!!! For the first time in NFL history, a player received more compliments than passing yards. His numbers were: 10 of 21 with 63 yards passing and 1 INT and that didn't explain it all. With roughly 14 seconds left and driving the for a field goal to win, Young (with zero timeouts) scrambles for 12 yards rolling out of bounds. The play takes the clock down to 2 seconds with the ball at TEN's 40 yard-line, basically sealing the game for IND. Instead of pointing out that TEN could have thrown the ball twice in the same time span, Young is being praised for his veteran moxie. Umm, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't the ball travel faster in the air than on the ground?

9. As you know, I took NE in the knockout pool and I was seriously worried about my chances when I saw that Culpepper was not starting for MIA. That was until I saw Joey Harrington line up under center and started spraying around INT's… easy money. Besides the Raiders, is there a more sorry QB situation in the league than MIA?

First of all, believe it or not a healthy Harrington is way better than a broken Daunte. Second, I talked to you during that game and you were gripping a little when it was only 13-10. And as you know, I had IND in the pool so I was gripping a little more, especially when Manning threw a pick in the red zone midway through the 4th. I'm living a charmed life in that pool with TWO one-point wins in 5 weeks.

10. That Reggie Bush runback was OVER-RATED!! All he did was run to where the wall was set up and sprint untouched to the end zone! YES he's fast, but he didn't make one move or break a single tackle on the entire run. The credit should go to the blockers on that one, not to Bush. Hell, I could've ran down the sidelines with a wall set up like that...

11. The Raiders are headed for 0-16!!! I thought they had a chance against SF, especially after KC ROLLED SF 41-0 last week. SF was even trying to give the game to OAK after failing on not one but two fourth and inches in the redzone. And still the Raiders got killed by possibly the fourth worst team in the NFL (OAK, TEN, DET). The DEN better not be the first team to lose to OAK next week!

DEN will not lose to OAK. Shanahan hates the Raiders, and will never let that happen. The Raiders still have a home game against HOU later this season, so that might be their one win. But for all intents and purposes, is there anything better than Raiderfan having to deal with their team being the WORST in the league? Now we know why they all wear costumes to their home games, it's because they're embarrassed to be seen there. Monday night prediction: DEN 20, BAL 6.

I agree with that. BAL is very overrated!

MMPG 10/2

By Craig Kwasniewski and Brett Edwards

Time for another edition of MMPG. For clarification, Brett is in italics.

1. What the hell was MIA doing running a trick play for a potential game tying 2-point conversion? They ran a RB option pass for the conversion! Obviously the pass fell incomplete. Is Sarge calling the plays? What happened to Nick Saban? Wasn't he the next great head coach? Now he's stuck with Dante Culpepper and Sarge's Madden 2003 playbook.

BTW - Sarge is our friend Dan. He's the one guy that everyone knows who constantly runs gadget plays on Madden. He'll run a first quarter punt fake at his own 15-yard line on a 4th and 25, which works 1 out of 100 times. Of course that one time is against me.

2. Props to the NYJ for actually running the old Stanford-Cal kickoff return play. Most coaches pass on that type of return and the game ends with a squib kick going to a lineman that falls on the ball. They almost pulled it off.

That was cool, but not as cool as 4th and Goal from the 3 in a tie game and not kicking a field goal...that's ridiculous. Worse was the pick in the end zone on the play, which gave the Colts the ball at the 20 instead of the 3! If you're going to go for it (which was stupid), your QB can't throw a pick! Whatever, as long as Manning has all day to throw the ball (read: NO pass rush), the Colts will pretty much be winning every game...until the playoffs of course.

Thumbs down to going for it. Like you said, take the points against a team like Indy. Instead, they went for the TD on fourth down, with a QB sprint out play that eliminates half the field! Bad choice and bad play selection!

3. Are the Bears for real? What's the ESPN generated excuse for the Bears not being good this week: No Shaun Alexander? Home game on national TV was far more important to the Bears than SEA. West coast teams traveling east. SEA letdown over such an asswhooping over the NYG.

SEA looked good on the first drive and then the Bears defense disrupted their offensive rhythm the rest of the game. Even if Alexander was there SEA hasn't been able to run the ball all season. On offense the Bears worked on establishing the run early and went all pass in the middle of the game. Soon defenses stop going eight in the box and the Bears running game will get better.

But of course, it must be an aberration, because the Bears offense sucks! Right? (And yes, I'm sounding like bitter MIA Heat fan in February of 2006)

ALRIGHT, Bears fan. Stop going bad college football fan with the "no respect" card. The Bears got their cocks sucked all night last night by the announcers, and are getting more of the media bandwagon pile on today. The Bears are getting all the respect they deserve right now (being only Week 4) as the best or 2nd best (Philadelphia being the other) team in the NFC. The bottom line is, keep winning and you'll have all the respect you want.

4. When did the Raiders get Joe Esterhaus as their defensive coordinator? You know you're a crappy team when the best tacklers on special teams are the kickers.

The Sports Guy factor: There was only one sideline shot on Art Shell the whole game and that's because he snuck into a shot of one of the other coordinators. Do you think all the ranting from SG caused the NFL to react to it? All I'm saying is that Romeo Cornell was on camera every 3 plays and not one single shot of Art Shell the entire game. Very interesting subplot.

Why were you watching this game, when you had JAX v WAS which was very entertaining, and NE beating down CINCY?

Good point! Because I have C Palmer and the CIN defense on my fantasy squad, it became too painful to watch. And somehow I had no desire to watch the JAX-WAS game... bad choice on my behalf, very Nick Saban.

5. Can we stop with the Brad Johnson makes no mistakes storyline? 2 Int's and most importantly:

Down by more than 3 with 14 sec's left, 3rd and 10 at the BUF 25 yardline and no TO's. Johnson throws a 5 yard pass down the middle, the WR (McMullen) is tackled and the clock runs out. Hey, I thought he makes no mistakes. That's two weeks in a row that he's killed the Vikings with poor 2 minute drills.

Everyone watched that first Monday night game and hyped up BJ because he went Kevin Garnett after they scored a touchdown (YEAH MOTHERFUCKER!). The reality is that guy is average at best.

6. Raiders may win next week. They have SF in the true Toilet Bowl. Though after blowing a 21-3 lead at home against CLE, they may never win a game.

No way the Raiders win next week. SF will bounce back and get the W. The Raiders' only shot at a W is a home game against HOU in like 6 weeks. Otherwise they may go 0-16.

7. Morton Andersen has man boobs! The fattest guy on your team should be the special teams coach, not the kicker.

Well, it doesn't seem to be working for the Raiders' kicker either.

8. Did Kurt Warner actually win the NFL MVP? Breathe on him and he fumbles. It's so bad that you can predict the play: Pressure, scramble away from the rush, look downfield, hit from behind, FUMBLE!!!

That's the last you'll see of Warner this season, unless Leinhart contracts Hep C from banging skank groupies on the road.

9. Lost in the ATL blowout (knockout win) was Vick giving up on the interception return. The guy's supposed to be the fastest player on the field and Algae Crumpler (6' 6" and 450 lbs) ended up chasing down the defender. Vick saw him run right by and just gave up. Dude, if you're throwing an INT into the endzone, you better haul ass to chase him down.

Yeah, and funny how on the highlight packages no one really is showing that INT, they're just showing the one made by Deion ERRRR Deangelo form ATL.

10. Charlie Frye has to stop heaving jump balls into the endzone! Did you see that one? He scrambled to the right and threw a jump ball across his body into the endzone trying to put the Raiders away. Almost a repeat of last week, except that the Raiders suck!

Dude, I said the EXACT same thing, I flipped over to that just as it happened. After literally costing his team the game last week by doing that, I was SHOCKED he did it again. Throw the ball away! You're telling me that all week his coaches weren't telling him that? The only thing more shocking than that was seeing the Bengals get destroyed at home by New England. I guess Denver is better than people thought! They're getting no respect, WAAAAAAAAAA!

MMPG 9/26

By Craig Kwasniewski and Brett Edwards

We at The Association love the NBA. But our second love is definitely gambling and no other sport is better for gambling than THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. Combine the DirecTV NFL Package, a Fantasy Football team, a $100 knock-out pool entry, a blog site and an opinion and you get our new weekly feature...

Monday Morning Point Guard

Now we're not diversifying into an NFL blog site (theleagueblog.com?), but with NBA news at a rather minimum (unless you consider NBA D-League tryouts newsworthy) we decided to give some brief takes on Monday morning regarding our favorite teams (Bears and Broncos), our gambling interests and any random thoughts from Sunday. When the NBA regular season starts, we'll roll this into a NBA weekend review column.

BTW - For the first run just pretend it's Monday and to clarify who's writing what, Brett will be in italics.

1. Did you watch the Ravens game? HOLY CRAP that was a lucky win! They got totally killed in the first half, to the point of Frye heaving up jump balls as he was getting killed by the Ravens D and Winslow was making circus catches. It was also one of those games where the CLE players, coaches, and fans reacted to every play as if it was the EFFING SUPER BOWL! I watched until BAL cut it to 14-12, then went to the gym, and the last thing I saw was CLE on like the 10 yard line about to put the game away, so I figured it was over. But that's why you pick against bad teams, they find a way to lose. So like I said about the strikeout pool, this seemed like a tough week, but the teams that were supposed to win eeked out victories.

(Many people took BAL in the strikeout pool this week.)

I'm guessing that you picked BAL in the strikeout pool. Because there's no way in hell you should be watching that game. I heard that BAL won at the last second, but I had no idea that CLE basically pissed the game away. BAL's not that good. GOOD defense and a below average QB. But unlike 2000, the defense is good but not historically good.

Still, I give it 2 weeks before the 1985 Bears/2000 Ravens comparisons start flying around the radio.

2. Regarding the Bears, I'll take a road win against a good division opponent any day. The Vikings aren't a playoff team, but they're 8-8 or 9-7. Though you have to love the whole "Brad Johnson is a great QB because he makes no mistakes!" bandwagon. Wasn't this guy deep on Tampa Bay's bench at the beginning of last season? How did he suddenly become the next Rich Gannon?

Some seriously bad coaching by Minnesota down the stretch. 82 seconds left with the ball at their own 41 and a third and 7, they run the ball for 5 yards. Obviously, they lose a lot of time on the play. So on fourth down they heave a pass downfield into double coverage hoping to get an interference call (Indianapolis' secret weapon)... no dice. Game over and STILL you have Colin Cowherd saying that Minnesota is well coached and the Bears aren't all that good. FUCK YOU!!!

Cowherd was doing the same thing with Notre Dame this morning...he gets mad when he piles on a team (ND this year, the Bears last year) and they turn out to suck, so then he just rips them the rest of the year. CHI is a good, solid team, I would put them a close 3rd in the NFC behind PHI and SEA. And CHI may end up being better, we shall see. Good road division win though.

3. Is there bonus fantasy points for spleen removal? If so, then I'm not paying in the fantasy league!!!!!!

I think it was actually a vag removal, he's played horrible this season.

4. You need to trade Alexander FAST!!! Up 35-0 against a reeling Giants team and the Seahawks still couldn't run the ball. This had the potential 135 yards 2 TD's writing all over it and I think he had 47 yards on 20 carries. And this is against a crappy Giants defense.

Tell me about it, I knew this last week and had 3 offers but none were that great. I'm still trying...

Editor's note: This entry was emailed to Brett on Monday morning, not knowing that Alexander was to be out indefinitely for a fractured foot.

Editor's note 2: Brett drafted Alexander first overall in our league. Given that his first pick last year was Dante Culpepper, I'm suggesting he change his team name to Draft Like Kupchak.

5. Carson Palmer is the new Brett Farve. Turning the ball over to enhance his own stats. 4 TD passes and 3 turnovers!

6. Broncos win... so what'da think....

Broncos D rules. Also, I was yelling "fuck you" to the Pats most of the night for all of their BS trick plays that didn't work. They think they're so smart, but Shanahan OWNS Belichik, I think he's only lost to him once in like 7 tries. Also nice to see the poise of Plummer continually converting 3rd and longs from deep in their own territory. Very nice win.

7. "Hail to the Redskins, hail to victory, hail to the Redskins, fight for ole D.C.!!!" How am I the only one in the strikeout pool to pick the Skins over the Texans? Gibbs would not start 0-3, it's the freakin' Texans, Portis was going to play and it's the freakin' goddamn Texans!!!

Easy to say once the games have been played, but still nice pick.

8. So I was watching the NFL Network's highlight show... now understand that it's a homer network so nothing critical will ever be said about anyone during the show. So the commentator's (some REALLY fat dude) compliment for Dante Culpepper against the NFL's third worst team (Texans ARE the second worst) is that Dante didn't make too many mistakes. So a good game from Dante is a game where he doesn't fuck up too much?

Miami should have lost yesterday just to screw over the people for actually betting on Dante!

9. The whole "Raiders will win over BYE" joke was completely played out. I loved how a lot of people telling the joke were pulling a muscle patting themselves on the back for such hijinks. I'm sure they're GREAT practical jokers! Still, Raider fan shoots back with one of two responses, "whatever... we'll still go 14-2" or "at least we've won three Super Bowls, bitch!!!" (As it kills them knowing that they're a 2-14.)

10. Finally, big ups to New Orleans for beating a good Falcons team. But seriously, given the situation there's no way New Orleans were going to lose. The NFL even rolled out some Dick Bavetta-esque calls throughout the game to ensure the victory.

The best part was Joe Theisman obviously missing the ESPN memo about not pointing out bad calls that favor New Orleans. In the second half one of the refs threw a flag on New Orleans for pass interference only to have Bavetta mysteriously pick of the flag after the play, no penalty. Theisman kept saying that a thrown flag by a line judge must mean some kind of penalty... obviously the stun gun wasn't working on Theisman and Tirico tried feverishly to change the topic.

Coffeenerdness: I bought a... screw it, we'll let King have that one.